or scruple. But I'll away, for 'tis a pleasure to be a messenger of comfort to friends in affliction. to make one this evening, with Polly, me, and Bob Booty, at a party at quadrille. Pray, my dear, is the Captain rich? Peach. The Captain keeps too good company ever to grow rich. Marybone and the chocolatehouses are his undoing. The man that purposes to get money by play, should have the education of a fine gentleman, and be trained up to it from his youth. Peach. Upon Polly's account! what a plague doth the woman mean?-Upon Polly's account! Mrs. P. Captain Macheath is very fond of the girl. Peach. And what then? [Erit. Peach. But it is now high time to look about me for a decent execution against next sessions. I hate a lazy rogue, by whom one can get nothing till he is hanged. A register of the gang. [Reading.] "Crook-finger'd Jack-a year and a half in the service"-let me see how much the stock owes to his industry one, two, three, four, five gold Mrs. P. Really, I am sorry, upon Polly's acwatches, and seven silver ones. A mighty clean-count, the Captain hath not more discretion. What handed fellow! Sixteen snuff-boxes, five of them business hath he to keep company with lords and true gold; six dozen of handkerchiefs, four silver- gentlemen? he should leave them to prey upon one hilted swords, half a dozen of shirts, three tie peri- another. wigs, and a piece of broadcloth. Considering these are only the fruits of his leisure hours, I don't know a prettier fellow for no man alive hath a more engaging presence of mind upon the road." Wat Dreary, alias Brown Will"-an irregular dog, who hath an underhand way of disposing of his goods; I'll try him only for a session or two longer, upon his good behaviour.-" Harry Paddington"- -a poor petty larceny rascal, without the least genius! That fellow, though he were to live these six months, will never come to the gallows with any credit.-" Slippery Sam"-he goes off the next session; for the villain hath the impudence to have views of following his trade as a tailor, which he calls an honest employment.-"Mat-o'-the-Mint"-listed not above a month ago; a promising, sturdy fellow, and dili- Peach. Lookye, wife, a handsome wench, in our gent in his way; somewhat too bold and hasty, and way of business, is as profitable as at the bar of a may raise good contributions on the public, if he Temple coffee-house, who looks upon it as her livelidoes not cut himself short by murder." Tom Tip-hood, to grant every liberty but one. My daughter ple"-a guzzling soaking sot, who is always too drunk to stand himself, or to make others stand; a cart is absolutely necessary for him." Robin of Bagshot, alias Gordon, alias Bluff Bob, alias Carbuncle, alias Bob Booty" Enter Mrs. PEACHUM. Mrs. P. What of Bob Booty, husband? I hope nothing bad hath betided him. You know, my dear, he's a favourite customer of mine-'twas he made me a present of this ring. Peach. I have set his name down in the black list, that's all, my dear; he spends his life among women, and as soon as his money is gone, one or other of the ladies will hang him for the reward, and there's forty pounds lost to us for ever! Mrs. P. If I have any skill in the ways of women, I am sure Polly thinks him a very pretty man. Peach. And what then? you would not be so mad as to have the wench marry him! Gamesters and highwaymen are, generally, very good to their mistresses, but they are the very devils to their wives. Mrs. P. But if Polly should be in love, how should we help her, or how can she help herself ?— Poor girl! I am in the utmost concern about her. to me should be like a court lady to a minister of state, a key to the whole gang. Married! if the affair is not already done, I'll terrify her from it, by the example of our neighbours. Mrs. P. Mayhap, my dear, you may injure the poor girl: she loves to imitate the fine ladies, and she may only allow the Captain liberties, in the view of interest. Peach. But 'tis your duty, my dear, to warn the girl against her ruin; and to instruct her how to make the most of her beauty. I'll go to her this moment, and sift her. In the meantime, wife, rip out the coronets and marks of these dozen of cambric handkerchiefs; for I can dispose of them, this afternoon, to a chap in the city. Erit. Mrs. P. You know, my dear, I never meddle in Mrs. P. Never was a man more out of the way matters of death; always leave those affairs to in an argument than my husband. Why must our you. Women, indeed, are bitter bad judges in Polly, forsooth differ from her sex, and love only these cases; for they are so partial to the brave, her husband? and why must Polly's marriage, that they think every man handsome, who is going contrary to all observation, make her the less folto the camp or the gallows. But really, husband, lowed by other men? All men are thieves in love, you should not be too hard-hearted, for you never and like a woman the better for being another's had a finer, braver set of men than at present. We property. have not had a murder among them all