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happen to say a good thing, or tell a good story at Mar. Why, man, that's because I do want to steal table, you must not all burst out a-laughing, as if you out of the room. Faith! I have often formed a made part of the company.
resolution to break the ice, and rattle away at any Dig. Then, ecod! your worship must not tell the rate. But I don't know how, a single glance from a story of Ould Grouse in the gun-room : I can't help pair of fine eyes has totally overset my resolution. laughing at that, he, he, he, he! for the soul of An impudent fellow may counterfeit modesty, but me. We have laughed at that these twenty years ; I'll be hanged if a modest man can ever counterfeit ha, ha, ha!
impudence. Hard. Ha, ha, ha! The story is a good one Hast. If you could say but half the fine things to Well, honest Diggory, you may laugh at that; but them that I have heard you lavish upon the barmaid still remember to be attentive. Suppose one of the of an inn, oreven a college bed-makercompany should call for a glass of wine, how will you Mar. Why, George, I can't say fine things to behave ? A glass of wine, sir, if you please. (To them; they freeze, they petrify me. They may DIGGORY.1 Eh, why don't you move?
talk of a comet, or a burning mountain, or some such Dig. Ecod! your worship, I never have courage bagatelle; but to me, a modest woman, drest out in till I see the eatables and drinkables brought upon all her finery, is the most tremendous object of the table, and then I'm as bauld as a lion.
whole creation. Hard. A glass of wine, if you please. What, will Hast. Ha, ha, ha! As this rate, man, how can nobody move?
you ever expect to marry ? 1st Serv. I'm not to leave this place.
Mar. Never; unless, as among kings and princes, 2nd Serv. I'm sure it's no pleace of mine. my bride were to be courted by proxy. If, indeed, 3rd Seru. Nor mine, for sartin.
like an eastern bridegroom, one were to be introDig. Wauns! and I'm sure it canna be mine. duced to a wife he never saw before, it might be en
Hard. You numskulls ! and so, while, like your dured. But to go through all the terrors of a formal betters, you are quarrelling for places, the guests courtship, together with the episode of aunts. grandmust be starved. Oh! you dunces! I find I must mothers, cousins, and at last to blurt out the broad begin all over again. But don't I hear a coach drive start-question, of " Madam, will you marry me?” into the yard ? To your posts, you blockheads. No, no, that's a strais much above me, I assure I'll go in the meantime, and give my old friend's son you. a hearty welcome at the gate.
Exit. Hast. I pity you; but how do you intend behaving Dig. By the elevens ! my place is quite gone out to the lady you are come down to visit at the request of my head.
of your father? Roger. I know that my place is to be everywhere. Mar. As I behave to all other ladies. Bow very 1st Serv. Where the devil is mine?
low ;-answer yes, or no, to all her demands; but 2nd Serv. My place is no where at all; and so I’ze for the rest, I don't think I shall venture to look in go about my business.
Exeunt Servants. her face till I see my father's again,
Hast. I'm surprised, that one who is so warm a Hast. After the disappointments of the day, wel- friend can be so cool a lover. come once more, Charles, to the comforts of a clean Mar. To be explicit, my dear Hastings, my chief room and a good fire. Upon my word, a very well inducement to come down was to be instrumental in looking house; antique, but creditable.
