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Sack. Pish! that's preferable to half-pay: a wo
Sack. That's fair, 'faith! man's resolution may break before the peace : push Free. If it depended upon knight-errantry, I should her home, Colonel, there's no parleying with the not doubt your setting free the damsel; but to have fair sex.
avarice, impertinence, hypocrisy, and pride, at once Col. F. Were the lady her own mistress, I have to deal with, requires more cunning than generally some reasons to believe I should soon command in attends a man of honour. chief.
Col. F. My fancy tells me I shall come off with Free. You know Miss Lovely, Mr. Sackbut ? glory : I resolve to try, however. Do you know all
Sack. Know her! ay, poor Nancy! I have car- the guardians, Mr. Sackbut ? ried her to school many a frosty morning. Alas! if Sack. Very well; they all use my house. she's the woman, I pity you, Colonel; her father, Col. F. And will you assist me, if occasion re my old master, was the most whimsical, out-of-the-quires ? way-tempered man, I ever heard of,--as you will Sack. In every thing I can, Colonel. guess by his last will and testament. This was his Free. I'll answer for him. only child; and I have heard him wish her dead a Col. F. First, I'll attack my beau guardian: where thousand times. He died worth thirty thousand lives he ? pounds, which he left to his daughter, provided she Sack. 'Faith, somewhere about St. James's; though, married with the consent of her guardians; but to say in what street, I cannot; but any chairman that she might be sure never to do so, he left her will tell where Sir Philip Modelove lives. in the care of four men, as opposite to each other as Free. Oh! you'll find him in the Park at eleven the four elements ; each has his quarterly rule, and every day; at least, I never pass through at that three months in the year she is obliged to be subject hour without seeing him there. But what do you in. to each of their humours; and they are pretty dif- tend ? ferent, I assure you. She is just come from Bath. Col. F. To address him in his own way, and find Col. F. "Twas there I saw her.
what he designs to do with the lady. Sack. Ay, sir; the last quarter was her beau Free. And what then ? guardian's. She appears in all public places during Col. F. Nay, that I can't tell; but I shall take my his reign.
measures accordingly. Col. F. She visited a lady, who boarded in the Sack. Well, 'tis a mad undertaking, in my mind; same house with me; I liked her person, and found but here's to your success, Colonel. (Drinks. an opportunity to tell her so. She replied, she had Col. F. 'Tis something out of the way, I confess; no objection to minc; but if I could not reconcile but fortune may chance to smile, and I succeed. contradictions, I must not think of her; for that she was condemned to the caprice of four persons,
Bold was the man who ventured first to sea, who never yet agreed in any one thing, and she was But the first vent'ring lovers bolder were. obliged to please them all.
The path of love's a dark and dang’rous way, Sack. 'Tis most true, sir; I'll give you a short Without a landmark, or one friendly star. description of the men, and leave you to judge of And he, that runs the risk, deserves the fair. the poor lady's condition. One is a kind of vir.
[Ereunt. tuoso, a silly, half-witted fellow, but positive and surly, fond of every thing antique and foreign, and SCENE II.-An Apartment in Prim's house. wears his clothes of the fashion of the last century, doats upon travellers, and believes more of Sir John
Enter Miss Lovely and her Maid Betty. Mandeville than he does of the Bible.
Betty. Bless me, madam! why do you fret and Col. F. That must be a rare odd fellow.
tease yourself so ? This is giving them the advanSack. Another is a change-broker; a fellow that tage, with a witness ! will out-lie the devil for the arlvantage of stock, and Miss L. Must I be condemned all my life to the cheat his father that got him, in a bargain; he is a preposterous humours of other people, and pointed great stickler for trade, and hates every man that at by every boy in town? Oh! I could tear myflesh, wears a sword.
and curse the hour I was born! Isn't it monstrously Free. Ile is a great admirer of the Dutch manage- ridiculous, that they should desire to impose their ment, and swears they understand trade better than quaking dress upon me at these years ? When I any nation under the sun.
was a child, no matter what they made me wear; Sack. The third is an old beau, that has May in but vow his fancy and dress, but December in his face and Betty. I would resolve against it, madam; I'd see his heels he almires all new fashions, and those 'em hanged before I'd put on the pinched cap again must be French; loves operas, balls, masquerades, Miss L. Then I must never expect one moment's and is always the most tawdry of the whole com- ease : she has rung such a peal in my cars already, pany on a birth-day.
that I sha'n't have the right use of them this month. Col. F. These are pretty opposite one to another, What can I do? truly; and the fourth-what is he, landlord ?