these seven months: and truly, my dear, that is a great blessing. Peach. What a dickens is the woman always whimpering about murder for ! No gentleman is ever looked upon the worse for killing a man in his own defence; and if business cannot be carried on without it, what would you have a gentleman do? So, my dear, have done upon his subject. Was Captain Macheath here, this morning, for the banknotes he left with you last week? Mrs. P. Yes, my dear; and though the bank hath stopped payment, he was so cheerful, and so agreeable! Sure, there is not a finer gentleman upon the road than the Captain! If he comes from Bagshot at any reasonable hour, he hath promised Enter FILCH. Mrs. P. Come hither, Filch: I am as fond of this child, as though my mind misgave me he were my own. He hath as fine a hand at picking a pocket as a woman, and is as nimble-fingered as a juggler. If an unlucky session does not cut the rope of thy life, I pronounce, boy, thou wilt be a great man in history. Where was your post last night, my boy? Filch I plied at the opera, madam; and, considering 'twas neither dark nor rainy, so that there was no great hurry in getting chairs and coaches, made a tolerable hand on't. These seven handkerchiefs, madam. [Taking them from different parts of his dress.] They are of sur● Mrs. P. Coloured ones, I see sale from our warehouse at Redriff, among the For she must have both hoods and gowns, and hoops, to swell her pride, seamen. Filch. And this snuff-box. Mrs. P. Set in gold! A pretty encouragement this to a young beginner! Filch. I had a fair tug at a charming gold watch. Plague take the tailors, for making the fobs so deep and narrow! it stuck by the way, and I was forced to make my escape under a coach. Really, madam, I fear I shall be cut off in the flower of my youth, so that every now and then, since I was pumped, I have thoughts of taking up and going to sea. Mrs. P. You should go to Hockley-in-the-Hole, and to Marybone, child, to learn valour; these are the schools that have bred so many brave men. I thought, boy, by this time, thou hadst lost fear as well as shame. Poor lad! how little does he know yet of the Old Bailey! For the first fact, I'll insure thee from being hanged: and going to sea, Filch, will come time enough upon a sentence of transportation. But, hark you, my lad,-don't tell me a lie; for you know I hate a liar:-do you know of any thing that hath passed between Captain Macheath and our Polly? Filch. I beg you, madam, don't ask me; for I must either tell a lie to you, or to Miss Polly; for promised her I would not tell. I Mrs. P. But, when the honour of our family is concerned Filch. I shall lead a sad life with Miss Polly, if ever she comes to know I told you. Besides, I would not willingly forfeit my own honour, by betraying anybody. Mrs. P. Yonder comes my husband and Polly. Come, Filch, you shall go with me into my own room, and tell me the whole story. I'll give thee a glass of a most delicious cordial, that I keep for my own drinking. [Exeunt. too. Enter PEACHUM and POLLY. Polly. I know as well as any of the fine ladies how to make the most of myself, and of my man A woman knows how to be mercenary, though she hath never been in a court, or at an assembly. We have it in our natures, papa. If I allow Captain Macheath some trifling liberties, I have this watch, and other visible marks of his favour, to show for it. A girl who cannot grant some things, and refuse what is most material, will make but a poor hand of her beauty, and soon be thrown upon the common. AIR.-POLLY. Virgins are like the fair flow'r in its lustre, But when once pluck'd 'tis no longer alluring, Rots, stinks, and dies, and is trod under feet. Peach. You know, Polly, I am not against your toying and trifling with a customer, in the way of ousiness, or to get out a secret or so; but if I find out that you have played the fool, and are married, you iade you! I'll cut your throat, hussy. Now you know my mind. Enter Mrs. PEACHUM, in a passion. Our Polly is a sad slut! nor heeds what we have taught her, I wonder any man alive will ever rear a daughter! With scarves and stays, and gloves and lace, and she will have men beside; And when she's dress'd with care and cost, all tempting, fine, and gay, As men should serve a cucumber, she flings herself away. You baggage! you hussy! you inconsiderate jade! had you been hanged, it would not have vexed me; for that might have been your misfortune; but to do such a mad thing by choice!The wench is married, husband. Peach. Married! the Captain is a bold man, and will risk anything for money: to be sure, he believes her a fortune. Do you think your mother and I should have lived comfortably so long together, if ever we had been married, baggage? Mrs. P. I knew she was always a proud slut; and now the wench hath played the fool and married because, forsooth, she would do like the gentry! Can you support the expense of a husband, hussy, in gaming and drinking? Have you money enough to carry on the daily quarrels of man and wife