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Mrs. C. Ha! ha! ba! how I bate to hear you Crab. Yes, and she is a curious being to pretend talk so ! But surely now, her sister is, or was, to be censorious—an awkward gawky, without any very handsome.
one good point under heaven. Crab. Who? Mrs. Evergreen? O Lord! she's Mrs. C. Positively, you shall not be so very sesix-and-lfiy if she's an hour !
Miss Sallow is a near relation of mine by Mrs. C. Now positively you wrong her; fifty-two marriage, and as for her person, great allowance is or fifty-three is the utmost-and I don't think she to be made; for, let me tell you, a woman labours looks more.
under many disadvantages who tries to pass for a Sir B. Ah! there's no judging by her looks, girl at six-and-thirty. unless one could see her face.
Lady S. Though, surely, she is handsome still Lady S. Well, well, if Mrs. Evergreen does take and for the weakness in her eyes, considering how some pains to repair the ravages of time, you must much she reads by candlelight, it is not to be won. allow she effects it with great ingenuity; and dered at. surely that's better than the careless manner in Mrs. C. True, and then as to her manner; upon which the widow Ocbre calks her wrinkles. my word, I think it is particularly graceful, consi
Sir B. Nay, now, Lady Sneerwell, you are se- dering she never had the least education ; for you vere upon the widow. Come, come, 'tis not that know her mother was a Welsh milliner, and her she paints so ill—but when she bas finished her father a sugar-baker at Bristol. face, she joins it on so badly to her neck, that she Sir B. Ah! you are both of you too good-nalooks like a mended statue, in which the connois. tured! seur may see at once that the head is modern, Sir P. Yes damned good-natured! This their though the trunk 's antique.
own relation, mercy on me!
[ Aside. Crab. Ha! ha! ha! Well said, nephew!
Sir B. And Mrs. Candour is of so moral a turn. Alrs. C. Ha! ha! ha! Well, you make me Mrs. C. Well, I will never join in ridiculing a laugh; but I vow I hate you for it. What do you friend; and so I constantly tell my cousin Ogle : think of Miss Simper?
and you all know what pretensions she has to be Sir B. Why she has very pretty teeth.
critical on beauty. Lady T. Yes, and on that account, when she is Crab. O to be sure! she has herself the oddest neither speaking or laughing (which very seldom countenance that ever was seen; 'tis a collection bappens), she never absolutely shuts her mouth, of features from all the different countries of the but leaves it always on a jar, as it were,-thus. globe.
[Shows her teeth. Sir B. So she has, indeed-an Irish front-Mrs. C. How can you be so ill-natured?
Crab. Caledonian locks Lady T. Nay, I allow even that's better than the Sir B. Dutch nosepains Mrs. Prim takes to conceal her losses in Crab. Austrian lipsfront. She draws ber inouth till it positively re- Sir B. Complexion of a Spaniard sembles the aperture of a poor's box, and ali ber Crab. And teeth à la Chinois. words appear to slide out edgewise, as it were, Sir B. In short, her face resembles a table d'hôte tbus- How do you do, madam? Yes, madam. [Mimics. at Spa-where no two guests are of a nation
Lady S. Very well, Lady Teazlo; I see you can Crab. Or a congress at the close of a general war be a little serere.
-wherein all the members, even to her eyes, apLady T. In defence of a friend it is but justice. pear to have a different interest, and her nose and But here comes Sir Peter to spoil our pleasantry. chin are the only parties likely to join issue.
Mrs.C. Ha! ha! ba!
Sir P. Mercy on my life!-a person they dine Sir. P. Ladies, your most obedient. Mercy on with twice a week.
[ Aside. me! here is the whole set! a character dead at Mrs. C. Nay, but I vow you shall not carry the every word, I suppose.
[Aside. laugh off so-for, give me heave to say, that Mrs. Mrs. C. I am rejoiced you are come, Sir Peter. OgleThey have been so censorious--they'll allow good Sir P. Madam, madam, I beg your pardonqualities to nobody.
there's no stopping these good gentlemen's Sir P. That must be very distressing to you, in- tongues. But when I tell you, Mrs. Candour, that deed, Mrs. Candour.
the lady they are abusing is a particular friend of Mrs. C. Not even good-nature to our friend Mrs. mine, I hope you'll not take her part. Pursy.
