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LOVE FOR LOVE;

COMEDY IN FIVE ACTS;

BY WILLIAM CONGREVE

DRAMATIS PERSONE

SIR SAMPSON LEGEND
VALENTINE

BEN

SCANDAL

TATTLE

FORESIGHT 4
JEREMY
TRAPLAN
SNAP.

MRS. FORESIGHT
MRS. FRAIL

MISS PRUE

ANGELICA

Nurse

JENNY

Servants.

ACT I.

SCENE I-Valentine's Lodgings. VALENTINE discovered reading; JEREMY waiting. Several books upon the table.

Val. Jeremy!
Jer. Sir?

Val. Here, take away; I'll walk a turn, and digest what I have read. [Rises, Jer. You'll grow devilish fat upon this paper diet! [Aside, and taking away the books. Val. And, d'ye hear? go you to breakfast: there's a page doubled down in Epictetus, that is a feast for an emperor Jer. Was Epictetus a real cook, or did he only write receipts

Val. Read, read, sirrah, and refine your appetite; learn to live upon instruction; feast your mind, and mortify your flesh. Read, and take your nourishment in at your eyes; shut up your mouth, and chew the cud of understanding: so Epictetus advises.

Jer. Oh, lord! I have heard much of him, when I waited upon a gentleman at Cambridge, Pray, what was that Epictetus?

Val. A very rich man-not worth a groat

Jer. Humph! and so he has male a very f feast, where there is nothing to be eaten? Val. Yes.

Jer. Sir, you're a gentleman, and probably derstand this fine feeding; but, if you please, I ha rather be at board-wages Does your Epictetus your Seneca here, or any of these poor rich rogues teach you how to pay your debts without money will they shut up the months of your creditors? wi Plato be bail for you? or Diogenes, because he derstands confinement, and lived in a tub, go prison for you? "Slife! sir, what do you mean, mew yourself up here with three or four books, in commendation of starving and poverty!

Val. Why, sirrah, I have no money, you know and therefore resolve to rail at all that have: in that I but follow the examples of the wisest wittiest men in all ages-these poets and phil phers, whom you naturally hate, for just such other reason; because they abound in sense, you are a fool.

Jer. Ay, sir, I am a fool, I know it; an heaven help me! I'm poor enough to be ad I was always a fool, when I told you what your penses would bring you to; your coaches and liveries; your treats and your balls; your being love with a lady, that did not care a farthing you in your prosperity; and keeping company w wits, that cared for nothing but your prosperity, now when you are poor, hate you as much as they

do one another.

Val. Well! and now I am poor, I have an portunity to be revenged on them all; I'll pus Angelica with more love than ever, and apper more notoriously her admirer in this restraint when I openly rivalled the rich fops that made cus to her. So shall my poverty be a mortification her pride, and perhaps make her compassionate love, which has principally reduced me to this ness of fortune. And for the wits, I'm sure la in a condition to be even with them.

Jer. Nay, your condition is pretty even theirs, that's the truth on't.

Val. I'll take some of their trade out of hands.

Jer. Now heaven of mercy continue the tar paper! You don't mean to write?

Val. Yes, I do; I'll write a play
Jer Hem! Sir if you please to give me a

rtificate of three lines; only to certify those to
hom it may concern, "That the bearer hereof,
eremy Fetch by name, has, for the space of seven
ears, truly and faithfully served Valentine Legend,
quire; and that he is not now turned away for
y misdemeanor, but does voluntarily dismiss his
aster from any future authority over him."
Val. No, sirrah! you shall live with me still.
Jer. Sir, it's impossible; I may die with you,
arve with you, or be damned with your works: but
› live, even three days, the life of a play, I no
ore expect it, than to be canonized for a muse
fter my decease.

Val. You are witty, you rogue; I shall want your elp. I'll have you learn to make couplets, to tag the end of acts. D'ye hear? get the maids to rambo in an evening, and learn the knack of hyming; you may arrive at the height of a song ent by an unknown hand, or a chocolate-house ampoon.

Jer. But, sir, is this the way to recover your ather's favour? Why, Sir Sampson will be irreoncilable. If your younger brother should come rom sea, he'd never look upon you again. You're ndone, sir; you're ruined; you won't have a friend eft in the world, if you turn poet: I never think of he trade but the spirit of famine appears to me; ometimes like a decayed porter, worn out with imping, and carrying billet-doux and songs; not ike other porters, for hire, but for the jest's sake: 10w like a thin chairman, melted down to half his oroportion, with carrying a poet upon tick, to visit ome great fortune; and his fare to be paid him, ike the wages of sin, either at the day of marriage, or the day of death.

