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To shew how much our innocence contemns Subjects unto me, while I was their king. (Bruges, All practice from the guiltiest to molest us.

Vand. Your grace command them follow me to Away with them! [Erit WOLFORT guarded. They'll turn the wheel for Crab the rope-maker. Ger. Sir, you must help to join

Flo. Do you hear, sirs ? A pair of hands, as they have done of hearts Hig. We do; thanks to your grace. (a week And to their loves wish joys.

Vand. They shall beat hemp, and be whipp'd twice Flo. As to mine own-my gracious sister, Prig. Thank your good lordship. Worthiest brother!

[Embracing. Flo. No, I will take the care on me to find Vand. Away with them! a noble prince ! Some manly and more profitable course, And yet I'd fain some one were hang'd.

To fit them as a part of the republic. Ger. Sir, here be friends ask to be look'd on too, Be it our care to prove unto the world And thank'd; who though their trade be none o'th' Our better title o'er usurped favour, best,

In how much we shall use it for the good Have yet us’d me with court'sy, and been true Ev'n of the meanest subjects in our state. (Exeunt







man ought, but sighingly, miserably so ; Dot con

tent to be ankle-deep, you have sous'd over head Moody

and ears; ha, Dick ? HARCOURT

Bel. I am pretty much in that condition, indeed, SPARKISH uncle.


Har. Nay, never blush at it: when I was of WILLIAM

your age I was asham'd too; but three years at Countrymen, &c.

college, and half a one at Paris, methinks, should

have cured you of that unfashionable weakness Miss PEGGY

modesty. ALITHEA

Bel. Could I have released myself from that, I

had perhaps been at this instant happy in the pos-
session of what I must despair now ever to obtain.
Har. Ha, ha, ha! very

foolish indeed.

Bel. Don't langh at me, unele; I am foolish, I ACT I.

know; but, like other fools, I deserve to be pitied.

Har. Pr’ythee don't talk of pity; how can I help SCENE I.--Harcourt's Lodgings.

you? For this country girl of yours is certainly mar

rid. HARCOURT and BELVILLE discovered sitting.

Bel. No, no; I won't believe it; she is not mat Har. Ha, ha, ha! and so you are in love, nephew;

ried, nor she sha'n't be, if I can help it. not reasonably and gallantly, as a young gentle can help yourself, Dick, without my assistance.

Har. Well said, modesty; with such a spirit you

Bel. But you must encourage and advise me too, you, sir ; but as I did not know him, I said you were or I shall never make anything of it.

not at home, but would return directly; " And so Har. Provided the girl is not married; for I never will I too,” said he, very shortly and surlily! and encourage young men to covet their neighbours' away he went, muinbling to himself. wives.

Har. Very well, Will; I'll see him when he comes. Bel. My heart assures me, that she is not married. (Exit Servant.) Moody' call to see me! He has

Har. O, to be sure, your heart is much to be re- something more in his head than making me a lied upon; but to convince you that I have a fellow- visit ; 'tis to complain of you, I suppose. feeling of your distress, and that I am as nearly al- Bel. How can he know me ? lied to you in misfortunes as in relationship, you Har. We must suppose the worst, and be premust know

pared for

him; tell me all you know of this ward of Bel. What, uncle ? You alarm me!

his, this Peggy-Peggy what's her name? Har. That I am in love, too.

Bes. Thrift, Thrift, uncle. Bel. Indeed !

Har. Ay, ay, Sir Thomas Thrift's daughter, of Har. Miserably in love.

Hampshire; and left very young, under the guarBel. That's charming.

dianship of my old companion and acquaintance, Har. And my mistress is just going to be married Jack Moody. to another.

Bel. Your companion !-he's old enough to be Bel. Better and better.

your father. Har. I knew my fellow-sufferings would please Har. Thank you, nephew; he has greatly the adyou; but now prepare for the wonderful wonder-of-vantage of me in years, as well as wisdom. When wonders!