Lady S. Ha! ba! ha! Well said, Sir Peter! Lady T. What, the fat dowager who was at Mrs. but you are a cruel creature,--00 phlegmatic yourQuadrille's last nigbt!
self for a jest, and too peevish to allow wit in Mrs. C. Nay, but her bulk is her misfortune; others. and when she takes such pains to get rid of it, you Sir P. Ah! madam, true wit is more nearly al. caght not to reflect on her.
lied to good-nature than your ladyslip is aware of. Lady S. That's very true, indeed.
Lady T. True, Sir Peter; I believe they are so Lady T. Yes, I know she almost lives on acids near akin that they can never be united. and small whey ; laces herself by pullies; and often, Sir B. Or rather, suppose them man and wife, in the hottest noon in summer, you may see her on because one so seldom sees them together. a little squat pony, with ber hair plaited up behind Lady T. But Sir Peter is such an enemy to like a drummer's, and puffing round the Ring on a scandal, I believe he would bave it put down by
parliament. Mrs. C. I thank you, Lady Teazle, for defend. Sir P. 'Fore heaven, madam, if they were to con. ing ber.
sider the sporting with reputation of as much im. Sir P. Yes, a good defence, truly!
portance as poaching on manors, and pass an act for Mr. C. But, Sir Benjamin is as censorious as the preservation of fame, as well as game, I believe Mias Sallow,
many would thank them for the bill.
LadyS, O Lud! Sir Peter : would you deprive for me ?-Child, you are wanted in the next room. us of our privileges ?
- [Erit Mania.]-Wbat is all this, pray? Sir P. 'Ay, madam; and then no person should Joseph S. O, the most unlucky circuinstance in be permitted to kill characters and run down repu. nature ! Maria has somehow suspected the tender tations, but qualified old maids and disappointed concern I have for your bappiness, and threatened widows.
to acquaint Sir Peter with her suspicions, and I Lady S. Go, you monster!
was just endeavouring to reason with her when Mirs. C. But, surely, you would not be quite so you came in. serere on those who only report what they hear ? Lady T. Indeed! but you seemed to adopt a
Sir P. Yes, madam. I would have law merchant very tender method of reasoning-do you usually for them too; and in all cases of slander currency, argue on your knees ? whenever the drawer of the lie was not to be found, Joseph $. 0, she's a child, and I thought a little the injured parties should have a right to come on bombast.-But, Lady Teazle, when are you to give any of the indorsers.
me your judgment on my library, as rou promised? [Servant enters and whispers Sir PETER. Lady T. No, 10; I begin to think it would be Crab. Well, for my part, I believe there never imprudent, and you know I admit you as a lover no was a scandalous tale without some foundation, farther than fashion requires.
Lady S. Come, ladies, shall we sit down to cards Joseph S. True-a mere platonic cicisbeo-what in the next room?
every London wife is entitled to. Sir P[To the Servant.] I'll be with them di- Lady T. Certainly, one must not be out of the rectiy. --I'll get away unperceived. [Apart. fashion. However, I have so many of my country
[Exit Serrant. prejudices left, that, though Sir Peter's ill-humour Lady S. Sir Peter, you are not going to leave may vex me ever so, it never shall provoke me
Sir P. Your ladyship must excuse me; I'm called Joseph S. The only revenge in your power. Well away by particular business. But I leave my cha- -I applaud your moderation. racter behind me.
(Exit. Lady T. Go-you are an insinuating wretch. Sir B. Well-certainly, Lady Teazle, thac lord But we shall be missed—let us join the company. of yours is a strange being : I could tell you some Joseph S. But we had best not return together. stories of him would make you laugh heartily, if he Lady T. Well-don't stay; for Maria sba’n't were not your busband.
come to bear any more of your reasoning, I proLady T. O, pray don't mind that ;--why don't mise you.
[Exit LADY TEAŻLE. you !--come, do let's hear them.
Joseph S. A curious dilemma, truly, my politics
bave run me into! I wanted, at first, only to ingraSURFACE and Maria advance.
tiate myself with Lady Teazle, that she might not Joseph S. Maria, I see you have no satisfaction in be my enemy with Maria ; and I have, I don't know this society.
how, become her serious lover. Sincerely, I begin Maria. How is it possible I should ?-If to raise to wish I had never made such a point of gaining malicious smiles at the infirmities or misfortunes of so very good a character, for it has led me into so those who have never injured us, be the province many damu'd rogueries, that I doubt I shall be exof wit or bumour, Heaven grant me a double por- posed at last.
[Exit tion of dulness !
