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field round; and the field, ten, fifteen, and twenty Groom. Sir Archy, r'll be as sileat &
to one; for you must know, madam, the thing I fault.
was to have ridden was let down-do you mind? Sir A. Then do ye retire, madam, ad
was let down, madam, in his exercise.

till him, as if ye came on purpose. I'll Sir A. That was unlucky!

in an instant. Groom. Oh! d-d unlucky! however, we started Char. I shall be ready, Sir Arcby. off score, by Jupiter; and for the first half-mile, Sir A. Get ye bebind, get re behind, madam, you might have covered us with your underpetticoat. But your friend Bob, madam-ha, ha! Groom. Ay, ay; we'll squat, nerer free I shall never forget it-poor Bob went out of the Archy. An Irishman make love! I should be course, and run over two attorneys, an exciseman, to bear what an Irishman can say when be and a little beau Jew, Mordecai's friend, madam, love. What do you think he'll say, lattie gali that you used to laugh at so immoderately at Bath; Do you think he'll make love in Iraak! a little, fine, dirty thing, with a chocolate-coloured Morde. Something very like it, I am phiz, just like Mordecai's. The people were in 'Squire. Let us retire, here they come Es”. hopes he had killed the lawyers, but were dy Enter Sir Archy MACSARCASM and Sir Co. disappointed when they found he had only broken a

GHAN O'BRALLAGHAX. leg of one, and the back of the other.

Sir A. Speak bauldly, man; ye kea tbe zuld AU. Ha, ha, ha!

verb, “ Faint heart-" Sir A. And hoo did it end, 'Squire ? Wha wan the subscription ?

Sir C. That is true* never res fair Li. Groom. It lay between Dick Riot and I. We Yes, I think now I have got a bumper arts were neck and neck, madam, for three miles, as hard may tell her my passion, and bring the point ::.

eclaircissement. as we could lay leg to ground; made running every inch; but, at the first loose, I felt for him-found 1 wull be wi' you in a twinkling. Yer servant, i

Sir A. Ay, that's right, mon!

stick to the had the foot-knew my bottom-pulled up-pretended to dig and cut-all fudge, all fudge, my

ye gude success. dear; gave the signal to Pond to lay it on thick-what am I to do in this business? I know it

Sir C. Sir Archy, Four servant. Well." had the whip-hand all the way-lay with my nose in his flank, under the wind, thus-snug, snuy, my great scandal for a soldier to be in love is time dear, quite in hand; while Riot was digging and war: I strive to keep her out of my mind, b. lapping, right and left; but it would not do, my comes in. I am upon the forlorn-bope here,

can't; the more I strive to do it, the more dear, against foot, bottom, and head: so, within a hundred yards of the distance-post, poor Dick must e’en make my push with rigour at once. knocked up, as stiff as a turnpike, and left me to

Enter CHARLOTTE. canter in by myself, and to touch them all round, Char. Sir Callaghan, your servant. Ha! took the odds.

Sir C. Madam, I humbly beg your pardna $: Sir A. Weel, it is wonderful to think to what a not seeing of you sooner ; but I was speaking a pitch of axcellence oor nobeelity are arrived at in liloquy to myself, about your ladyship, and tha: the art of sporting; I believe we axcel a' the no- kept me from observing you. beelity in Europe in that science, especially in Char. Sir Theodore told me you sapted to speak jockeyship.

to me upon some particular business. Groom. Sir Archy, I'll tell you what I'll do : I Sir C. Why lookye, madan, for ny part, I 73 will start a horse, fight a main, hunt a pack of never born or bred in a school of compliment hounds, ride a match or a fox chace, drive a set of where they learn fine bows and fine speeches. It horses, or hold a toast, with any nobleman in Eu- in an academy where heads, and legs, and are rope, for a thousand each, and I say done first. and bullets, dance country-dances with All. Ha, ha, ha!