forwarding your happiness aot my own. Miss Neville Mar. The usual fate of a large mansion. Having loves you; the family don't know you; as my friend, first ruined the master by good house-keeping, it has you are sure of a reception, and let honour do the at last come to levy contributions as an inn. Hast. As you say, we passengers are to be taxed
Enter HARDCASTLE. to pay all these fineries. I have often seen a good Hard. Gentlemen, once more you are heartily sideboard, or a marble chimney-piece, though not welcome. Which is Mr Marlow ? [Mar. advances. actually put in the bill, inflame the bill confoundedly. Sir, you're heartily we.come. It's not my way, you
Mar. Travellers must pay in all places; the see, to receive my friends with my back to the fire! only difference is, that in good inns, you pay dearly I like to give them a hearty reception, in the old for luxuries; in bad inns you are fleeced and starved style, at my gate; I like to see their horses and
Hast. You have lived pretty much among them. trunks taken care of. In truth, I have been often surprised that you, Mar. (Aside. He has got our names from the who have seen so much of the world, with your servants already. [ To Hard. We approve your natural good sense, and your many opportunities, caution and hospitality, sir. [To HAST.) I have could never yet acquire a requisite share of as- been thinking, George, of changing our travelling
dresses in the morning; I am grown confoundedly Mar. The Englishman's malady: but tell me, ashamed of mine. George, where could I have learned that assurance Hard. I beg, Mr. Marlow, you'll use no ceremony you talk of? My life has been chiefly spent in a in this house. college or an inn, in seclusion from that lovely part Hast. I fancy, you're right: the first blow is half of the creation that chiefly teach men confidence. the battle. We must, however, open the campaign. I don't know that I was ever familiarly acquainted Hard. Mr. Marlow—Mr. Hastings-gentlemenwith a single modest woman, except my mother; but pray be under no restraint in this house. This is among females of another class, you know
, gentlemen; you may do just as you Hast. Ay, among them you are impudent enough please here. of all conscience.
Mar. Yet, George, if we open the campaign too Mar. They are of us, you know.
fiercely at first, we may want ammunition before it Hust. But in the company of women of reputation is over. We must shew our generalship by securing, I never saw such an idiot, such a trembler; you look if necessary, a retreat. for all the world as if you wanted an opportunity of Hard. Your talking of a retreat, Mr. Marlow, puts stealing out of the room.
me in mind of the Duke of Marlborough, when be
rent to besiege Denain. He first summoned the Mar. Well, this is the first time I ever heard of garrison,
an innkeeper's philosophy. [Aside.) Mar. Ay, and we'll summon your garrison, old Hast. So, then, like an experienced general, you boy:
attack them on every quarter. If you find their Hard. He first summoned the garrison, which reason manageable, you attack them with your might consist of about five thousand men
philosophy; if you find that they have no reason, you Hast. Marlow, what's o'clock ?
attack them with this. Here's your health, my Hard. I say, gentlemen, as I was telling you, he philosopher. [Drinks.] summoned the garrison, which might consist of Hard. Good, very good; thank you, ha! ha! Your about five thousand men
generalship puts me in mind of Prince Eugene, when Mar. Five minutes to seven.
he fought the Turks at the battle of Belgrade. You Hard. Which might consist of about five thousand shall hear. men, well appointed with stores, ammunition, and Mar. Instead of the battle of Belgrade, I think it's other implements of war. Now, says the Duke of almost time to talk about supper. What has your Marlborough to George Brooks, that stood next to philosophy got in the house for supper? him-You must have heard of George Brooks—I?1 Hard. Por supper, sir? Was ever such a request pawn my dukedom, says he, but I take that garrison to a man in his own house? [ Aside.] without spilling a drop of blood. So
Mar. Yes, sir, supper sir; I begin to feel an appeMar. What? My good friend, if you give us a tite. I shall make devilish work to-night in the glass of punch in the meantime, it would help us to larder, I promise you. carry on the siege with vigour.
Hard. Such a brazen dog sure never my eyes Hard. Punch, sir !—This is the most unaccount- beheld. (Aside.] Why, really, sir, as for supper, able kind of modesty I ever met with. (Aside.] I can't well tell." My Dorothy and the cookmaid
Mar. Yes, sir, punch. A glass of warm punch settle these things between them I leave these kind after our journey will be comfortable.
of things entirely to them, Enter Servant with a tankard.
Mar. You do, do you? This is Liberty-hall, you know.