Joseph S. Yet they appear more ill-natured than SCENE III.-Sir Peter Teazli's. they are,--they have no malice at boort.
Enter Sir OLIVER SURFACE and RowLEY. Maria. Then is their conduct still more contemptible; for, in my opinion, nothing could ex
Sir 0. Ila! ha! ha! So my old friend is married cuse the intemperance of their tongues, but a na. hey ?-- a young wife out of the country.-Ha! ha! tural and uncontrollable bitterness of mind. ha! That he should have stood bluff to old bachelor
Joseph S But can you, Maria, feel thus for others, so long, and sink into a husband at last. and be unkind to me alone?-Is hope to be denied Pou. But you must not rally him on the subject, the tenderest passion?
Sir Oliver; 'tis a tender point, I assure you, thougla Maria. Why will you distress me by renewing he has been married only seven months. this subject ?
Sir 0. Then he has been just half a year on the Joseph S. Ab, Maria! you would not treat me stool of repentance !--Poor Peter !—But you say tłus, and oppose your guardinn, Sir Peter's will, he has entirely given up Charles,-never sees him, but that I see that profligate Charles is sull a fa-hey? voured rival.
Pow. Ilis prejudice against him is astonishing, Maria. Ungenerously urged !- But whatever and I am sure, greatly increased by a jealousy of my sentiments are for tat unfortunate young man, him with Lady Teazle, which he has been indusbe assured I shall not feel more bound to give him triously led into by a scandalous society in the up, because bis distresses have lost bim the regard neighbourhood, who have contributed not a little to even of a brother.
Charles's ill name. Whereas, the truth is, I be. Joseph S. Nay, but Maria, do not leave me with lieve, if the lady is partial to either of them, his a frown : by all that's honest, I swear. Gad's life, brother is the favourite. here's Lady Teazle !-[ Aside.)– You must not- Sir 0. Ay, I know there are a set of malicious, no, you shall not-for, though I have the greatest prating prudent gossips, both male and female, regard for Lady Teazle
who murder characters to kill time; and will rob a Maria. Lady Teazle !
young fellow of his good name, before hic has years Joseph S. Yet, were Sir Peter to suspect,
to know the value of it.—But I am not to be pre
judiced against my nephew by such, I promise you. Enter Lady TEAZLE.
-No, no,-if Charles bas done nothing false or Lady T. What is this, prny? Does be take her mean, I shall compound for his extravagance.
Row. Then, my lify on't, you will reclaim him. sorry that he has run ont of the course a little : for
-Ab, sir! it gives me new life to find that your my part, I hate to see prudence clinging to the heart is not turned against hiin; and that the son of green suckers of youth ; 'tis like ivy round a sapmy good old master has one friend, however, left. ling, and spoils the growth of the tree. [Ereunt.
Sir 0. What, shall I forget, Master Rowley, when I was at his years myself ?- Egad, my brother and I were neither of us very prudent youths ; and yet, I believe, you have not seen many better men than your old master was.
ACT III. Row. Sir, 'tis this reflection gives me assurance that Charles may yet be a credit to his family.-.
SCENE I.-Sir Peter TEAZLE's. But here comes Sir Peter.
Sir 0. Egad, so he does.—Mercy on me!-he's Enter Sir Oliver SURFACE, Sir Peter Teazle, greatly altered—and seems to bave a settled mar.
and Rowley. ried look! One may read husband in his face at this
Sir P. Well, then, we will see this fellow first, distance !
and have our wine afterwards :--but how is this, Enter Sir Peter TEAZLE.'
master Rowley? I don't see the jet of your scheme Sir P. Hah! Sir Oliver--my old friend! Wel speaking of, is nearly related to them by their mo
Row. Why, sir, this Mr. Stanley, whom I was come to England a thousand times !
ther. He was once a merchant in Dublin, but has Sir 0. Thank you-thank you, Sir Peter! and been ruined by a series of undeserved misfortunes. 'faith I am glad to find you well, believe me. Sir P. Oh! tis a long time since we met-fifteen hoth to Mr. Surface and Charles; from the former
Ile has applied, by letter, since his confinement. years, I doubt, Sir Oliver, and many a cross acci- he has received nothing but evasive promises of dent in the time.
future service, while Charles has done all that his Sir 0. Ay, I have had my sbare.-But, what! I extravagance has left him power to do; and he is, find you are married, hey, my old boy ?--Well. at this time, endeavouring to raise a sum of money, well—it can't be helped—and so- I wish you joy part of which, in the midst of his own distresses, with all my heart.
