- lition had always failed through the strong opposition made, not so much by the ministry, as by those individuals who were interested in it. The Brushites now renewed their attacks against the monster, and, being at the head of affairs, easily accomplished its overthrow. This was undoubtedly a splendid triumph of humanity, and of those who had espoused its cause; but it cost the latter no sacrifice, as the trade really produced no source of revenue which it could not have been made to bring in, if diverted into any other channel. We do not make this remark with a view to depreciate the merit of the act; for it matters not, when a man performs a meritorious deed, whether it cost him any thing or not; but to refute what the Brushites falsely asserted, that this trade had been maintained by their predecessors, prin cipally on the score of its being a source of revenue, the deficiency of which they would find a difficulty in supplying. But by whatever means it was abolished, we ought to return our grateful thanks to heaven, for having ligh tened us from so horrid a charge. Master Minikin also made a motion for the formation of a Committee, for reducing sinecure and useless offices, and for diminishing the unnecessary expenses of the state. No motion could have been more honourable to men in office, or more demonstrative of their patriotism and disinterestedness. Whether they would have performed the Herculean task of cleansing the Augæan stable or not, we cannot say, as their subsequent petulance disabled them from carrying the motion into effect. As politics are one of the dry subjects, we shall now, Reader, put an end to this Chapter, to give thee an opportunity of wetting thy whistle, if it require moistening. CHAPTER IX. THE AUTHOR EXPLAINS HOW THE POLITICAL LEVIATHANS KEEP UP THEIR MONSTROUS CARCASES AT THE EXPENSE OF THE LITTLE FISHES. A JUST TRIBUTE TO THE MEMORY OF AN UPRIGHT AND ABLE MINISTER. THE AUTHOR PREACHES REASON TO A LITTLE DESPOT; ALTHOUGH HE IS AWARE THAT HE MIGHT AS WELL PREACH IT TO THE WINDS. CHANCE now favoured these state-botchers, and threw in their way a journeyman, whose work buoyed up their leaden reputation for a while, and enabled them to come before the public with "A new disposition of the Financial Resources of the Manor,"-by means of which, even if the war should continue, no additional taxes would be necessary within three years, and none of great consequence, (probably none) within the next seven years, and none during the subsequent ten years. But then, the te nantry were to remain, during fourteen years to come, groaning under its present pressure, and longer, if any unforeseen circumstances (which the abilities of their pilots rendered more than an equal chance) should occur. The plan, which was deemed a chefd'œuvre of politics, but whieh by schoolboy's of twelve years of age is reckoned only two very simple rules of Arithmetic, was this:→ Any given sum, at 5 per cent. compound interest, will double itself at the end of fourteen years, but, at simple interest, the same sum will require twenty years. Now, if great A, the steward of Freeland, or any other country, borrow from little в, the people, 201. at simple interest, and great A lends little B, the half of it back again at compound interest: why, at the end of fourteen years, great A will have repaid little в his 201. with one half of his own money. (See Dilworth's, Walkingame's, or any other arithmetical school-book.) The idea of applying these rules to financiering schemes was originally hinted by an eminent mathema tician to Billy Vortex, who brought it into practice, amidst the sneers, cavils, and illiberal objections of the short-sighted, long-tongued Brushites. Time stamped its sanction upon the measure, and the Brushites now declared that their proposed plan was grounded on the flourishing state of the permanent revenue; —that is to say, on the revenue which had been established by Vortex ; on the foundation which he had laid for his successors. Thus, whilst they tacitly acknowledged by distant words, that they could do no better than to follow the man whom they had ridiculed as wandering during his whole life; they proclaimed loudly by their deeds, that- Billy Vortex, in his grave, is still our political North-Star!!! That what we have we prize not to the worth, Shakespeare. |