owner's leave, just as the fortune of war der Sir A. Why, I ken ye wull, and I wull gang yer therefore, madam, all that I can say to you a halves. Why, madam, the 'Squire is the keenest your eyes have made me prisoner of war; sportsman in a' Europe. Madam, there is naething Cupid has made a garrison of my heart, s. comes amiss till him, he wull fish, or fowl, or hunt; me to devilish hard daty; and if you eat leir he hunts everything, everything frae the flae i’the me, I shall be a dead man before I seen tur blanket to the elephant in the forest. He is at a' Char. But, Sir Callaghan, among used a perfect Nimrod; are ye not, 'Squire ?

toms of love, you have forgot to mentionnel "Groom. Yes, d-e, I'm a Nimrod, madam; at I am told is very elegant, and very povertal all, at all; anything, anything. Why, I ran a snail Sir C. Pray, what is that, madam i with his grace, the other day, for five hundred; no- Char. A song that I hear you have szade, thing in it; won it hollow, above half a horn's length. set yourself, in the true Irish taste.

Sir A. By above half a horn's length! that was Sir C. Madam, I own I have been guy hallow, indeed, 'Squire.

turing the muses in the shape of a song, mala Groom. Oh! devilish hollow.

you will pardon my putting your Ladyship's Sir A. But where is Sir Callaghan a' this time? to it. Groom. Oh! he's with Sir Theodore, who is Char. Upon one condition I will, which joking him about his drinking bumpers with me, you will do me the favour to let me hear yuran and his passion for you, madam.

Sir C. Oh! dear madam, don't az er: Sir 4. Ye mun ken, gentlemen, this lady and I foolish song; a mere bagatelle. hac laid a scheme to hae a little sport wi' Sir Cal- Char. Nay, I must insist upon hearing ** laghan; now, if you wull stap behind that screen, expect or value the smiles, or fear the room and promise to be silent, Pn gang and fetch him, your mistress ; for, by your poetry, I shall ! and ye sall hear him make love as fierce as ony your passion. Dero in a tragedy.

Sir C. Then, madam, you shall have it,


imes worse. Hem, hem! Fal, lal, la! Enter Sir THEODORE GOODCHILD, and an Attorney. · know how I shall come about the right side of Sir T. You are the attorney concerned for the roice. Now, madam, I tell you beforehand, creditors, Mr. Atkins ? must not expect such fine singing from me as Attor. I am, Sir Theodore ; and am extremely hear at the opera; for, you know, we Irishmen sorry for the accident. tot cut out for it like the Italians.

Sir T. I am obliged to you, sir; you do but your SONG.

duty. The young lady is that way, sir; if you will

step to her, I'll follow you. (E.cit Attorney. I hope ther men sing of their goddesses bright, you will excuse me, Sir Archy; this is a sudden | darken the day and enlighten the night : and unhappy affair; I am unfit for company; I by of a woman-but such flesh and blood, must go and open it myself to poor Charlotte. nech of her finger would do your heart good.

(Erit. With my fal, lal, lal, &c.

Morde. But pray, Sir Archy, what has occasioned | times in each day to my charmer I come,

all this? ell her my passion, but can't, I'm struck dumb; Sir A. 'Faith, Mordecai, I dinna ken the partiCupid he seizes my heart by surprise,

culars : but it seems, that he and a rich merchant my tongue falls asleep at the sight of her eyes. in Holland (his partner, and joint guardian over little dog Pompey's my rival, I see ;

this girl,) are baith bankrupts ; and, as the lawyer kisses and hugs him, but frowns upon me :

that is withoot there confirms, have failed for above in prythee, my Charlotte, abuse not your charms,

a hundred thoosand poonds mair than they can ead of a lap-dog, take me to your arms.