I know he intends for the service of poor Stanley. Sir P. Thank you, thank you, Sir Oliver.-Yes,
Sur 0. Ah; he is my brother's son! I have entered into - the happy state ;---but we'll
Sir P. Well, but how is Sir Oliver personally pot talk of that now. Sir 0. True, true, Sir Peter: old friends should
Row. Why, sir, I will inform Charles and his not begin on grievances at first meeting—no, no, brother, that Stanley has obtainud permi-sion to Row. Take care, pray sir.
apply personally to his friends, and as they have
neither of them ever seen him, let Sir Oliver asSir 0. Well—so one of my depliews is a wild sume bis character, and he will have a fair opporrogue, I find, hey?
tunity of judging, at least, of the benevolence of Sir P. Wild ! - Ah! my old friend, I ieve for their dispositions; and believe me, sir, you will your disappointment there ; he's a lost young man, find in the youngest brother, one, who, in the indeed. However, his brother will make you midst of folly and dissipation, has still, as our imamends; Joseph is, indeed, what a youth should mortal bard expresses it, -" a heart to pity, and a be. Everybody in the world speaks well of him.
hand, open as day, for melting charity.” Sir 0. I am sorry to bear it; he has too good a Sir P. Pshaw? What signifies his having an character to be an honest fellow. Everybody speaks open hand or purse either, when he has nothivg well of him !--Pshaw! then he has bowed as low left to give ? Well, well-make the trial, if you to knaves and fools as to the Lonest dignity of ge- please. But where is the fellow whom you trought nios and virtue.
for Sir Oliver to examine, relative to Charles's Sir P. What, Sir Oliver ! do you blame himn for affairs ? not making enemies?
Row. Below, waiting his commands, and no one Sir 0. Yes, if he has merit enough to deserve can give him better intelligence. This, Sir Oliver them.
is a friendly Jew, who, to do him justice, has done Sir P. Well, well-you'll be convince!! when every thing in his power to bring your nephew to you know him. 'Tis edification to hear him con
a proper sense of his extravagance. verse ; he professes the noblest sentiments.
Sir P. Pray let us have him in. Sir 0. Oh! plague of his sentiments! If he sa
Row. Desire Mr. Moses to walk up stairs. lotes me with a scrap of morality in his mouth, I
Sir P. But, pray, why should you suppose he thall be sick directly:-But, however, don't mis- will speak the truth? take me, Sir Peter; I don't mean to defend Charles's
Row. Oh! I have convinced him that he has no errors: but before I form my judgment of either of chance of recovering certain sums advanced to them, I intend to make a trial of their bearts; and Charles, but through the bounty of Sir Oliver, who my friend Rowley and I have planned something he knows is arrived; so that you may depend on for the purpose.
bis fidelity to his own interests : I have also another Row. And Sir Peter shall own for once he has evidence in my power, one Snake, whom I have been mistaken.
detected in a matter little short of forgery, and shall Sir P. Oh! my life on Joseph's honour.
shortly produce to remove some of your prejudices, Sir 0. Well-come, give us a bottle of good Sir Peter, relative to Charles and Lady Teazle. wide, and we'll drink the lads' health, and tell you Sir P. I have heard too much on thüt subiect. our scheme.
Row. Here comes the honest Israelite.
Enter Moses. your old friend's son. Odds my life I am not This is Sir Oliver
Sir 0. Sir, I understand you have lately had great yourself, but are forced to borrow them for him of dealings with my nephew, Charles.
friend. Moses. Yes, Sir Oliver, I lrave done all I could Sir 0, Oh ! I borrow it of a friend, do I? for him ; but be was ruined before he came to me for Moses. Yes; and your friend is an uuconscion assistance.
able dog : but you can't help that. Sir 0. That was uplucky, truly; for you have had Sir Ö. My friend an unconscionable dog, is he? no opportunity of showing your talents.
Moses. Yes, and he himself has not the monies Moses. None at all; I hadn't the pleasure of by him, but is forced to sell stock at a great loss. knowing his distresses till he was some thousands Sir 0. He is forced to sell stock at a great loss, is worse than nothing.
he? Well, that's very kind of him. Sir 0. Unfortunate, indeed !--but I suppose you Sir P. I'faith, Sir Oliver- Mr. Premium, I have done all in your power for him, honest Moses? mean,-you'll soon be master of the trade.