about who shall squander most? If you must be married, could you introduce nobody into our family but a be as ill-used, and as much neglected, as if thou highwayman? Why, you foolish jade! thou wilt hadst married a lord! Peach. Let not your anger, my dear, break through the rules of decency; for the Captain looks upon himself, in the military capacity, as a gentleman by his profession. Besides what he hath already, I know he is in a fair way of getting or of dying; and both these ways, let me tell you, are most excellent chances for a wife. Tell me, hussy! are you ruined or no? Mrs. P. With Polly's fortune, she might very well have gone off to a person of distinction: yes, that you might, you pouting slut! Peach. What is the wench dumb? Speak, or I'll make you plead by squeezing out an answer from you. Are you really bound wife to him, or are you only upon liking? [Pinching her.] Polly. Oh! Mrs. P. How the mother is to be pitied who hath handsome daughters! Locks, bolts, bars, and lectures of morality, are nothing to them: they break through them all; they have as much pleasure in cheating a father and mother, as in cheating at cards. Peach. Why, Polly, I shall soon know if you are married, by Macheath's keeping from our house. AIR.-POLLY. Can love be controll'd by advice? To marry, for fear you should chide. Mrs. P. Then all the hopes of our family are gone for ever and ever! Peach. And Macheath may hang his father and mother in-law, in hopes to get into their daughter's fortune. coolly and deliberately, for honour or money-but I Polly. I did not marry him (as 'tis the fashion), love him. Mrs. P. Love him! worse and worse! I thought the girl had been better bred. Oh, husband! hus- Polly. Give her another glass, sir; my mamma drinks double the quantity whenever she is in this way. This, you see, fetches her. [PEACHUM fills the glass. Mrs. P. The girl shows such readiness, and so much concern, that I almost could find in my heart to forgive her. [Drinks again.] DUET.-Mrs. PEACHUM and POLLY. Polly. And he so pleased me, What I did, you must have done. Mrs. P. Not with a highwayman, you sorry slut. Peach. A word with you, wife. 'Tis no new thing for a wench to take a man without consent of parents. You know 'tis the frailty of woman, my dear. Mrs. P. Yes, indeed, the sex is frail; but the first time a woman is frail, she should be somewhat nice methinks, for then or never is the time to make her fortune: after that she hath nothing to do but to guard herself from being found out, and she may do what she pleases. Peach. Make yourself a little easy; I have a thought shall soon set all matters again to rights. Why so melancholy, Polly? since what is done cannot be undone, we must endeavour to make the best of it. Mrs. P. Well, Polly, as far as one woman can forgive another, I forgive thee.-Your father is too fond of you, hussy. Polly. Then all my sorrows are at an end. Ms. P. If she had had only an intrigue with the fellow, why the very best families have excused and huddled up a frailty of that sort. 'Tis marriage, husband, that makes it a blemish. Peach. But money, wife, is the true fuller's-carth for reputations; there is not a spot or stain but what it can take out. I tell you, wife, I can make this match turn to our advantage. Mrs. P. I am very sensible, husband, that Captain Macheath is worth money, but I am in doubt whether he hath not two or three wives already; and then, if he should die in a session or two, Polly's dower would come into dispute. Peach. That, indeed, is a point which ought to be considered. The lawyers are bitter enemies to those in our way; they don't care that anybody should get a clandestine livelihood but themselves." Enter POLLY. Polly. 'Twas only Nimming Ned: he brought in a damask window-curtain, a hoop-petticoat, a pair of silver candlesticks, a perriwig; and one silk stocking, from the fire that happened last night. Peach. There is not a fellow that is cleverer in his way, and saves more goods out of the fire, than Ned. But now, Polly, to your affair; for matters must not be as they are. You are married then, it Peach. And had not you the common views of a gentlewoman in your marriage, Polly? Polly. I don't know what you mean, Peach. Of a jointure, and of being a widow. Polly. But I love him, sir: how then could I have thoughts of parting with him? scheme and intention of all marriage articles. The Peach. Parting with him! why that is the whole comfortable state of widowhood is the only hope that keeps up a wife's spirits. Where is the woman Mrs. P. A mighty likely speech, in troth, for a who would scruple to be a wife, if she had it in her wench who is just married! AIR.-POLLY. I like a ship in storms was toss'd, Yet afraid to put into land, For seiz'd in the port, the vessel's lost The waves are laid, My duty's paid; O joy beyond expression! I ask no more; My all's in my possession. Peach. I hear customers in t'other room. Go talk with them, Polly; but come again as soon as they are gone.