Enter SCANDAL.

Scand. What! Jeremy holding forth? Val. The rogue has (with all the wit he could muster up) been declaiming against wit.

Scand. Ay! Why, then, I'm afraid Jeremy has wit: for wherever it is, it's always contriving its own ruin.

Jer. Why so I have been telling my master, sir. Mr. Scandal, for heaven's sake! sir, try if you can dissuade him from turning poet.

Scand. Poet! he shall turn soldier first, and rather depend upon the outside of his head, than the lining! Why, what the devil! has not your poverty made you enemies enough? must you needs shew your wit to get more?

Jer. Ay, more indeed; for who cares for anybody that has more wit than himself?

Scand. Jeremy speaks like an oracle. Don't you see how worthless great men and dull rich rogues avoid a witty man of small fortune? Why he looks, like a writ of inquiry, into their titles and estates; and seems commissioned by heaven to seize the better half.

stage of Athens, and be allowed the force of open honest satire.

Val. You are as inveterate against our poets, as if your character had been lately exposed upon the stage. Nay, I am not violently bent upon the trade. [A knock.] Jeremy, see who's there. [Exit JEREMY.] But tell me what you would have me do? What does the world say of me, and my forced confinement?

Scand. The world behaves itself, as it uses to do on such occasions. Some pity you, and condemn your father; others excuse him, and blame you. Only, the ladies are merciful, and wish you well; since love and pleasurable expense have been your greatest faults

Re-enter JEREMY.

Val. How now?

Jer. Nothing new, sir. I have despatched some half a dozen duns with as much dexterity as a hungry judge does causes at dinner-time.

Val. What answer have you given them?

Scand. Patience, I suppose-the old receipt? Jer. No, faith, sir: I have put them off so long with patience and forbearance, and other fair words, that I was forced to tell them in plain downright English

Val. What?

Jer. That they should be paid.
Val. When?

Jer. To-morrow.

Val. And how the devil do you mean to keep your word?

Jer. Keep it? not at all: it has been so very much stretched, that I reckon it will break of course by to-morrow, and nobody be surprised at the matter! [Knocking] Again! Sir, if you don't like my negociation, will you be pleased to answer these yourself?

Val. See who they are. [Erit JEREMY.] By this, Scandal, you may see what it is to be great. Secretaries of state, presidents of the council, and generals of an army, lead just such a life as I do; have just such crowds of visitants in a morning, all soliciting of past promises; which are but a civiller sort of duns, that lay claim to voluntary debts.

Re-enter JEREMY.

Jer. Oh! sir, there's Trapland, the scrivener, with two suspicious fellows, like lawful footpads, that would knock a man down with pocket tipstaves; and there's your father's steward; and the nurse, with one of your children, from Twit'nam.

Val. Plague on her! could she find no other time to fling my sins in my face? Here! give her this, Gives money.] and bid her trouble me no more: bid Mr. Trapland come in. If I can give that Cerberus a sop, I shall be at rest for one day.

[Exit JEREMY.

Erit JEREMY. Trap. A good morning to you, Mr. Valentine; and to you, Mr. Scandal.

Re-enter JEREMY, with TRAPLAND. Val. Therefore, I would rail in my writings, and be revenged. [Rises. Oh! Mr. Trapland, my old friend, welcome! Jeremy, Scand. Rail! at whom? the whole world? Im- a chair quickly; a bottle of sack and a toast. Fly potent and vain! Who would die a martyr to sense,—a chair first. in a country where religion is folly? You may stand at bay for a while; but, when the full cry is against you, you sha'n't have fair play for your life. If you can't be fairly run down by the hounds, you will be treacherously shot by the huntsman. No; turn flatterer, quack, lawyer, anything but a poet: a modern poet is worse, more servile, timorous, and fawning, than any I have named; without you could retrieve the ancient honours of the name, recall the

Scand. The morning's a very good morning, if you don't spoil it.

Val. Come, sit you down: you know his way. Trap. [Sits. There is a debt, Mr. Valentine, of fifteen hundred pounds, of pretty long standing

Val. I cannot talk about business with a thirsty palate, Sirrah! the sack,

Re-enter JEREMY, with wine, ật. Trap. And I desire to know what course you have taken for the payment.

Ve Faith and truth. I am heartily glad to see you. My service to you! fill, fill, to honest Mr. Trapland-fuller!