I first launched from the university into this ocean Bel. Well.

of London, he was the greatest rake in it; I knew Har. My mistress is in the same house with yours. I him well for near two years, but all of a sudden he Bel. What are you in love with Peggy, too ? took a freak (a very prudent one) of retiring wholly

(Rising from his chair. into the country. Har. Well said, jealousy. No, no; set your heart Bel. There he gain'd such an ascendancy over at rest; your Peggy is too young, and too simple for the odd disposition of his neighbour, Sir Thomas, me. I must have one a little more knowing, a little that he left him sole guardian to his daughter; who better bred, just old enough to see the difference forfeits half her fortune, if she does not marry with between me and a coxcomb, spirit enough to break his consent. There's the devil, uncle. from a brother's engagements, and choose for her. Har. And are you so young, so foolish, and so self.

much in love, that you would take her with half her Bel. You don't mean Alithea, who is to be mar- value? Ha, nephew ? ried to Mr. Sparkish ?

Bel. I'll take her with anything, with nothing. Har. Can't I be in love with a lady that is going Har. What! such an unaccomplish'd, awkward, to be married to another, as well as you, sir ? silly creature ? He has scarce taught her to write ; Bel. But Sparkish is your friend ?

she has seen nobody to converse with, but the counHar. Prythee don't call him my friend; he can try people about 'em; so she can do nothing but be nobody's friend, not even his own. He would dangle her arms, look gawky, turn her toes in, and thrust himself into my acquaintance, would intro- talk broad Hampshire. duce me to his mistress, though I have told him Bel. Don't abuse her sweet simplicity; had you again and again that I was in love with her; which, but heard her talk, as I have done, from the gardeninstead of ridding me of him, has made him only wall in the country, by moon-lightten times more troublesome, and me really in love. Har. Romeo and Juliet, I protest; ha, ha, ha! He should suffer for his self-sufficiency.

“ Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious" ha, ha, Bel. 'Tis a conceited puppy. And what success ha! How often have you seen this fair Capulet? with the lady ?

Bel. I saw her three times in the country, and Har. No great hopes; and yet if I could defer the spoke to her twice; I have leap'd an orchard-wall, marriage a few days, I should not despair; her ho- like Romeo, to come at her; played the balcony nour, I am confident, is her only attachment to my scene, from an old summer-house in the garden; rival: she can't like Sparkish; and if I can work and if I lose her, I will find out an apothecary, and upon his credulity, a credulity which even popery play the tomb scene too. would be ashamed of, I may yet have the chance of Har. Well said, Dick! this spirit must produce throwing sixes upon the dice to save me.

something; but has the old dragon ever caught you Bel. Nothing can save me.

sighing at her? Har. No, not if you whine and sigh, when you Bel. Never in the country; he saw me yesterday should be exerting everything that is man about kissing my hand to her, from the new tavern winyou. I have sent Sparkish, who is admitted at all dow that looks upon the back of his house, and imhours into the house, to know how the land lies for mediately drove her from it, and fastened up the you, and if she is not married already

window-shutters. Bel. How cruel you are; you raise me up with Spark. Without.] Very well, Will, I'll go up to one hand, and then knock me down with the other. 'em.

Har. Well, well, she shan't be married. (Knock- Har. I hear Sparkish coming up; take care of ing at the door. This is Sparkish, I suppose; don't what I told you; not a word of Peggy; hear his indrop the least hint of your passion to him; if you telligence, and make use of it, without seeming to do, you may as well advertise it in the public papers. mind it. Bel. I'll be careful.

Bel. Mum, mum, uncle.
Enter a Servant.

Serv. An odd sort of a person, from the country, Spark. O, my dear Harcourt, I shall die with
I believe, who calls himsel Moody, wants to see I laughing; I have such news for thee, ha, ha, ha!