Betty. What can you not do, if you will but give Sack. A very rigid quaker, whose quarter began your mind to it? Marry, madam. this day. I saw Miss Lovely go in, not above two Miss L. What! and have my fortune go to build hours ago : Sir Philip set her down. What think you churches and hospitals ? now, Colonel? Is not the poor lady to be pitied ? Betty. Why, let it go. If the Colonel loves you, Col. F. Ay; and rescued, too, landlord.
as he pretends, he'll marry you without a fortune, Free. In my opinion that's impossible.
madam; and, I assure you, a colonel's lady is no devol. r. There is nothing impossible to a lover. spicable thing. What would not a man attempt for a fine woman Miss L. So, you would advise me to give up my and thirty thousand pounds ? Besides, my honour is own fortune, and throw myself upon the Colonel's ? at stake. I promised to deliver her, and she bid me Betty. I would advise you to make yourself easy, win her, and wear her.
Miss L. That's not the way, I'm sure. No, no, Wom. He crosses, as if he meant to sit down here girl; there are certain ingredients to be mingled Sir P. He has a mind to make love to thee, child with matrimony, without which I may as well change for the worse as the better. When the woman has
Enter Colonel FeignWELL. fortune enough to make the man happy, if he has Wom. It will be to no purpose, if he does. either honour or good manners, he'll make her easy. Str P. Are you resolved to be cruel, then ? Love makes but a slovenly figure in a house, where Col. F. Your must be very cruel, indeed, if you poverty keeps the door.
can deny anything to so fine a gentleman, madam. Betty. And so you resolve to die a maid, do you,
1 Takes out his watch. madam?
Wom. I never mind the outside of a man. Miss L. Or have it in my power to make the man Col. F. And I'm afraid thou art no judge of the I love master of my fortune.
inside. Betty. Then you don't like the Colonel so well as Sir P. I am positively of your mind, sir; for creaI thought you did, madam, or you would not take tures of her function seldom penetrate beyond the such a jesolution.
pocket. Miss L. It is because I do like him, Betty, that I Wom. Coxcombs!
(Aside and erit. do take such a resolution.
Sir P. Pray what says your watch? mine is down. Betty. Why, do you expect, madam, the Colonel
(Pulling out his watch. can work miracles ? Is it possible for him to marry Col. F. I want thirty-six minutes of twelve, sir. you with the consent of all your guardians ?
(Puts up his watch, and takes out his snuff-bor. Miss L. Or he must not marry me at all; and so Sir P. May I presume, sirI told him; and he did not seem displeased with the Col. F. Sir, you honour me. (Presenting the bor. news. He promised to set me free; and I, on that Sir P. He speaks good English; though he must condition, promised to make him master of that free- be a foreigner. [Aside.1. This snuff is extremely dom.
good, and the box prodigious fine: the work is Betty. Well! I have read of enchanted castles, la. French, I presume, sir. dies delivered from the chains of magic, giants killed, Col. F. I bought it in Paris, sir. I do think the and monsters overcome; so that I shall be the less workmanship pretty neat. surprised if the Colonel shall conjure you out of the Sir P. Neat! 'tis exquisitely fine, sir ! Pray, sir, power of your four guardians: if he does, I am sure if I may take the liberty of inquiring: --what counhe deserves your fortune.