Morde. But how is this to affect the young lady ? Char. Well, Sir Callaghan, your poetry is ex. Sir A. Why, sir, the greatest part of her fortune lent; nothing can surpass it but your singing. was in trade it seems, with Sir Theodore and his Sir C. Lookye, madam; to come to the point, I partner; besides, the suit in chancery, that she had pw I can't talk fine courtship, and love, and non-wi' the company for aboov forty thoosand poonds, ise, like other men ; for I don't spake from my bas been determined against her this very day; so, gue, but my heart; so that if you can take up that they are a' undone. Beggars, beggars ! ar quarters for life with a man of honour, a sin. Morde. I understand that the affair was clearly e lover, and an honest Prussian soldier, now is in her favour. ir time, I am your man. What do you say, ina- Sir A. Oh! sir, ye dinna ken the law. The law in ? Come, speak the word boldly, and take me is a sort of hocus pocus science, that smiles in yer your arms.

face while it picks yer pocket; and the glorious un. Char. Ha, ha, ha! Don't be so violent, Sir Cal- certainty of it is of mair use to the professors than the şhan; but, say a lady were inclined to do herself justice of it.--Here the parties come, and seeme honour of going before a priest with you, I sup- ingly in great affliction. se you would have so much complaisance for your Enter Sir THEODORE GOODCHILD and CHARLOTTE. ist ress, as to quit your trade of war, and live at Char. Dear sir, be patient, and moderate your me with her, were she to request it of you. sorrow; it may not be so terrible as your apprehenSir C. Why, lookye, madam, I will deal with you sions make it.' Pray, bear up. ce a man of honour in that point, too, and let you Sir T. For myself I care not; but that you to the secret. I have received the king my should be involved in my ruin, and left fortuneless ; aster's money (and a brave king ne is, I assure your fair expectations of a noble allience blasted; ju) for above seventeen years, when I had none your dignity and affluence fallen to scorn and pe ¡ my own; and now I am come to a title and for- nuryne, and that he has need of my service, I think it Char. It cannot prove so bad, sir. I will not ould look like a poltroon to leave him: no, ma- despair, nor shall you; for though the law has am, it is a rule with me, never to desert my king been so hard against me, yet, in spite of its wiles r my friend in distress.

and treachery, a competency will still remain, which Char. Your sentiment is great, I confess, I like shall be devoted to mitigate your misfortunes. Beour principles; they are noble and most heroic, sides, Sir Arehy Macsarcasm is a man of honour, ut a little too military for me. Ha, ha, ha! (Exit. and on his promise and assistance I will rely.

Sir C. What! does she decline the battle. Well, Sir 4. Wull ye ! ye may as weel rely upon the hen, I'll not quit the field yet, though; I'll recon-assistance o' the philosopher's stone.

What the Loitre her once more, and if I can't bring her into deevil, wad she mary me to tinker up the fortunes action, why, then, I'll break up the camp at once, o'broken citizens. But I wull speak till them, and ide post to Germany to-morrow morning, and so end the affair at once. (Aside.)- I am concerned to ake my leave in a passion, without saying a word. see you in this disorder, Sir Theodore.

[Erit. Char. If all the vows of friendship, honour, and Enter Sir Archy MACSARCASM and MORDECAI.

eternal love, which you have so often made me,

were not composed of idle breath, and deceitful Morde. Pr'ythee, what is the meaning of all this, ceremony, now let their truth be seen. Sir Archy ? the house seems to be in the possession Sir A. Madam, I am sorry to be the messenger of bailiffs

, and Sir Theodore looks and speaks as if o' ill tidings, but a' oor connexion is at an end. an earthquake had just happened.

Oor hoose hae heard o' my addresses till you; and Sir A. Your conjecture is very right, Mr. Mor- I hae had letters frae the dukes, the marquis, and decai; 'tis a' o'er wi' him! he is undone! a beg. a' the dignitaries o'the family, remonstrating, nay, gar, and so is the girl.

expressly prehibiting my contaminating the blood Morde. You astonish me.

of Macsarcasm wi' ony thing sprung from a hogsSir A. It is an unexpected business ; but 'tis a head or a coonting-hoose. I assure ye my passion fact, I assure ye. Here he is himsel. Poor deevil! for ye is mighty strang, madam; but I canna bring hoo dismal he looks.

disgrace upon an honourable family.