-But harkye, child! if 'tis the gentleman who was here yesterday about the repeating watch, say you can't get intelligence of it till tomorrow, for I lent it to Sukey Straddle to make a figure with to-night at the tavern in Drury-lane. If t'other gentleman calls for the silver-hilted sword, you know Beetle-browed Jemmy hath it on, and he doth not come from Tunbridge till Tuesday night, so that it cannot be had till then. [Erit PoLLY.Dear wife, be a little pacified; don't let your pas sion run away with your senses: Polly, I grant you, hath done a rash thing. power to be a widow whenever she pleased? If you have any views of this sort, Polly, I shall think the match not so very unreasonable. Polly. How I dread to hear your advice! yet I must beg you to explain yourself. Peach. Secure what he hath got; have him peached the next sessions, and then at once you are made a rich widow. Polly. What! murder the man I love! the blood runs cold at my heart at the very thought of it! Peach. Fie, Polly! what hath murder to do in the affair? Since the thing sooner or later must happen, I dare say that the Captain himself would like that we should get the reward for his death sooner than a stranger. Why, Polly, the Captain knows that as 'tis his employment to rob, so 'tis our's to take robbers Every man in his business: so that there is no malice in the case. Mrs. P. To have him 'peached is the only thing could ever make me forgive her. AIR.-POLLY. Oh ponder well! be not severe; Mrs. P. But your duty to your parents, hussy, obliges you to hang him. What would many a wife give for such an opportunity! Polly. What is a jointure, what is widowhood, to me? I know my heart; I cannot survive him. Thus, sir, it will happen to your poor Polly. Mrs. P. What! is the fool in love in earnest then? I hate thee for being particular. Why, wench, thou art a shame to thy very sex. Polly. But hear me, mother-if you ever lovedMrs. P. Those cursed play-books she reads have been her ruin! One word more, hussy, and I shall knock your brains out, if you have any. Peach. Keep out of the way, Polly, for fear of mischief; and consider of what is proposed to you. Mrs. P. Away, hussy! Hang your husband, and be dutiful.-[Exit POLLY.-The thing, husband, must and shall be done. If she will not know her duty, we know ours. Peach. But really, my dear, it grieves one's heart to take off a great man. When I consider his personal bravery, his fine stratagems, how much we have already got by him, and how much more we may get, methinks I can't find in my heart to have a hand in his death: I wish you could have made Polly undertake it. Mrs. P. But in case of necessity-our own lives are in danger. Peach. Then, indeed, we must comply with the customs of the world, and make gratitude give way to interest: he shall be taken off. Mrs. P. I'll undertake to manage Polly. Peach. And I'll prepare matters for the Old Bailey. [Exeunt. Enter POLLY. Polly. Now I'm a wretch indeed!-Methinks I see him already in the cart, sweeter and more lovely than the nosegay in his hand! I hear the crowd extolling his resolution and intrepidity!—I see him at the tree! the whole circle are in tears! What then will become of Polly? As yet I may inform him of their designs, and aid him in his escape.-It shall be so. But then he flies, absents himself, and I bar myself from his dear, dear conversation! that too will distract me. If he keeps out of the way, my papa and mamma may in time relent, and we may be happy.—If he stays he is hanged, and then he is lost for ever! He intended to lie concealed in my room till the dusk of the evening. If they are abroad, I'll this instant let him out, lest some accident should prevent him. [Knocks. you; for I find, in the romance you lent me, none of the great heroes were false in love. AIR.-MACHEATH. It roved like the bee, I changed every hour, But here ev'ry flow'r is united. Polly. Were you sentenced to transportation, sure, my dear, you could not leave me behind youcould you ? Mac. Is there any power, any force, that could tear me from thee? You might sooner tear a pen. sion out of the hands of a courtier, a fee from a lawyer, a pretty woman from a looking-glass, or any woman from quadrille-but to tear me from thee is impossible! DUET.-MACHEATH and POLLY. Mac. Were I laid on Greenland's coast, And in my arms embrac'd my lass, Warm amidst eternal frost, Too soon the half-year's night would pass. Polly. Were I sold on Indian soil, Soon as the burning day was clos'd, When on my charmer's breast repos'd. Polly. Yes, I would go with thee. But oh!how shall speak it? I must be torn from thee! We must part! Mac. How! part? Polly. We must, we must! My papa and mamma are set against thy life. They now, even now, are in search after thee: they are preparing evidence against thee; thy life depends upon a moment! Mac. My hand, my heart, my dear, are so rivetted to thine, that I cannot unloose my hold! Polly. But my papa may intercept thee, and then I should lose the very glimmering of hope. A few weeks, perhaps, may reconcile us all. Shall thy Polly hear from thee? Mac. Must I then go? Polly. And will not absence change your love? Mac. If you doubt it, let me stay, and be hanged. Polly. Oh, how I fear! how I tremble! Go; but, when safety will give you leave, you will be sure to see me again; for, till then, Polly is wretched. DUET.