try is so happy to claim the birth of the finest gen. Miss L. And shall have it, girl, if it were ten times tleman in the universe ? France, I presume. as much; for I'll ingenuously confess to thee, that I Col. F. Then you don't think me an Englishman? do love the Colonel above all the men I ever saw : Sir P. No, upon my soul, don't I. there's something so jaunty in a soldier, a kind of Col. F. I am sorry for it. je ne scais quoi air, that makes them more agreeable Sir P. Impossible you should wish to be an Engthan all the rest of mankind. They command regard, lishman! Pardon me, sir, this island could not proas who shall say, “ We are your defenders; we pre- duce a person of such alertness. serve your beauties from the insults of rude and un- Col. F. As this mirror shews you, sir. (Puts up polished foes, and ought to be preferred before those a pocket-glass to Sir Philip's face.) I know not bos lazy, indolent mortals, who, by dropping into their to distinguish you, sir; but your mien and address fathers' estates, set up their coaches, and think to speak you right honourable. rattle themselves into your affections."
Sir P. Thus great souls judge of others by them. Betty. Nay, madam, I confess that the army has selves. I am only adorned with knighthood that's engrossed all the prettiest fellows. A laced coat and all, I assure you, sir; my name is Sir Philip Modefeather have irresistible charms.
love. Miss L. But the Colonel has all the beauties of the Col. F. Of French extraction ? mind, as well as the body. 0, all ye powers that Sir P. My father was French. favour happy lovers, grant that he may be mine! Col. F. One may plainly perceive it. There is a Thou god of love, if thou be'st aught but name, ascertain gaiety peculiar to our nation, (for I will ova sist my Feignwell!
myself a Frenchman,) which distinguishes us every
where. A person of your figure would be a vast adPoint all thy darts to aid his just design, dition to a coronet. And make his plots as prevalent as thine. Sir P. I must own I had the offer of a barons
[Ereunt. about five years ago; but I abhorred the fatigue
which must have attended it. I could nefer yet
bring myself to join with either party, ACT II.
Col. É. You are perfectly in the right, Sir Philip :-a fine person should not embark himself in the
slovenly concern of politics : dress and pleasure are SCENE 1.- The Park.
objects proper for the soul of a fine gentleman.
Sir P. And love! Sir Philip Modelove discovered upon a bench, with
Col. F. Oh! that's included under the article of a Woman, masked.
pleasure. Sir P. Well but, my dear, are you really con- Sir P. Parbleu ! il est un homme d'esprit. May ! stant to your keeper ?
crave your name, sir ? Wom. Yes, really, sir. Heyday! who comes yon. Sir P. My name is La Feignwell, sir, at your der? He cuts a mighty figure.
service. Sir P. Ha! a stranger, by his equipage keeping Sir P. The La Feignwells are French, I know; 80 close at his heels. He has the appearance of a though the name is become very numerous in Great man of quality: positively French, by his dancing Britain, of late years. I was sure you was French air.
the moment I laid my eyes upon you: I could not come into the supposition of your being an English- Miss L. I do, indeed. nan: this island produces few such ornaments. Mrs. P. Now will I be judged by all sober people, Col. F. Are you married, Sir Philip?
if I don't look more like a sober woman than thou Sir P. No; nor do I believe I shall ever enter dost, Anne. into that honourable state ; I have an absolute ten- Miss L. More like a hypocrite you mean, Mrs. dre for the whole sex.
Prim. Col. F. That's more than they have for you, I dare Mrs. P. Ah! Anne, Anne, that wicked Philip swear. [ Aside. I find I was very much mistaken. Modelove will undo thee. Satan so fills thy heart I imagined you had been married to that young with pride, during the three months of his guardianlady whom I saw in the chariot with you this morn-ship, that thou becomest a stumbling-block to the uping in Gracechurch-street.
right. Sir P. Who, Nancy Lovely? I am a piece of a Miss L. Pray, who are they? Are the pinched guardian to that lady. You must know, her father, cap and formal hood the emblems of sanctity? Does I thank him, joined me with three of the most pre- your virtue consist in your dress, Mrs. Prim? posterous old fellows-that, upon my soul, I am in Mrs. P. It does not consist in cut hair, spotted pain for the poor girl: she must certainly lead apes; face, and a bare neck. Oh, the wickedness of the ha, ha!
generation! The primitive women kuew not the Col. F. That's a pity, Sir Philip. If the lady abomination of short petticoats. would give me leave, I would endeavour to avert Miss L. No; nor the abomination of cant neither. that curse.