Char. No more ; your apology is baser than your looked upon myself as an unequal perfidy. There is no truth, no virtue in man! but now she is poor, and that it is in z

Sir A. Gude troth, nor in woman neither, that serve her, I find something warm about has nae fortune. But here is Mordecai: now, ma-here, that tells me I love her better tia ve dam, a wandering Eesraelite, a casualty, a mere was rich, and makes me beg she will take y. casualty, sprung frae annuities, bills, bubbles, bears, this instant, and all I bare into her service, and lottery-tickets, and can hae nae family objec- Sir T. Generous, indeed, Sir Callagha. tions. He is passionately fond of you; and till Sir C. Madam, my fortune is not much, L: this offspring of accident and mammon I resign my enough to maintain a couple of hozest bere u interest in ye.

have something to spare for the secrets Morde. Šir, I am infinitely obliged to you; but friend, which is all we want, and all that forex a-matrimony is a subject I have never thoroughly good for. considered; and I must take some time to delibe. Sir T. Here, take her, sir; she s pre's rate, before I determine upon that inextricable bu- what you first thought her, mistress of a sude is siness : besides, madam, I assure you, my affairs tune. are not in a matrimonial situation.

Groom. What ? Char. No apology, sir. Begone! I despise you Morde. How's this? and your apology.

Sir A. Gently! hush! saftly! be is hy Enter 'SQUIRE Groom.

him in, he is taking him in! the babble's a:

Sir T. And had she millions, your prix Groom. Hoics! hoics! What's the matter here? What is all this? What, are we all at fault? Is this serve her : she has a heart, loring and peas true, Sir Theodore ? I hear that you and the filly and tempered to your warmest wishes.

your own, which your roanly virtue basse bave both run on the wrong side of the post. Sir T. It is too true; but I hope, sir, that will

Sir C. Pray, Sir Theodore, what does <3 make no alteration in your affection.

mean? Are you in jest, or in eerbest? B-3 Groom. Harkye ! Sir Theodore, I always make honour, I don't know how to understand the my match according to the weight my thing can you say. First, she has a fortune, then she carry. When I offered to take her into my stable, no fortune; and then she has a great fortane ar she was sound, and in good case ; but I hear her this is just what the little jackanapes about us wind is touched; if so, I would not back her for a

call humbugging a man. shilling. Matrimony, Sir Theodore, is a cursed

Sir 7. Sir, I am serious. long course ; devilish heavy and sharp turnings.

Sir C. And, pray, wbat are you, madam? An It won't do ; can't come through, my dear; can't you serious, too, or in joke?

Char. Such as I am, sir, if you dare resture come through.

Sir 4. I think, 'Squire, ye judge very nicely. upon me for life, I am your's. Nuo, in my thoughts, the best thing the lady can will venture upon you, not only for life, but

Sir C. By the integrity of my honour, maden: do is to snap the Irishman.

Morde. Well observed, Sir Archy. Snap him, death, too! which is a great deal longer thae lit, snap him, madam! Hush! he's here. Enter Sir CallagHAN O'BRALLAGHAN.

Sir T. I hope, nephew, you will erekse sie de.

ceit of my feigned bankruptes, and the pretended Sir A. Ha! my gude friend, Sir Callaghan, I ruin of the lady's fortune : it was a scheme detised kiss yer hand. I hae been speaking to the lady wi' to detect the illiberal

, selfish views of prodigal, a' the eloquence I hae: she is enamoured o' yer who never address the fair but as the mercenary person, and ye are just come i'the nick to receive lure attracts; a scheme to try and reward your pas her heart and her hand.

sion, which hath shewn itself proof against the time Sir C. By the honour of a soldier, madam, I shall infection. think that a greater happiness than any that for- Sir C. 'Faith, then, it was no bed piece of ges tune can bestow upon me.

ralship in you. But now she has surrendered is Sir A. Come, come, madam; true love is impa- self prisoner of war, I think I have a right to sa tient, and despises ceremony; gie him yer hand at her under contribution ; for your kisses are la

plunder, and mine by the laws of love. (Rizal Char. No, sir; I scorn to deceive a man who Upon my honour, her breath is as see as the offers me his heart : though my fortune is ruined, sound of a trumpet. my mind is untainted; even poverty shall not per- Groom. Why, the knowing ones are alles : vert it to principles of baseness.

here; double-distanced. Zounds! se bas res: Sir C. Fortune ruined! Pray, Sir Theodore, crimp upon us. what does the import of this language mean ? Morde. She has jilted us confounded”.