Hard. Entirely. "By-the-by, I believe they are in Hard. Here's a cup, sir.
actual consultation upon what's for supper this Mar, So this fellow, in his Liberty-hall, will only moment in the kitchen. let us have just what he pleases. (Aside to Hast.] Mar. Then I beg they'll admit me as one of their
Hard. (Taking the cup.) I hope you'll find it to privy council. It's a way I've got. When I travel, your mind. I have prepared it with my own hands, I always choose to regulate my own supper. Let the and I believe you'll own the ingredients are tolerable. cook be called. No offence, I hope, sir. Will you be so good as to pledge me, sir?. Here, Hard. Oh! no, sir, none in the least: yet, I don't Mr. Marlow, here is to our better acquaintance. know how, our Bridget, the cookmaid, is not very [Drinks, and gives the cup to Marlou.]
communicative upon these occasions. Should we Mar. A very impudent fellow this; but he's a send for her, she might scold us all out of the character, and I'll humour him a little [Aside.] house. Sir, my service to you.
Hast. Let's see the list of the larder then. I Hast. I see this fellow wants to give us his com- always match my appetite to my bill of fare. pany, and forgets that he's an innkeeper, before he Mar.! To HARDCASTLE, who looks at them with surhas learned to be a gentleman. [Aside.)
prise.] Sir, he's very right; and it's my way, too. Mar. From the excellence of your cup, my old Hard. Sir, you have a right to command here. friend, I suppose you have a good deal of business in Here, Roger, bring us the bill of fare for to-night's this part of the country. Warm work, now an supper: I believe it's drawn out. Your manner, Mr. then, at elections, I suppose. [Gives the tankard to Hastings, puts me in mind of my uncle, Colonel HARDCASTLE.]
Wallop. It was a saying of his, that no man was Hard. No, sir, I have long given that work over. j sure of his supper till he had eaten it. [Servant Since our betters have hit upon the expedient of brings in the bill of fare, and erit.] electing each other, there's no business for us that Hast. All upon the high ropes! His uncle a sell ale [Gives the tankard to HASTINGS.)
colonel. We shall soon hear of his mother being a Hast. So, you have no turn for politics, I find. justice of peace. Aside.) But let's hear the bill of fare.
Hard. Not in the least. There was a time, indeed, Mar. (Perusing.) What's here? For the first I fretted myself about the mistakes of government, course ; for the second course; for the dessert.—The like other people; but finding myself every day grow devil, sir! Do you think we have brought down the more angry, and the government growing no better, whole Joiners's Company, or the Corporation of I left it to mend itself. Since that, I no more Bedford, to eat up such a supper? Two or three trouble my head about who's in or who's out, than little things, clean and comfortable, will do. I do about John Nokes or Tom Stiles. So my ser- Hast. But let's hear it. vice to you.
Mar. (Reading.) For the first course; at the Hast. So that, with eating above stairs and top, a pig and prune sauce. drinking below, with receiving your friends within, *Hast. D— your pig, say I. and amusing them without, you lead a good, pleasant, Mar. And - your prune sauce, say I. bustling life of it.
Hard. And yet, gentlemen, to men that are Hard. I do stir about a good deal, that's certain. hungry, pig with prune sauce, is very good eating. Half the differences of the parish are adjusted in this Their impudence confounds me. (Aside.] Genvery parlour.
tlemen, you are my guests, make what alterations Mar (After drinking.) And you have an argu- you please. Is there anything else you wish to ment in your cup, old gentleman, better than any in retrench or alter, gentlemen ? Westminster-hall.
Mar. Item: a pork pie, a boiled rabbit and satHard. Ay, young gentleman, that, and a little sages, a llorentine, a shaking pudding, and a dish of philosophy.
Hast. Confound your made dishes! I shall be as desire. In the meantime, my friend Marlow must much at a loss in this house, as at a green and not be let into his mistake. I know the strange yellow dinner at the French ambassador's table. reserve of his temper is such, that, if abrubtly ini'm for plain eating.
formed of it, he would instantly quit the house, Hard. I'm sorry, gentlemen, that I have nothing before our plan was ripe for execution. you like; but if there be anything you have a par- Miss N. But how shall we keep him in the deticular fancy te
ception ? Miss Hardcastle is just returned from Mar. Why, really, sir, your bill of fare is so ex. walking; what if we persuade him she is come to quisite, that any one part of it is full as good as this house as to an inn? Come this way. (They another. Send us what you please. So much for confer.] supper : and now to see that our beds are aired, and
Enter MARLOW. properly taken care of.