Trap. Hoid: sweetheart, this is not to our business. My service to you, Mr. Scandal! [Drinix] I have forborne as long

Fal. Tother glass, and then we'll talk. Fill, Jeremy.

Trap. No more, in truth. I have forborne, I sar

Val. And how does your handsome daughter?Come, a good husband to her. Drinks.

Trap. Thank you-I have been out of this

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[They drink.

warm water; or I ́3 mp up is v
shortest way to his crascience.

Trap. Mr. Scandal you are
value par sack; but you cannot
when I have crank it

S-and And how do you expert money agam, when a gratioman in Fal You need say no more. I conitions; they are very hard, h very pressing: I agree to them land with you, and let him draw Trapland, you know this man; be Trap. Sincerely, I am both ti but my necessity

Val. No apology, Mr. Scrivener.

paid.

Trap. I hope you forgive me.

quires

[Exeunt TRAPLAND, Steward Scand. He begs parion, like a bangs.

Val. But I have got a reprieve. Scand. I am surprised. Waat: relent?

Trap. And, in short, I can be put off no longer.execution. Fall I was much obliged to you for your supply: it did me signal service in my necessity. But you delight in doing good. Scandal, drink to me my friend Trapland's health. An honester man lives not, nor one more ready to serve his friend in dis-in the world. You have heard of tress; though I say it to his face. Come, fill each man his glass.

Scand. What! I know Trapland has been a wencher, and loves a girl still. You never knew a wencher, that was not an honest fellow.

Trap. Fie! Mr. Scandal, you never knewScand. What don't I know? I know the buxom black widow in the Poultry-eight hundred pounds a-year jointure, and twenty thousand pounds in money. Ha, ha! old Trap!

Val. Say you so, i'faith? Come, we'll remember the widow; I know whereabouts you are; come, to the widow.

Trap. No more, indeed.

Val. What! the widow's health? off with it. [They drink.] A lovely girl, i'faith, black sparkling eyes, soft pouting ruby lips! Better sealing there, than a bond for a million, eh?

Trap. Ha, ha, ha! Verily, give me a glass.
You're a wag; and here's to the widow. Drinks.
Scand. He begins to chuckle; ply him close, or
he'll relapse into a dun.
Erit JEREMY.

Enter SNAP.

Snap. By your leave, gentlemen. Mr. Trapland, if we must do our office, tell us. We have half a dozen gentlemen to arrest in Pall-mall and Coventgarden; and if we don't make haste, the chairmen will be abroad, and block up the chocolate-houses; and then our labour's lost.

Re-enter JEREMY,

Trap. Odso! that's true. Mr. Valentine, I love mirth; but business must be done; are you ready

to

Jer. Sir, your father's steward says he comes to make proposals concerning your debts.

Fal. No; he has sent me the hard

of mine, that was sent to sea, three tas
brother, my father hears, is lan
very affectionately sends me work fIE
deed of conveyance of my rex > Hot Ite
his death, to my younger mar
ately furnish me with four tausend y
my debts and make my for. Ta
proposed before, and I refused it; b
impatience of my creditors for their mos
own impatience of confinement, and
Angelica, force me to consent.

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Scand. A very desperate demonstration of love to Angelica and I think, she has never f you any assurance of bers.

Val. "You know her temper; she never gave any great reason either of hope at depar

Scand. Women of her ary temper, as them sen dom think before they act, so they rates any light to guess at what they mean. Ba little reason to believe that a woman of tha who has had an indifference for YES MU perity, will fall in love wh your forme sides, Angelica has a great fortune of her o great fortunes either expect another great or a fool.

Re-enter JEREMY.

Jer. More misfortunes, sir!
Val. What! another dun?
Jer. No, sir; but Mr. Tattle is
you.

Val. Well, I can't help it; you must irer -
up; he knows I don't go abroad. EDZ ÁLLAN
Scand. Plague on him, I'll begone.
Val. No, pr'ythee, stay: Tattle and y
never be asunder; you are light and shata.
shew one another. He is perfectly thy -
both in humour and understanding; and as you
up for defamation, he is a mender of defamat

[Exit JEREMY. Val. Bid him come in: Mr. Trapland, send away your officer; you shall have an answer presently. Trap. Mr. Snap, stay within call. Exit SNAP Enter JEREMY and Steward, who whispers VALEN-up for in the same manner. For the rogue w

TINE.