-MACHEATH and POLLY. Mac. The miser thus a shilling sees, Which he's obliged to pay; With sighs resigns it by degrees, And fears 'tis gone for aye. Polly. The boy thus, when his sparrow's flown, But soon as out of sight 'tis gone, [Exeunt. ACT II. SCENE I-A Tavern near Newgate. JEMMY TWTCHER, CROOK-FINGERED JACK, WAT Ben. But pr'ythee, Mat, what is become of thy brother Tom? I have not seen him since my return from transportation. Mat. Poor brother Tom had an accident, this time twelvemonth, and so clever a made fellow he was, I could not save him from those stealing rascais, the surgeons; and now, poor man, he is among the otamies, at Surgeon's-hall, Mat. We have all been witnesses of it. Mac. In the division of our booty, have I ever shewn the least marks of avarice or injustice? Mat. By these questions, something seems to have ruffled you. Are any of us suspected? Mac. I have a fixed confidence, gentlemen, in you all, as men of honour, and as such I value and respect you. Peachum is a man that is useful to us. Mac. I beg you, gentlemen, act with conduct and discretion. A pistol is your last resort. Mat. He knows nothing of this meeting. Mac. Business cannot go on without him: he is a man who knows the world, and is a necessary Ben. So, it seems, his time was come. agent to us. We have had a slight difference; and Jemmy. But the present time is our's, and no- till it is accommodated, I shall be obliged to keep body alive hath more. Why are the laws levelled out of his way. Any private dispute of mine shall at us? Are we more dishonest than the rest of man-be of no ill consequence to my friends. You must kind? What we win, gentlemen, is our own, by the law of arms, and the right of conquest. Jack. Where shall we find such another set of practical philosophers; who, to a man, are above the fear of death? Wat. Sound men and true! continue to act under his direction; for the moment we break loose from him, our gang is ruined. Mat. He is, to us, of great convenience. Mac. Make him believe I have quitted the gang. All. How? Mac. Which I never can do but with life. At Robin. Of tried courage, and indefatigable in- our private quarters I will continue to meet you. A dustry! Ned. Who is there here that would not die for his friend? Harry. Who is there here that would betray him for his interest? Mat. Show me a gang of courtiers that can say as much. [All laugh.] Ben. We are for a just partition of the world, for every man has a right to enjoy life. A co Mat. We retrench the superfluities of mankind. The world is avaricious, and I hate avarice. vetous fellow, like a jackdaw, steals what he was never made to enjoy, for the sake of hiding it. These are the robbers of mankind; for money was made for the free-hearted and generous: and where is the injury of taking from another what he hath not the heart to make use of? [All laugh.] Jemmy. Our several stations for the day are fixed. Good luck attend us all! Fill the glasses. AIR.-MAT. Fill ev'ry glass, for wine inspires us, And tires us, With courage, love, and joy, Women and wine should life employ; Is there aught else on earth desirous ? Chorus. Fill ev'ry glass, &c. Enter MACHeath. Mac. Gentlemen, well met: my heart hath been with you this hour, but an unexpected affair hath detained me. No ceremony, I beg you. Mat. We were just breaking up, to go upon duty. Am I to have the honour of taking the air with you, sir, this evening upon the heath? I drink a dram, now and then, with the stage-coachmen, in the way of friendship and intelligence; and I know that, about this time, there will be passengers upon the western road, who are worth speaking with. Mac. I was to have been of that party; but- Mac. Is there any one that suspects my courage? week, or so, will probably reconcile us. Mat. Your instructions shall be observed. "Tis now high time for us to repair to our several duties; so, till the evening, at our quarters, in Moorfields, we bid you farewell. tend Mac. I shall wish myself with you. Success at. Hark! I hear the sound of coaches, Let the chemists toil like asses, And turns all our lead to gold. [The Gang, ranged in front of the stage, loaa their pistols, and stick them under their girdles, then go off, singing the first part in chorus. Mac. What a fool is a fond wench; Polly is most confoundedly bit. I love the sex; and a man who loves money might as well be contented with one guinea, as I with one woman. The town, perhaps, hath been as much obliged to me for recruiting it with free-hearted ladies, as to any recruiting officer in the army. If it were not for us, and the other gentlemen of the sword, Drury-lane would be uninhabited. AIR.-MACHEATH. If the heart of a man is depress'd with cares, Dissolve us in pleasure and soft repose. |