Mar. The assiduities of these good people tease Hard. I intreat you'll leave all that to me. You me beyond bearing. My host seems to think it ill shall not stir a step.
manders to leave me alone, and so he claps, not only Mar. Leave that to you! I protest, sir, you must himself, but his old-fashioned wife upon my back. excuse me, I always look to these things myself. They talk of coming to sup with us, too; and then,
Hard. I must insist, sir, you'll make yourself easy suppose, we are to run the gauntlet through all the on that head.
rest of the family. What have we got here? Mar. You see I'm resolved on it. A very trouble- Hast. My dear Charles, let me congratulate you. some fellow, as ever I met with. [Aside.]
The most fortunate accident! Who do you think Hard. Well, sir, I'm resolved, at least
, to attend has just alighted ? you. This may be modern modesty, but I never
Mar. Cannot guess. saw anything look so like old-fashioned impudence. Hast. Our mistresses, boy! Miss Hardcastle and
| Aside, and exit urth Mar. Miss Neville. Give me leave to introduce Miss Hast. So, I find this fellow's civilities begin to Constance Neville to your acquaintance. Happengrow troublesome. But who can be angry with ing to dine in the neighbourhood, they called on their those assiduities which are meant to please him ? return to take fresh horses here. Miss Hardcastle Ah! what do I see? Miss Neville, by all that's has just stept into the next room, and will be back happy.
in an instant. Wasn't it lucky? eh! Enter Miss NEVILLE.
Mar. I have just been mortified enough of all Miss N. My dear Hastings ! To what unexpected conscience, and here comes something to complete good fortune, to what accident, am I to ascribe this my embarrassment. (Aside.) happy meeting ?
Hast. Well, but wasn't it the most fortunate thing Hist. Rather, let me ask the same question, as I in the world? could never have hoped to meet my dearest Con- Mar. Oh! yes ;-very fortunate ;-a most joyful stance at an inn.
encounter. But our dresses, George, you know, are Miss N. An inn! you mistake : my aunt, my in disorder. What if we postpone the bappiness guardian, lives here.' What could induce you to till to-morrow? To-morrow, at her own house: it think this house an inn?
will be every bit as convenient, and rather more Hast. My friend, Mr. Marlow, with whom I came respectful. To-morrow let it be. Offering to go.] down, and I, have been sent here as to an inn, I Miss N. By no means, sir. Your ceremony will assure you. A young fellow, whom we accidentally displease her. The disorder of your dress will shew met at a house hard by, directed us hither.
the ardour of your impatience. Besides, she knows Miss N. Certainly it must be one of my hopeful you are in the house, and will permit you to see her. cousin's tricks, of whom you have heard me talk so Mar. Oh! the devil! How shall I support it? often. Ha, ha, ha!
Hem, hem! Hastings, you must not go. You are Hast. He whom your aunt intends for you? He to assist me, you know. I shall be confoundedly of whom I have such just apprehensions ?
ridiculous. Yet, hang it! I'll take courage. Hem! Miss N. You have nothing to fear from him, 1 (Aside to Hast.] assure you. You'd adore him, if you knew how Hast. Psha, man! 'tis put the first plunge, and heartily he despises me. My aunt knows it too, and all's over. She's but a woman, you know. (Aside to has undertaken to court me for him, and actually Mar.j begins to think she has made a conquest.
Mar. And of all women, she that I dread most to Hast. Thou dear dissembler! You must know, my encounter! Constance, I have just seized this happy opportunity Enter Miss HARDCASTLE, as returned from walking. of my friend's visit here, to get admittance into the Hast. (Introducing them.) Miss Hardcastle, Mr. family. The horses that carried us down are now Marlow. I'm proud of bringing two persons togefatigued with the journey, but they'll soon be re-ther, who only want to know, to esteem each other. freshed; and then, if my dearest girl will trust in her Miss H. (Aside.] Now, for meeting my modest faithful Hastings, we shall soon be landed in France, gentleman with a demure face, and quite in his own where, even among slaves, the laws of marriage are manner. (After a pause, in which he appears very respected.