Scand. Here's a dog now, a traitor in his wine! Sirrah! refund the sack; Jeremy, fetch him some

Scand. A mender of reputations! ay, jos * is a keeper of secrets; another virtue that be

aloud, in the posture of a whisper; and cesa man's name, while he gives you the marks person: he will forswear receiving a letter from i and, at the same time, show you her hand A

scription; and yet, perhaps, he has counterthe hand, too, and sworn to a truth. In short, a public professor of secrecy, and makes protion that he holds private intelligence. He

e.

Enter TATTLE.

t. Valentine, good morrow: Scandal, I am s-that is, when you speak well of me. and. That is, when I am your's: for while I am wn, or anybody's else, that will never happen. t. How inhuman!

1. Why, Tattle, you need not be much coned at anything that he says: for to converse Scandal, is to play at Losing Loadum; you lose a good name to him, before you can win yourself.

.

it. But how barbarous that is, and how unforte for him, that the world should think the bet. of any person for his calumniation! I thank en, it has always been a part of my character andle the reputations of others very tenderly, ed.

and. Ay, such rotten reputations as you have al with, are to be handled tenderly, indeed. at. Nay, why rotten? why should you say rotwhen you know not the persons of whom you

k? How cruel that is! cand. Not know them? Why thou never hadst with any one that was not common to all the

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at. Ha, ha, ha! nay, now you make a jest of ndeed. For there is nothing more known, than nobody knows anything of that nature of me. I hope to be saved, Valentine, I never exposed oman, since I knew what woman was.

al. And yet you have conversed with several ? "at. To be free with you, I have; I don't care if wn that; nay, more, (I'm going to say a bold -d, now,) I never could meddle with a woman, t had to do with anybody else.

Scand, How!

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Tat. Not a word, as I hope to be saved; an arrant lapsus lingua! Come, let us talk of something else. Val. Well! but how did you acquit yourself? Tat. Pooh, pooh! nothing at all; I only rallied with you. A woman of ordinary rank was a little jealous of me, and I told her something or other, faith! I know not what. Come, let's talk of something else. L Hums a song. Scand. Hang him! let him alone; he has a mind we should inquire.

Tat. Valentine, I supped last night with your mistress, and her uncle, old Foresight: I think your father lies at Foresight's.

Val. Yes.

Tat. Upon my soul, Angelica's a fine woman! And so is Mrs. Foresight, and her sister, Mrs. Frail. Scand. Yes; Mrs. Frail is a very fine woman;, we all know her.

Tat. Oh that is not fair.

Scand. What?

Tat. To tell

Scand. To tell what? Why, what do you know of Mrs. Frail?

Tat. Who, I? Upon honour, I don't know whether she be a man or a woman; but by the smoothness of her chin, and roundness of her hips. Scand. No!

Tat. No.

Scand. She says otherwise.

Tat. Impossible!

Scand. Yes, faith! Ask Valentine else.

Tat. Why, then, as I hope to be saved, I believe a woman only obliges a man to secrecy, that she may have the pleasure of telling herself."

Scand. No doubt on't. Well, but has she done you wrong or no? You have succeeded with her, eh?

Tat. Though I have more honour than to tell first, I have more manners than to contradict what a laly has declared.

Scand. Well, vou own it?

Tat. I am strangely surprised! Yes, yes; I cannot deny it, if she taxes me with it.

Scand. She'll be here by-and-by; she sees Valen

Scand. What think you of that noble commoner, tine every morning.

rs. Drab?

Tat. Pooh! I know Madam Drab has made her ags in three or four places, that I said this and at, and writ to her, and did I know not what t, upon my reputation, she did me wrong. Well, ll! that was malice; but I know the bottom of it. he was bribed to that by one we all know-a man, o-only to bring me into disgrace with a certain oman of quality

Scand. Whom we all know.

Tal. No matter for that. Yes, yes; everybody nows! no doubt on't, everybody knows my secrets! ut I soon satisfied the lady of my innocence; for told her: "Madam, (says I,) there are some perons who make it their business to tell stories, and ay this and that of one and the other, and everyning in the world; and, (says I,) if your graceScand. Grace!

Tat. Oh, lord! what have I said? My unlucky ongue!

Val. Ha, ha, ha!

Scand. Why, Tattle, thou hast more impudence han one can in reason expect: I shall have an esteem for thee. Well, and ha, ha, ha! well, go on; and what did you say to her grace?

Val. I confess this is something extraordinary.

Tat. How?

Val. She does me the favour-I mean, of a visit sometimes. I did not think she had granted more to anybody.

Scand. Nor I, faith! But Tattle does not use to belie a lady; it is contrary to his character. How one may be deceived in a woman, Valentine!