Don't tell me, Mrs. Prim, don't; I know you have Sir P. As to the lady, she'd gladly be rid of us at as much pride, vanity, self-conceit, and ambition any rate, I believe; but here's the mischief-he who among you, couched under that formal habit and marries Miss Lovely, must have the consent of us sanctified countenance, as the proudest of us all; all four, or not a penny of her portion. For my part, but the world begins to see your prudery. I shall never approve of any but a man of figure; Mrs. P. Prudery! What do they invent new and the rest are not only averse to cleanliness, but words as well as new fashions? Ah! poor, fantastic have each a peculiar taste to gratify. For my part, age, I pity thee. Poor deluded Anne, which dost I declare I would prefer you to all men I ever saw. thou think most resembleth the saint, and which the Col. F. And I ber, to all women.
sinner, thy dress or mine? Thy naked bosom alSir P. I assure you, Mr. Feignwell, I am for mar- lureth the eye of the by-stander, encourageth the rying her; for I hate the trouble of a guardian, es- frailty of human nature, and corrupteth the soul pecially among such wretches. But I resolve never with evil longings. to agree to the choice of any one of them; and I Miss L. And pray who corrupted your son Tobias fancy they'll be even with me, for they never came with longings ?' Your maid Tabitha wore a handinto any proposal of mine yet.
kerchief, and yet he made the saint a sinner. Col. F. I wish I had leave to try them, Sir Philip. Mrs. P. Well, well, spit thy malice. I confess
Sir P. With all my soul, sir; I can refuse a per- Satan did buffet my son Tobias, and my servant son of your appearance nothing.
Tabitha : the evil spirit was at that time too strong, Col. F. Sir, I am infinitely obliged to you. and they both became subject to its workings ; not Sir P. But do you really like matrimony ? from any outward provocation, but from an inward Col. F. I believe I could with that lady. call: he was not tainted with the rottenness of the
Sir P. The only point in which we differ. But fashions, nor did his eyes take in the drunkenness you are master of so many qualifications, that I can of beauty. excuse one fault; for I must think it a fault in a fine Miss L. No! that's plainly to be seen. gentleman; and that you are such, P'll give it under Mrs. P. Tabitha is one of the faithful; he fell not
with a stranger. Col. F. I wish you'd give me your consent to Miss L. So! then you bold wenching no crime, marry Miss Lovely, under your hand, Sir Philip. provided it be within the pale of your own tribe.
Sir P. I'll do't, if you'll step into St. James's cof-You are an excellent casuist, truly! fee-house, where we may have pen and ink; though
Enter Obadiah PRIM. I can't forsee what advantage my consent will be to Obad. Not stripped of thy vanity yet, Anne! Why you, without you can find a way to get the rest of dost thou not make ber put it off, Sarah ? the guardians; but I'll introduce you, however. She Mrs. P. She will not do it. is now at a quaker's, where I carried her this morn- Obad. Verily thy naked bosom troubleth my outing, when you saw us in Gracechurch-street. I assure ward man: put on a handkerchief, Anne Lovely. you she has an odd ragout of guardians, as you will Miss L. I hate handkerchiefs when 'tis not cold find when you hear the characters, which I'll endea- weather, Mr. Prim. your to give you as we go along. Hey! Pierre, Mrs. P. I have seen thee wear a handkerchief, in Jacques, Renno! Where are ye all, scoundrels ? Or the middle of July. der the chariot to St. James's coffee-house.
Miss L. Ay, to keep the sun from scorching me. Col. F. Le Noire, La Brun, La Blanc! Morbleu, Obad. If thou couldst not bear the sunbeams, how ou sont ces coquins la? Allons, Monsieur le Chevalier. dost thou think man can bear thy beams? Enter three Servants.