uneasy and disconcerted.). I'm glad of your safe arMiss N. I have often told you, that though ready rival, sir, I'm told you had some accidents by the to obey you, I yet should leave my little fortune be- way. hind with reluctance. The greatest part of it was Mar. Only a few, madam. Yes, we had some. left me by my uncle, the India Director, and chiefly Yes, madam, a good many accidents, but should be consists in jewels
. I have been for some time per- sorry, madam-or, rather, glad of any accidents suading my aunt to let me wear them. I fancy I'm that are so agreeably concluded. Hem! very near succeeding. The instant they are put in Hast. (Aside to Mar.) You never spoke better in my possession, you shall find me ready to make them your whole life. Keep it up, and l’u insure you the and myself your's.
victory. Hasi. Perish the baubles! Your person is all Il Mis H. I'm afraid you datter sir. You that
have seen so much of the finest company, can find Miss H. I protest, sir, I never was more agreeably little entertainment in an obscure corner of the entertained in all my life. Pray, go on. country,
Mar. Yes, madam. I was-but she beckons us Mar. (Gathering courage.] I have lived, indeed, to join her. 'Madam, shall I do myself the honour in the world, madam; but I have kept very little to attend you. company. I have been but an observer upon life, Miss H. Well, then, I'll follow. madam, while others were enjoying it.
Mar. (Aside.) This pretty smooth dialogue has Miss H. An obserter, like you, upon life, was, I done for me.
(Erit. fear, disagreeably employed, since you must have Miss H. Ha, ha, ha! Was there ever such a sober, had much more to censure than to approve.
sentimental interview? I'm certain he scarce looked Mar. Pardon me, madam: I was always willing me in my face the whole time. Yet the fellow, but to be amused. The folly of most people is rather an for his unaccountable bashfulness, is pretty well too. object of my mirth than uneasiness.
He has good sense, but then so buried in his fears, Hast
. [Aside to Mar.) Bravo, bravo! Never that it fatigues one more than ignorance. If I could spoke so well in your whole life. Well
, Miss Hard. teach him a little confidence, it would be doing somecastle, I see that you and Mr. Marlow are going to body that I know of, a piece of service. But who is be very good company. I believe our being here that somebody ?-that, faith, is a question I can will but embarrass the interview.
(Exit. Mar. Not in the least, Mr. Hastings. We like Enter Tony and Miss Neville, followed by Mrs. your company of all things. [ Aside to Hast.]
HARDCASTLE and HASTINGS. Zounds! George, sure you won't go. How can you Tony. What do you follow me for, cousin Con? I leare us?
wonder you're not ashamed to be so very engaging. Hast. Our presence will but spoil conversation, Miss N. I hope, cousin, one may speak to one's so we'll retire to the next room. [Aside to Mar.1 own relations, and not be to blame. You don't consider, man, that we are to manage a Tony. Ay, but I know what sort of a relation you little tête-à-tête of our own (E.rit with Miss N. want to make me, though; but it won't do. I tell
Miss H. (After a pause.) But you have not been you, cousin Con, it won't do; so I beg you'll keep wholly an observer, I presume, sir. The ladies, I your distance; I want no nearer rela:ionship. [She hope, have employed some part of your addresses. follows, coquetting him to the back scene.]
Mar. (Relapsing into timidity.) Pardon me, madam, Mrs. H. Well, I vow, Mr. Hastings, you are very 1-1-1-as yet have studied-only--to—deserve entertaining. There's nothing in the world I love to them.
talk of so much as London, and the fashions, though Miss H. And that, some say, is the very worst way I was never there myself. to obtain them.