Tat. Nay, what do you mean, gentlemen?
Scand. I'm resolved I'll ask her.

Tat. Oh, barbarous! Why did you not tell me-
Scand. No; you told us.

Tat. And bid me ask Valentine?

Val. What did I say? I hope you won't bring me to confess an answer, when you never asked me the question.

Tat. But, gentlemen, this is the most inhuman proceeding

Val. Nay, if you have known Scandal thus long, and cannot avoid suca a palpable decoy as this was; the ladies have a fine time, whose reputations are in your keeping.

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Tat. I'll begone.

Val. You'll meet her.

Tat. Is there not a back way?

Val. If there were, you have more discretion than to give Scandal such an advantage; why, your running away will prove all that he can tell her.

Tat. Scandal, you will not be so ungenerous. Oh! I shall lose my reputation of secrecy for ever. I shall never be received but upon public days; and my visits will never be admitted beyond a drawingroom: I shall never see a bed-chamber again, never be locked in a closet, nor run behind a screen, or under a table; never be distinguished among the waiting-women by the name of trusty Mr. Tattle more. You will not be so cruel?

Val Scandal, have pity on him; he'll yield to any conditions.rett,

Tat. Any, any terms!

Scand. Come, then, sacrifice half a dozen women of good reputation to me presently. Come, where are you familiar? And see that they are women of quality, too; the first quality.

Tat. Tis very hard. Won't a baronet's lady pass? Scand. No nothing under a right honourable.. Tat. Oh, inhuman? You don't expect their

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Mrs. F. You are the most mistaken in the world; there is no creature perfectly civil, but a husband: for in a little time, he grows only rude to his wife; and that is the highest good breeding, for it begets his civility to other people. Well, I'll tell you news; but I suppose you heard your brother Benjamin is landed; and my brother Foresight's daughter is come out of the country: I assure you, there's a match talked of by the old people. Well, if he be but as great a sea beast, as she is a land monster,

we shall have a most amphibious brest gedy will be all otters: he has been int and she has never been out of the cominy Val. Plague take them! their conjunctie no good, I'm sure.

Mr. F. Now you talk of conjunction, my de Foresight has cast both their nativities, al nosticates an admiral, and an eminent jude peace, to be the issue male of their two bod the most superstitious old fool! He well persuaded me that this was an unlucky day would not let me come abroad: but I'm dream, and sent him to Artemidorus ir i tation, and so stole out to see you. Well will you give me now? what will you gom M Tattle?

Tat. I? My soul, madam.

Mr. F. Pooh! no, I thank you; I have e to do to take care of my own. Well; but Flam and see you one of these mornings: I hear yn have a great many pictures.

Tat. I have a pretty good collection of your s vice; some originals.

Scand. Hang him! he has nothing but the Sto sons, and the Twelve Casars, paltry ogies; the Five Senses, as ill-represented as they himself; and he himself is the only original yu will see there.

Mrs. F. Ay, but I hear he has a clueet of beautis Scand. Yes; all that have done him farms, you will believe him.

Mrs. F. Ay! let me see those, Mr. Tattle. Tat. Oh! madam, those are sacred to love and contemplation. No man but the painter and a self was ever blest with the sight.

Mrs. F. Well, but a woman

Tat. Nor woman, till she consented to have be picture there, too; for then she is obliged to keep the secret.

Scand. No, no! come to me if you'd see p tures.

Mrs. F. You?

Scand. Yes, faith! I can shew you your on picture, and most of your acquaintance, to the life and as like as at Kneller's.

Mrs. F. Oh! lying creature! Valentine, de not he lie? I can't believe a word he says.

Val. No, indeed; he speaks truth now; for, Tattle has pictures of all that has granted him vours, he has the pictures of all that has refused him; if satires, characters, and lampoons are

tures.

Scand. Yes; mine are most in black and white; and yet there are some set out in their true colours both men and women. I can show you pride, fully affectation, wantonness, inconstancy, covetousness dissimulation, malice, and ignorance, all in piece. Then, I can shew you lying, foppery, nity, cowardice, bragging, and ugliness, in anoth piece: and yet one of these is a celebrated beasty and t'other a professed bean. I have some hier glyphics, too.

Mrs. F. Come, let's hear them.

Scand. I have a lawyer with a hundred bank two heads, and but one face; a divine, with faces, and one head; and I have a soldier, with brains in his belly, and his heart where his be should be.

Tat. And no head?

Scand. No head.

Mrs. F. Pooh! this is all invention. Wall, come, if it be but to disprove you.

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