Miss L. Let me be quiet, I say. Must I be torSir P. Ah! Pardonnez moi, monsieur.
mented thus for ever? Sure no woman's condition Col. F. Not one step upon my soul, Sir Philip. ever equalled mine! Foppery, folly, avarice, and Sir P. The best bred man in Europe, positively. hypocrisy, are, by turns, my constant companions.
(Ereunt. I cannot think my father meant this tyranny. No, SCENE IL-Obadiah Prim's House.
you usurp an authority which he never intended Enter Miss Lovely and Mrs. PRIM.
you should take.
Obad. Hark thee, dost thou call good counsel tyMrs. P. Then thou wilt not obey me; and thou ranny? Do I or my wife tyrannise, when we desire dost really think those fallals become thee? thee in all love to put off thy tempting attire ?
Miss L. I wish I were in my grave! Kill me come the envy of mankind, as much as you outshine rather than treat me thus.
your whole sex. Obad. Kill thee! Ha, ha! thou thinkest thou art (As he takes her hand to kiss it, he endearourt to acting some lewd play sure. Kill thee! Art thou put a letter into it; she lets it drop; Prim prepared for death, Anne Lovely? No, no; thou
takes it up. would'st rather have a husband, Anne. Thou wantest Miss L. I have no ambition to appear conspicu a gilt coach, with six lazy fellows behind, to flaunt ously ridiculous, sir.
[Turning from him. it in the ring of vanity, among the princes and rulers Col. F. So fail the hopes of Feignwell. of the land, who pamper themselves with the fatness Miss L. Ha! Feignwell! 'tis he! What have I thereof; but I will take care that none shall squan- done! Prim has the letter, and it will be discovered. der away thy father's estate; thou shalt marry none
(Asie. such, Annc.
Obad. Friend, I know not thy name, so cannot Miss L. Would you marry me to one of your own call thee by it; but thou seest thy letter is unwe:canting sect?
come to the maiden: she will not read it. Obad. Yca, verily, no one else shall ever get my Miss L. Nor shall you : (snatches the letter.) I'll consent, I do assure thee, Anne.
tear it in a thousand pieces, and scatter it, as I wil Miss L. And I do assure thee, Obadiah, that I will the hopes of all those that any of you shall recomas soon turn papist, and die in a convent.
mend to me.
(Tears the letter Mrs. P. O wickedness!
Sir P. Ha! right woman, 'faith! Miss L. O stupidity!
Col. F. Excellent woman !
[4side. Obad. O blindness of heart!
Obad. Friend, thy garb savoureth too much of the Miss L. Thou blinder of the world, don't provoke vanity of the age for iny approbation; nothing that
lest I betray your sanctity, and leave your wife resembleth Philip Modelove, shall I love. Mark to judge of your purity! What were the emotions that, therefore, friend Philip; bring no more of thy of your spirit, when you squeezed Mary by the hand own apes under my roof. last night in the pantry ? Don't you remember, Mr. Sir P. I am so entirely a stranger to the monsters Prim ?
of thy breed, that I shall bring none of them, I am Mrs. P. What does she say, Obadiah ?
Obad. She talketh unintelligibly, Sarah. Which Col. F. I am likely to have a pretty task by the way did she hear this? This should not have reach'd time I have gone through them all; but she's a city the ears of the wicked ones. Verily it troubleth me. worth taking, and egadoP'll carry on the siege: if i
(Aside. can but blow up the out-works, I fancy I am pretty Enter a Servant. secure of the town.
Enter Servant. Serv. Philip Modelove, whom they call Sir Philip, is below, and such another with him; shall I send
Serv. Toby Periwinkle and Thomas Tradelore
demand to see thee. then up?
[To Sir Philip.
Sir P. Bid them come up. Obad. Yea. (Exit Servant.
Miss L. Deliver me from such an inundation of Enter Sir Philip MODELOVE and Colonel Feign. noise and nonsense. Oh, Feignwell! whatever thy
contrivance be, prosper it, heaven! (Eri. Sir P. How dost thou do, friend Prim? Odso!