What, your nephew too, and a little dumpish, or so; have more wit than you used to have; besides, it you have been giving him a lecture upon economy, you have as much as you think you have, I shall be Í suppose-you, who never had any, can best de- out of your reach, and this profligate metropolis, in scribe the evils that arise from the want of it. I less than a week.”. Moody would fain have got rid never mind my own affairs, not I; “The gods take of him, but the other beld him by the sleeve, so I care of Cato." - I hear, Mr. Belville, you have got a left 'em; rejoiced most luxuriously to see the poos pretty snug house, with a bow-window that looks devil tormented. into the Park, and a back-door that goes out into it. Bel. I thought you said, just now, that he was Yery convenient, and well-imagined; no young not married, is not that a contradiction, sir? (Harhandsome fellow should be without one; you may court still makes signs to Beleille.) be always ready there, like a spider in his web, to Spark. Why, it is a kind of one; but considering seize upon stray'd women of quality.

your modesty, and ignorance of the young lady, Har. As you used to do-you vain fellow, you; you are pretty tolerably inquisitive, mechinks; ea, prythee don't teach my nephew your abandoned Harcourt! ha, ha, ha! trieks; he is a modest young man, and you must Har. Pooh, pooh! don't talk to that boy, tell me Dot spoil him.

all you know. Spark. May be so, but his modesty has done some Spark. You must know, my booby cf a brothermischief at our house; my surly, jealous brother. in-law hath brought up this ward of his (a good for. in-law saw that modest young gentleman casting a tune let me tell you), as he coops up and fattens his wishful eşe at his forbidden fruit, from the new chickens, for his own eating; he is plaguy jealous of tavern window.

her, and was very sorry that he could not marry her Bel. You mistake the person, Mr. Sparkish; I in the country, without coming up to town; whicle don't know what young lady you mean.

he could not do on account of some writings or Har. Explain yourself, Sparkish, you must mis. other; so what does my gentleman? He persuades take; Dick has never seen the girl.

the poor silly girl, by breaking a sixpence, or some Spark. I don't say he has; I only tell you what nonsense or another, that they are to all intents Moody says. Besides, he went to the tavern him- married in heaven ; but that the laws require the self, and inquired of the waiter who dined in the signing of articles, and the church service to comback room, No. 4; and they told him it was Mr. plete their union : so he has made her call him husBelville, your nephew; that's all I know of the band, and bud, which she constantly does; and he matter, or desire to know of it, faith.

calls her wife, and gives out she is married, that she Har. He kiss'd his hand, indeed, to your lady, may not look after younger fellows, Dor younger Alithea, and is more in love with her than you are, fellows after her, egad; ha, ha, ha! and all won't do. and very near as much as I am; so look about you; Bel. Thank you, sir. What heavenly, news, such a youth may be dangerous.

uncle !

(Aside. Spark. The more danger the more honour: I defy Har. What an idiot you are, nephew. (Apart. you both; win her and wear her, if you can ; And so then you make but one trouble of it, and Dolus an virtus in love as well as in war! though you are both to be tack'd together the same day? must be expeditious, faith; for I believe, if I don't Spark. No, no, he can't be married this week; change my mind, I shall marry her to-morrow, or he d-ns the lawyers for keeping him in town; bethe day after. Have you no honest clergyman, Har- sides, I am out of favour; and he is continually court, 'no fellow-collegian to recommend me, to do snarling at me, and abusing me for not being jeathe business ?

lous. (Knocking at the door. There be is; I must Har. Nothing ever, sure, was so lucky. (Aside.] not be seen with you, or he'll suspect something; Why, faith, I have, Sparkish; my brother, a twin- I'll go with your nephew to his house, and we'll wait brother, Ned Harcourt, will be in town to-day, and for you, and make a visit to my wife that is to be, proud to attend your commands. I am a very gene- and perhaps we shall show young modesty here a rous rival, you see, to lend you my brother to marry sight of Peggy too. the woman I love. Spark. And so am I too, to let your brother come

Enter a Servant. so near us; but Ned shall be the man ; poor Alithea Serv. Sir, here's the strange odd sort of a gentlegrows impatient; I can't put off the evil day any man come again, and I have showa him into the longer.

fancy the brute, her brother, has a mind fore-parlour. to marry his country idiot at the same time.

Spark. That must be Moody. Well said, Will; Bel. How! country idiot, sir?

an odd sort of a strange gentleman indeed; we'll Har. Hold your tongue. (Apart to Belville.] I step into the next room till he comes into this, and thought he had been married already.

then you may have him all to yourself; much good Spark. No, no, he's not married, that's the joke may he do you. (Going.) Remember that he is of it.

married, or he'll suspect me of betraying him. Bel. No, no, he is not married.