Hast. Never there! you amaze me! froin your Mar. Perhaps so, madam: but I love to converse air and manner, I concluded you had been bred all only with the more grave and sensible part of the your life either at Ranelagh, St. James's, or Tower. sex. But I'm afraid I grow tiresome.
wharf. Miss H. Not at all, sir; there is nothing I like so Mrs. H. Oh! sir, you're only pleased to say so. much as grave conversation myself: I could hear it We country persons can have no manner at all. I'm for ever. Indeed, I have often been surprised how a in love with the town, and that serves to raise me man of sentiment could ever admire those light, airy above some of our neighbouring rustics ; but who pleasures, where nothing reaches the heart.
can have a manner that has never seen the Pan. Mar. It's a disease of the mind, madam.. In theon, the Grotto Gardens, the Borough, and such variety of tastes, there must be some who wanting a places where the nobility chiefly resort; all I can relish for-um-a-um.
do, is to enjoy London at second-hand. I take care Miss H. I understand you, sir. There must be to know every tête-à-tête from the Scandalous Magasome who, wanting a relish for refined pleasures, zine, and have all the fashions as they come out, in pretend to despise what they are incapable of tasting a letter from the two Miss Rickets, of Crooked-lane.
Mar. My meaning, madam; but infinitely better Pray, how do you like this head ? expressed. And I can't help observing, that in this Hast. Extremely elegant and degagée, upon my age of hypocrisy-a
word. Your friseur is a Frenchman, I suppose. Miss H. Who could ever suppose this fellow impu- Mss. H. I protest I dressed it myself from a print dent on some occasions?. [Aside.] You were going in the Ladies' Memorandum-book for the last year. to observe, sir
Hast. Indeed! such a head in a side-box at the Mar. I was observing, madam-I protest, madam, play-house, would draw as many gazers as my lady I forget what I was going to observe.
mayoress at a city-ball. Mhes H. I vow, and so do I. (Aside.] You were ob- Mrs. H. One must dress a little particular, or one serving, sir, that in this age of hypocrisy,-some- may escape in the crowd. thing about hypocrisy, sir.
Hast. But that can never be your case, madam, Mar. Yes, madam; in this age of hypocrisy, there in any dress. [Bouing.) are few who, upon strict inquiry, do not-a-am Mrs. H. Yet, what signifies my dressing, when I Miss H. I understand you perfectly, sir.
have such a piece of antiquity by my side as Mr. Mar. (Aside.] Egad! and that's more than I do Hardcastle ? All I can say will not argue down a myself.
single button from his clothes. I have often wanted Miss H. You mean that, in this hypocritical age, him to throw off his great flaxen wig, and where he there are few that do not condemn in public, what was bald, to plaster it over, like my Lord Pately, they practise in private, and think they pay every with powder. debt to virtue when they praise it.
Hast. You are right, madam ; for, as among the Mar. True, madam ; those who have most virtue ladies there are none ugly, so among the men there in their inouths, have least of it in their bosoms. are none old. But I see Miss Neville expecting us in the next Mrs. H. But what do you think his answer was ? room. I would not intrude for the world.
Why, with his usual gothic vivacity, he said, I only
wanted him to throw off his wig, to convert it into a my love. You see, Mr. Hastings, the wretchedness tête for my own wearing.
of my situation : was ever poor woman so plagued Hast. Intolerable ! at your age you may wear with a dear, sweet, pretty, provoking, undutiful boy! what you please, and it must become you.
[Exit with Miss N. Mrs. H. Pray, Mr. Hastings, what do you take to Tony. (Singing.] be the most fashionable age about town?
“There was a young man riding by, Hast. Some time ago, forty was all the mode; but And fain would have his will. I'm told, the ladies intend to bring up fifty for the
Rang do dillo dee.” ensuing winter.
Don't mind her. Let her cry. It's the comfort of Mrs. H. Seriously? Then I shall be too young for her heart. I have seen her and sister cry over a the fashion.
book for an hour together, and they said they liked Hast. No lady begins now to put on jewels till the book the better, the more it made them cry. she's past forty. For instance, miss there, in a po- Hast. Then you're no friend to the ladies, I find, lite circle, would be considered as a child, a mere my pretty young gentleman ? maker of samplers.