Sir T. The sad meaning is, Sir Callaghan, that, Sir A. By the cross o' St. Andrewbe in the circuit of Fortune's wheel, the lady's station venged; for I ken a lad of an honorable f is reversed : she who, some hours since, was on the that understands the auncient classics in highest round, is now degraded to the lowest : this, perfection ; he is writing a comedy, and he sulle sir, has turned the passion these gentlemen pro- sinuate baith their characters intill it. fessed for her into scorn and ridicule, and I suppose Morde. And I will write a satire upon be will cool the fervency of your's.

which she shall have an intrigue with a lite pas Sir C. Sir Theodore, I assure you, I am heartily man and an opera-singer. glad of her distress.

Groom. I can't write ; but ru tell you se na Sir T. Sir?

do I'll poison her parrot, and cut of her ApaTÈI Sir C. When she was computed to have a hun. tail, de! dred thousand pounds, I loved her 'tis true; but it was with fear and trembling, like a man that loves my leave for all this. If you touch a hair et

Sir C. Harkye! gentlemen, I hope you in to be a soldier, yet is afraid of a gun; because 1 parrot's head, or a feather of the squirrel's stie

you know.


rou write any of your nonsensical comedies or bespoken bis nuptial chariot and a' his leeveries , poons, I shall be after making bold to make a and, upon honour, I am very sorry for my gude

remarks on your bodies. Ha! I have an ex. friend the 'Squire here; the lady's fortin wad hae ent pen by my side, that is a very good critic, been very convenient till him, fór I fancy he is fet

that can write a very legible hand upon imper- lock deep in the turf: and, upon honour, I am nt authors.

sorry for the lady, for she has missed being matched ir A. Hoot awa! noot awa! Sir Callaghan, intill the house of Macsarcasm, which is the greatna talk in that idle manner, sir; oor swords are est loss of a'. sharp and as responsible as the swords of ither Sir C. The whole business together is something

But this is nae time for sic matters ; ye hae like the catastrophe of a stage play, where knaves the lady, and we hae got the willows. I am and fools are disappointed, and honest men rery fo- the little Girgishite here, because he has/ warded.


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ing upon the whimsical, have given a peculiar turn fair one's feet, and would have married ige to the manners of the neighbourhood, that, in my but that Oldworth insisted upon a praktang opinion, degrades the polish of courts-but judge of months' absence-It has been a purgator the original.

Dupe. I should like to see the woma's

entangle me in this manner. Shew 2 Enter OLDWORTH.

man, from an Italian princess, to a figure 1 Mr. Oldworth, I present you my friend; he is just Prench opera ; and, at the first glance, 15. arrived from abroad; I will not repeat how much be cover the whole extent of their artifire £1 is worthy of your friendship.

true lure, and bring them to my haiweze i Old. To be worthy of your's, Sir Harry, is the

a tame sparrow. best recommendation. (To DUPELEY.] Sir, your Sir H. And pray, my sagacions friend friend is going to receive from my hands a lovely what circumstances have you formed yes girl, whose merit he has discerned and loved for its that I am more likely to be imposed upec own sake: such nuptials should recall the ideas of a self? better age : he has permitted me to celebrate them

Dupe. Upon every one I have seen als upon my own plan, and I shall be happy to receive but, above all

, upon that natural propeasty at the judgment of an accomplished critic.

true home-bred Englishman, to think one Dupe. Sir, by what I already see of Oldworth's different from another. Now, I bold there. Oaks, and know of the character of the master, I one woman in the world. am persuaded the talent most necessary for the com

Sir H. I perfectly agree, and Maria is 1 pany will be that of giving due praise.

charming one. Enter Hurry.