(Exeunt SparkisH and BELVILLE Har. Hold your tongue. (Elbowing Belville.) Har. Show him up, Will. (Eri Servant.] Now

Spark. Not he; I have the finest story to tell must I prepare myself to see a very strange, though you : by-the-by, he intends calling upon you—for he a very natural metamorphosis ; & once high-spirited, asked me where yon lived to complain of modesty handsome, well-dress’d, raking prodigal of the town, there. He picked up an old raking acquaintance of sunk into a surly, suspicious, economical, country his as we came along together, Will Frankly, who sloven. saw him with his girl, skulking and muffled up, at the play last night; he plagu'd him much about ma.

Enter Moopr. trimony, and his being ashamed to show himself; swore he was in love with his wife, and intended to you forgot me ?

Moo. Mr. Harcourt, your humble servant · hare cuckold him. “Do you?" cried Moody, folding his arms, and scowling with his eyes thus" You must long absence from the town, ebe grumaess of thy

Har. What, my old friend, Jack Moody! Byty countenance, and the slovenliness of thy habit, 1 ble. You have heard of a wolf in sheep's clothing; should give thee joy; you are certainly married. and I have seen your innocent nephew kissing his

Mou. My long stay in the country will excuse my hands at my windows. dress, and I have a suit at law that brings me up to Har. At your sister, I suppose ; not at her unies. town, and puts me out of humour; besides, I must he was tipsy. How can you, Jack, be so outrage. give Sparkish ten thousand pounds to-morrow to take ously suspicious ? Sparkish has promised to intro. my sister off my hands.

duce him to his mistress. Par. Your sister is very much obliged to you: Moo. Sparkish is a fool, and may be what I'li being so much older than her, you have taken upon take care not to be.--I confess my visit to you, you the authority of a father, and have engaged her Mr. Harcourt, was partly for old acquaintance to a coxcomb.

sake, but chiefly to desire your nephew to contine Moo. I have, and to oblige her: nothing but cox- his gallantries to the tavern, and not send 'em in combs or debauchees are the favourites now a-days; looks, signs, or tokens, on the other side of the and a coxcomb is rather the more innocent animal way. I keep no brothel; so pray tell your nephew. of the two.

(Going. Har. She has sense and taste, and can't like him; Har. Nay, priythee, Jack, leave me in better so you must answer for the consequences.

humour. Well, I'll tell him; ba, ha, ha! Poor Moo. When she is out of my hands, her husband Dick, how he'll stare. This will give him a repumust look to the consequences. He's a fashionable tation, and the girls won't laugh at him any longer. fool, and will cut his horns kindly.

Shall we dine together at the tavern, and send for Har. And what is to secure your worship from my nephew to chide him for his gallantry ? Ha, ha consequences ? I did not expect marriage from ha! we shall have fine sport. such a rake-one that knew the town so well; fie, Moo. I am not to be laugh'd out of my senses, fie, Jack

Mr. Harcourt. I was once a modest young genleMoo. I'll tell you my security; I have married no man myself; and I never have been half so misLondon wife.

chievous before or since, as I was in that state of Har. That's all one; that grave circumspection innocence. And so, old friend, make no ceremony in marrying a country wise, is like refusing a de- with me; I have much business, and you have ceitful, pamper'd, Smithfield jade, to go and be much pleasure, and, therefore, as I hate forms, I cheated by a friend in the country:

will excuse your returning my visit, or sending Moo. I'wish the devil had both him and his simile. your nephew to satisfy me of his modesty—and so | Aside. your servant.

(Erit. Har. Well, never grumble about it; what's Har. Ha, ha, ha! poor Jack! what a life of susdone can't be undone. Is your wife handsome and picion does he lead! I pity the poor fellow, though young ?

he ought and will suffer for his folly.--Folly:-'tis Moo. She has little beauty but her youth, nothing treason, murder, sacrilege! When persons of a to brag of but her health, and no attraction but her certain age will indulge their false, ungenerous modesty; wholesome, homely, and housewifely; appetites, at the expense of a young creature's that's all.

happiness, dame Nature will revenge herself upon Har. You talk as like a grazier as you look, Jack. them, for thwarting her most heavenly will and Why did you not bring her to town before, to be pleasure.