Tony. That's as I find 'em. Mrs. H. And yet, Mrs. Niece thinks herself as Hast. Not to her of your mother's choosing, I much a woman, and is as fond of jewels, as the oldest dare answer. And yet, she appears to me a pretty, of us all.
well-tempered girl. Hast. Your niece, is she? And that young gen- Tony. That's because you don't know her as well tleman, a brother of your's, I should presume ? as I. Ecod! I know every inch about her; and
Mrs. H. My son, sir. They are contracted to each there's not a more bitter, cantankerous toad in ail other. Observe their little sports. They fall in and Christendom. out ten times a day, as if they were man and wife Hast. Pretty encouragement for a lover! (Aside.] already. (To them.] Well, Tony, child, what soft Tony. I have seen her since the height of that. things are you saying to your cousin Constance, this She has as many tricks as a hare in a thicket, or a evening ?
colt the first day's breaking. Tony. I have been saying no soft things; but, Hast. To me she appears sensible and silent. that it's very hard to be followed about so. Ecod!
Tony. Ay, before company. But when she’s with I've not a place in the house that's left to myself her playmates, she's as loud as a hog in a gate. but the stable
Hast. But there is a meek modesty about her that Mrs. H. Never mind him, Con., my dear. He's charms me. in another story behind your back.
Tony. Yes, but curb her never so little, she kicks Miss N. There's something generous in my up, and you're flung in the ditch. cousin's manner. He falls out before faces, to be Hast. Well, but you must allow her a little forgiven in private.
beauty-yes, you must allow her some beauty, Tony. That's a d-d confounded-crack.
Tony. Bandbox! she's all a made-up thing, mun. Mrs. H. Ah! he's a sly one. Don't you think Ab! could you but see Bet Bouncer of these parts, they're like each other about the mouth, Mr. Hast- you might then talk of beauty. Ecod! she has two inys ? The Blenkinsop mouth to a T. They're of eyes as black as sloes, and cheeks as broad and red a size, too. Back to back, my pretties, that Mr. as a pulpit cushion. She'd make two of she. Hastings may see you.
Hast. Well, what say you to a friend that would Tony. You had as good not make me, I tell you. take this bitter bargain off your hands ? Miss N. Oh, lud! he has almost cracked my head. Tony. Anan? Mrs. H. Oh! the monster! for shame, Tony! Hast. Would you thank him that would take Miss You a man, and behave so!
Neville, and leave you to happiness and your dear Tony. If I'm a man, let me have my fortin. Betsy? Ecod! I'll not be made a fool of any longer.
Tony. Ay; but where is there such a friend ? for Mrs. H. Is this, ungrateful boy ! all that I'm to who would take her? pet for the pains I have taken in your education ? I, Hast. I am he. If you but assist me, I'll engage that have rocked you in your cradle, and fed that to whip her off to France, and you shall never hear pretty mouth with a spoon! Did not I work that more of her. waistcoat to make you look genteel ?
Tony. Assist you! Ecod! I will to the last drop Tony. But, ecod"! I tell you I'll not be made a of my blood. I'll clap a pair of horses to your fool of no longer.
chaise, that shall trundle you off in a twinkling; Mrs. H. Wasn't it all for your good, viper? Wasn't and, may be, get you a part of her fortin beside, in it ail for your good ?
jewels, that you little dream of. Tony. I wish you'd let me and my good alone,
Hust. My dear squire, this looks like a lad of then. Snubbing this way, when I'm in spirits. If
spirit I'm to have any good, let it come of itself; not to Tony. Come along, then, and you shall see more keep dinging it, dinging it into one so.
of my spirit before you have done with me. (Singing.) Mrs. #. That's false; I never see you when you're “ We are the boys that fear no noise," &c. [Exeunt. in spirits. No, Tony, you then go to the alehouse or kennel, I'm never to be delighted with your agreeable wild notes, unfeeling monster! Tony. Ecod ? mamma, your own notes are the
ACT III. wildest of the two. Mrs. H. Was ever the like? But I see he wants
SCENE I.-The same. to break my heart, I see he does. Hast. Dear madam, permit me to lecture the
Enter HARDCASTLE. young gentleman a little. I'm certain I can per Hard. What could my old friend, Sir Charles, suade him to his duty
mean by recommending his son as the modestes! Mrs. H. Well, I must retire. Come, Constance young man in town. To me he appears the most