Sir P. Sic transit gloria mundi ! my she friend here too! What, are you document
Enter PeriwINKLE and TRADELOTE. ing Miss Nancy? Reading her a lecture upon the These are my brother guardians, Mr. Feignwell. pinch'd coif, I warrant ye!
Prythee observe the creatures. Mrs. P. I am sure thou didst never read her any
(Aside to Col. PEIGXWELL. lecture that was good. My flesh so riseth at these Trade. Well, Sır Philip, I obey your summons. wicked ones, that prudence adviseth me to withdraw Per. Pray what have you to offer for the good of from their sight.
[Erit. Miss Lovely, Sir Philip? Col. F. Oh, that I could find means to speak with Sir P. First, I desire to know what you intend to her! How charming she appears! I wish I could get do with that lady? Must she be sent to the Indies this letter into her hand.
(Aside for a venture, or live an old maid; and then be Sir P. Well, miss, I hope thou hast got the better entered amongst your curiosities, and shewn for a of them.
monster, Mr. Periwinkle ? Miss L. The difficulties of my life are not to be Col. F. Humph! curiosities; that must be the surmounted, Sir Philip. I hate the impertinence of virtuoso.
(Aside. him as much as the stupidity of the other. Aside. Per. Why what would you do with her?
Obad. Verily, Philip, thou wilt spoil this mailen. Sir P. I would recommend this gentleman to her
Sir P. I find we still differ in opinion ; but that for a husband, sir; a person whom I have picked uut we may none of us spoil her, pr’ythee, Prim, let us from the whole race of mankind. consent to marry her. I have sent for our brother Obad. I would advise thee to shuffle him again Quadrant to meet me here about this very thing. With the rest of mankind; for I like him not. Madam, will you give me leave to recommend a Col. F. Pray, sir, without offence to your forhusband to you? Here's a gentleman, whom, in my ality, what may be your objections ? mind, you can have no objection to.
Obad. Thy person, thy manners, thy dress, thy [Presents the Colonel to her; she looks another acquaintance, thy everything, friend. way.
Sir P. You are most particularly obliging, fnedd Miss L. Heaven deliver me from the formal and Ha, ha! the fantastic fool !
Trade. What business do you follow, pray, sir? Col. F. A fine woman,-a fine horse, and fine Col. F. Humph! by that question he must be the equipage, are the finest things in the universe; and broker. (Aside. Business, sir? the business of a if I am so happy to possess you, madam, I shall be- / gentleman.
Trade. That is as much as to say, you dress fine, Sack. There's the conveyance, sir Erit. feed high, and pay your debts of honour better than Col. F. Now, if I should cheat all these roguish your tailor's or your butcher's.
guardians, and carry off my mistress in triumph, it Col. F. The court is much obliged to you, sir, for would be what the French call a grand coup d'éclat. your character of a gentleman.
Odso! here comes Periwinkle. Ah! deuce take Trade. The court, sir! What would the court do this beard; pray Jupiter it does not give me the slip without us citizens ?
and spoil all. Sir P. Without your wives and daughters, you
Enter SACKBUT, with wine, and PERIWINKLE mean, Mr. Tradelove. Per. Have you ever travelled, sir ?
folloncing Col. F. That question must not be answered now. Sack. Sir, this gentleman hearing you have been (Aside. In books I have, sir.
a great traveller, and a person of fine speculation, Per. 'Iu books! That's fine travelling indeed! Sir | begs leave to take a glass with you ; he is a man of Philip, when you present a person I like, he shall a curious taste himself. have my consent to marry Miss Lovely; till then, Col. F. The gentleman has it in his face and garb. your servant.
[Eril. Sir, you are welcome. Col. F. I'll make you like me befure I have done Per. Sir, I honour a traveller and men of your with you, or I am mistaken.