[Erit, taught something?

Moo. Which something I might repent as long as I live.

Har. But pr'ythee, why wouldst thou marry her, if she be ugly, ill-bred, and silly: she must be rich

АСТ II. then ?

Moo. As rich as if she had the wealth of the SCENE I.-A Chamber in Moody's house. mogul. She'll not ruin her husband, like a London baggage, with a million of vices she never heard of:

Enter Peggy and ALITHEA. then, because she's ugly, she's the likelier to be my Peg. Pray, sister, where are the best fields and own; and being ill-bred, she'll hate conversation; woods to walk in in London ? and since silly and innocent, will not know the dif.

Ali. A pretty question! Why, sister, Vauxhall, ference between me and you ; that is, between a Kensington Gardens, and St. James's Park, are the man of thirty and one of forty.

most frequented. Har. Fifty to my knowledge. (Moody turns off, Peg. Pray, sister, tell me why my bud looks so and grumbles.) But see how you and I differ, Jack; grum here in town, and keeps me up so close, and wit to me is more necessary than beauty; I think won't let me go a-walking, nor let me wear my best no young woman ugly that has it, and no handsome gown yesterday? woman agreeable without it.

Ali, o, he's jealous, sister! Moo. 'T'is my maxim; he's a fool that marries; Peg. Jealous! What's that? but he's a greater that does not marry a fool. i Ali. He's afraid you should love another man. know the town, Mr. Harcourt; and my wife shall Peg. How should he be afraid of my loving be virtuous in spite of you or your nephew. another man, when he will not let me see any but

Har. My nephew! poor sheepish lad, he runs himself? away from every woman he sees : he saw your Ali. Did he not carry you yesterday to the play? sister Alithea at the opera, and was much smitten Peg. Ay; but we sat amongst ugly people : he with her; he always toasts her, and hates the would not let me come near the gentry, who sat very name of Sparkish. I'll bring him to your under us, so that I could not see 'em. He told me house, and you shall see what a formidable Tarquin none but naughty women sat there; but I would he is.

have ventured for all that Moo. I have no curiosity, so give yourself no trou. Ali. But how did you like the play?

like you.


Peg. Indeed I was weary of the play; but I liked Moo. Ay, I warrant you. hugeously the actors; they are the goodliest, pro- Peg. Ay, I warrant you. perest men, sister.

Moo. Why, you do not, I hope ? Ali. O, but you must not like the actors, sister. Peg. No, no, bud; but why have we no player

Peg. Ay, how should I help it, sister? Pray, men in the country? sister, when my guardian comes in, will you ask Moo. Ha! Mrs. Mins, ask me no more to go to a leave for me to go a-walking ?

play. Ali. A-walking! ha, ha, ha! Lord, a country Peg. Nay, why, love ? I did not care for going; gentlewoman's pleasure is the drudgery of a foot- but when you forbid me, you make me, as it were, post; and she requires as much airing as her hus- desire it. Pray let me go to a play, dear? band's horses. (Aside.] But here comes my brother; Moo. Hold your peace; I won't. I'll ask him, though I'm sure he'll not grant it. Peg. Why, love ? Enter Moody.

Moo. Why, I'll tell you.

Peg. Pray, why, dear ? Peg. O my dear, dear bud, welcome home; why

Moo. First, you like the actors : and the gallants dost thou look so fropish? Who has nager’d thee ?

may Moo. You're a fool. (Peggy goes aside and cries.] Ali. Paith, and so she is, for crying for no fault; body will like me.

Peg. What, a homely country girl? No, bad, nopoor, tender creature !

Moo. I tell you yes, they may. Moo. What, would you have her as impudent as yourself; as arrant a girlflirt, a gadder, a magpie; will go.

Peg. No, no, you jest- I won't believe you; I and to say all, a mere notorious town woman.