Dupe. Ay; but Maria, and Lady Bab, an! P: Hur. Lord! sir, come down to the building di-that steals a heart in a country church, and so

mela Andrews, and Clarissa Harlowe, and trectly; all the trades are together by the ears; it is for all the world like the tower of Babylon; they picks your pocket in Corent-garded, are : have drove a broad-wheel waggon over two hampers quick for them, and make fools of them Erst

. Cal

the same creature for all that; I am always of wine, and it is all running among lilies and do but try them by the principle I have laid dos of the clouds, and threw a ham and chickens into a you'll find them as transparept as glass. tub of white-wash; a lamp-lighter spilt a gallon of just as well ; with that perspective I have

Sir H. My own principle will answer my pert oil into a creamed apple-tart; and they have sent for more roses, and there is not one left within through the woman, and discorered the angel

you will do the same when you see her, or : twenty miles.

old. Why, honest Hurry, if there is none to be brag of your eye-sight more. had, you need not be in such haste about them. Dupe. Rhapsody and enthusiasm! I ser?

soon discover Mahomet's seventh beaten. Ba: Mercy on us ! my fête has turned this poor fellow's head already; he will certainly get a fever.

says your uncle, old Groveby, to this match Hur. Get a favour, sir! why, there has not been and why should I? when I know what not be

'Sir H. 'Faith! I have asked him ao quesit one left these three hours; all the girls in the parish have been scrambling for them, and I must get a hundred yards more. Lord ha' mercy! there is so that soars above the stars.

Dupe. Oh! he can never disapprute a pass.. much to do at once, and nobody to do it, that it is enough to moider one's head. If you loiter longer, worldly knowledge; the common old gaisa

Sir H. He has all the prejudices of bis years ..! sir, they will all be at loggerheads; they were very character-you may see it in every drama : near it when I came away.

(Erit. old. I forgot to tell you, Sir Harry, that Lady | not

, perhaps, with quite so much good hape

the days of Terence to those of Congrere; • Bab Lardoon is in the neighbourhood, and I expect so little obstinacy as my uncle shens. He her every moment. Dupe. Who is she, pray ?

most impetuous when most kind; and I de Sir H. Oh! she's a superior ! a phoenix! more

his resentment will end with a dramatic Sorg.re. worthy your curiosity than any object of your tra.

Re-enter Hurry. vels. She is an epitome, or rather a caricature, of what is called very fine life, and the first female

Hur. Lord! sir, I am out of breath is gamester of the time.

why, almost everything is ready excesa Oud. For all that, she is amiable : one cannot help and madam Maria is gone to the grose, ai: her heart and understanding, though she is an ex- find out this gentleman's servant, and shes : discerning and admiring the natural cxcellence of so dressed, and looks so charming?

Sir H. Propitious be the hour! Here, 3. ample that neither is proof against a false education, where he is to dress. or a rage for fashionable excesses. But when you see her, she will best explain herself. This fellow

Dupe. Oh! I shall be time enough: Hurt will give me no rest.

first shew me a little of the preparation. Was going forward here?

{Approaches ike ni Re-enter HURRY.

Hur. Hold! sir, not that way; my name Hur. Rest, sir! why, I have not slept this fort- nobody see his devices and figaries there. night: come along, sir; pray, make haste; nothing's Dupe. Why, what is he doing there, Hart to be done without it.

Hur. Doing! as you are a gentleman, Ik. Old. Nor with it, honest Hurry.

you what he is doing- I hope nobody brun

(Exit with HURRY. (Looking about.) Why, he is going to make u Dupe. Pr’ythee, Sir Harry, how came your ac- sun shine at midnight, and he is covering ist! quaintance in this odd family?

thousand yards of sail-cloth, for fear the rain she Sir H. By mere chance : suffice it that I came, put it out. Lord ! such doings! Here, this wa, saw, and loved. I laid my rank and fortune at the your honour.


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