(Aside. inquiring disposition; the oddness of your habit Tradle. And when you can convince me that a pleases me extremely; 'tis very antique, and for that beau is more useful to my country than a merchant, I like it. you shall have mine; till then you must excuse me. Col. F. 'Tis very antique, sir. This habit once
[Erit. belonged to the famous Claudius Ptolomeus, who Col. F. So much for trade. I'll fit you too. (Aside. lived in the year one hundred and thirty-five.
Sir P. In my opinion, this is very inhuman treat- Sack. If he keeps up to the sample, he shall lie ment, as to the lady, Mr. Prim.
with the devil for a bean-stack, and win it every Onad. Thy opinion and mine happen to differ as straw.
(Aside. much as our occupations, friend: business requireth Per. A hundred and thirty-five! why, that's promy presence, and folly thine; and so I must bid digious now! Well, certainly 'tis the finest thing in thee farewell.
[Erit. the world to be a traveller. Sir P. Here's breeding for you, Mr. Feignwell! Col. F. For my part, I value none of the modern "Gad take me.
fashions a fig-leaf. llalf my estate I'd give to see 'em bil. [Aside. Per. No more don't I, sir; I had rather be the Col. F. I hope to bite you all, if my plot hit. jest of a fool than his favourite. I am laughed at
[Ereunt. here for my singularity. This coat, you must know,
sir, was formerly worn by that ingenious and very learned person, Mr. John Tradescant, of Lambeth.
Col. F. John 'Tradescant! Let me embrace you, ACT III.
sir. John Tradescant was my uncle, by my mother's side; and I thank you for the honour you do his
memory: he was a very curious man indeed. SCENE I.-A Tavern.
Per. Your uncle, sir! Nay, then 'tis no wonder Col. Feignwell is discovered in an Egyptian dress, blood. My humble service to you, sir: to the im
that your taste is so refined ; why you have it in your with SACKBUT.
mortal memory of John Tradescant, your never-toSack. A lucky beginning, Colonel; you have got be-forgotten uncle.
[Drinks. the old beau's consent.
Col. F. Give ine a glass, landlord. Col. F. Ay, he's a reasonable creature; but the Per. I find you are primitive, even in your wine. other three will require some pains. Shall I pass Canary was the drink of our wise forefathers; 'tis upon him, think you? Egad, in my mind, I look balsamic, and saves the charge of apothecaries coras antique as if I had been preserved in the ark. dials. Oh! that I had lived in your uncle's days!
Sack. Pass upon him! ay, ay, if you have assur- or rather, that he were now alive! Oh! how proud ance enough.
he'd be of such a nephew. A person of your curioCol. F. I have no apprehension from that quarter; sity must have collected many rarities. assurance is the cockade of a soldier.
Col. F. I have some, sir, which are not yet come Sack. Ay, but the assurance of a soldier differs ashore; as an Egyptian idol :much from that of a traveller. Can you lie with a Per. Pray what may that be? gond grace?
Col. F. It is, sir, a kind of an ape, which they forCol. F. As heartily, when my mistress is the prize, merly worshipped in that country; I took it from the as I would meet the foe when my country called and breast of a female mummy. king commanded; so don't you fear that part: if he Per. Ha, ha! our women retain part of their don't know me again, I am safe. I hope he'll come. idolatry to this day; for many an ape lies on a lady's
Sark. I wish all my debts would come as sure: 1 breast. Ha, ha !told him you had been a great traveller, had many Sack. A smart old thief.
[ Aside. valuable curiosities, and was a person of most singu. Col. F. Two tusks of an hippopotamus, two pair lar taste : he scemed transported, and begged me to of Chinese nut-crackers, and one Egyptian mummy. keep you till he came.
Per. Pray, sir, have you never a crocodile ? Col. F. Ay, ay, he need not fear my running away. Col. F. Humph! the boatswain brought one with Let's have a bottle of sack, landlord; our ancestors a design to show it; but touching at Rotterdam, drank sack.
and hearing it was no rarity in England, he sold it Sack. You shall have it.
to a Dutch poet. Lookye, sir, do you see this little Col. F. And whereabouts is the trap-door you phial ? mentioned ?
Per. Pray you what is it?