Moa I tell you, then, that one of the most raking Ali. Brother, you are my only censurer; and the honour of your family will sooner

suffer in your wife fellows in town, who saw you there, totu ze he was

in love with you. that is to be, than in me, though I take the innocent

Peg. Indeed: who, who, pray, who was’t? liberty of the town. Moo. Hark you, mistress; do not talk so before

Moo. I've gone too far, and slipt before I was

How overjoy'd she is! my wife: the innocent liberty of the town!

| Aside. Ali . Pray what ill people frequent my lodgings?

Peg. Was it any llampshire gallant ? any of our I keep no company with any woman of scandalous neighbours ?—'Promise you I am beholden to him.

Moo. I promise you, you Lie; for he would but reputation. Moo

. No, you keep the men of scandalous reputa- ruin you, as he has done hundreds. tion company;

Peg. Ay, but if he loves me, why should he ruin Ali. Would you not have me civil? Answer them me ? Answer me to that. Methinks he should not;

I would do him no harm. at public places? Walk with them when they join

Ali. Ha, ha, ha! me in the Park, Kensington Gardens, or Vauxhall? Moo. Hold, hold; do noi teach my wife where the

Moo. 'Tis very well; but I'll keep him from doing men are to be found; I believe she's the worse for you any harm, or me either. But here comes comyour town documents already. I bid you keep her pany; get you in, get you in. in ignorance as I do.

Peg. But pray, husband, is he a pretty gentlePeg. Indeed, be not angry with her, bud: she man that loves me ? will tell me nothing of the town, though I ask her a the door.] What, 'all the libertines of the town

Moo. In, baggage, in. Į Thrusts her in, and shuts thousand times a day.

Moo. Then you are very inquisitive to know, I brought to my lodging by this easy coxcomb! find.

'Sdeath! I'll not suffer it. Peg. Not I, indeed, dear; I hate London : our

Enter SparkISH, HARCOURT, and BELVILLE. place-house in the country is worth a thousand of’t; Spark. Here, Belville, do you approve my choice? wonld I were there again!

Dear little rogue, I told you I'd bring you acMoo. So you shall, I warrant. But were you not quainted with all my friends the wits. (To Alirua. talking of plays and players when I came in? You Moo. Ay, they shall know her as well as you are her encourager in such discouses. [To ALITHEA. yourself will, I warrant you.

(Aside. Peg. No, indeed, dear; she chid me just now for Spark. This is one of those, my pretty rogue, that liking the player-men.

are to dance at your wedding to-morrow; and one Moo. Nay, if she is so innocent as to own to me you must make welcome; for he's modest. (BELVILLE her liking them, there's no harm in't. (Aside. crosses and salutes AliTheA; HARCOURT does the Come, my poor rogue, but thou likest none better sume.] Harcourt makes himself welcome, and has than me?

not the same foible, though of the same family. Peg. Yes, indeed, but I do: the player-men are Har. You are too obliging, Sparkish. (ALITHEA finer folks.

and SPARKISH retire.] Moo. But you love none better than me?

Moo. And so he is, indeed. The fop's horns will Peg. You are my own dear bud, and I know you: as naturally sprout upon his brows as mushrooms I hate strangers.

upon dunghills.

(Ande. Moo. Ay, my dear, you must love me only; and Har. This, Mr. Moody, is my nephew you mecnot be like the naughty town women, who only hatc tioned to me. I would bring him with me; for a their husbands, and love every man else; love plays, sight of him will be sufficient, without poppy or visits, fine coaches, fine clothes, fiddles, balls, mandragora, to restore you to your rest. (Jarina treats, and so lead a wicked town life.

ALITHEA and SPArkish. Peg. Nay, if to enjoy all these things be a town Bel. I am sorry, sir, that any mistake or impra life, London is not so bad a place, dear.

dence of mine should have given you any upeasiMoo. How! if you love me you must hate Lon. ness: it was not so intended, I assure you, sir. don. Peg. But, bud, do the town women love the for that. My wife, sir, must not be smirkod and

Moo. It may be so, sir, but not the less criminal player-men too?

podded at from tavern windows. I am a good shot,

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