Moses. Yes, he knows that;-this very evening Sir O.' Moses shall give me further instructions I was to bave brought him a gentleman from the as we go together. city, who does not know him, and will, I believe,
Sir P. You will not have much time, for your advance him some money.
nephew lives hard br. Sir P. What !-one, Charles had never money
Sir 0.0! never fear: my tutor appears so able, from before?
that though Charles lived in the next street, it must Moses. YesMr. Premium, of Crutcbed-friars, be my own fault if I am not a complete rogue beformerly a broker.
fore I turn the corner. Sir P. Egad, Sir Oliver, a thought strikes me!
(Ereunt Sir Oliver SURFACE and Moses. Charles, you say, does not know Mr. Premium? Sir P. So, now, I think Sir Oliver will be conMoses. Not at all.
vinced : you are partial, Rowley, and would have Sir P. Now then, Sir Oliver, you may have a bet- prepared Charles for the other plot. ter opportunity of satisfying yourself than by an Row. No, upon my word, Sir Peter. old romancing tale of a poor relation go with my Sir P. Well, go bring me this Snake, and I'll friend Muses, and represent Premium, and then, hear what he has to say, presently. -I see Maria, I'll answer for it, you'll see your nephew in all his and want to speak with her. (Exit Rowley.] Í
should be glad to be convinced my suspicions of Sir 0. Egad I like this idea better than the other, Lady Teazle and Charles were unjust. I have nerer and I may visit Joseph afterwards as old Stanley. yet opened my mind on this subject to my friend Sir P. True-so you may.
Joseph-1 am determined I will do it-he will give Ro:v. Well, this is taking Charles rather at a me his opinion sincerely. disadvantage, to be sure ;-however, Moses, you understand Sir Peter, and will be faithful ?
Enter MARIA. Moses. You may depend upon me; Looks at his So, child, has Mr. Surface returned with you? watch.] this is near the time I was to have gone. Maria. No, sir; he was engaged.
Sir 0. I'll accompany you as soon as you please, Sir P. Well, Maria, do you not reflect, the more Moses -- But hold! I have forgot one thing—how you converse with that amiable young man, what the plague shall I be able to pass for a Jew? return his partiality for you deserves ?
Moses. There's no need-ihe principal is Chris- Maria. Indeed, Sir Peter, your frequent impor. tian.
tunity on this subject distresses me extremely-you Sir (). Is he? I'm very sorry to hear it. But compel me to declare, that I know no man who has then again, an't I rather too smartly dressed to ever paid me a particular attention, whom I would look like a money-lender?
not prefer to Mr. Surface. Sir P. Not at all; 'twould not be out of charac- Si- P. So--bere's perverseness !-No, no, Maria, ter, if you went in your own carriage,-would it, 'tis Charles only whom you would prefer. 'Tis Moses
evident his vices and follies have won your heart. Moses. Not in the least.
Maria. This is unkind, sir. You know I bare Sir 0. Well -- but how must I talk !--there's cer- obeyed you in neither seeing nor corresponding tainly some cant of usury and mode of treating that with him: I have heard enough to convince me that l ought to know.
he is unworthy my regard. et I cannot think it Sir P. O! there's not much to learn. The great culpable, if, while my understanding severely conpoint, as I take it, is to be exorbitant enough in demns bis vices, my heart suggests some pity for your demands-hey, Moses?
his distresses. Joses. Yes, thai's a very great point.
Sir P. Well, well, pity him as much as you Sir 0. I'll answer for't l'il pot be wanting in that. please; but give your heart and hand to a worthier I'll ask bim eight or ten per cent. on the loan at object. least.
Maria. Never to his brother! Moses. If you ask him no more than that, you'll Sir P. 60-perverse and obstinate! but take be discovered immediately.
care, madam; you have never yet known what the Sir 0. Hey !—what the plague !-how much authority of a guardian is : don't compel me to inthen ?
form you of it. Moses. That depends upon the circumstances. If Maria. I can only say, you shall not have just he appears not very anxious for the supply, you r-ason. 'Tis true, by my father's will, I am for a should require only forty or fifty per cent. ; but if short period bound to regard you as his substitute ; you tind him in great distress, and want the monies but must cease to think you so, when you wouid very bad, you may ask duble.
compel me to be miserable.
[Exit MARIA. Sir P. A good honest trade you're learning, Sir sir P. Was ever man so crossed as I am ? Every Oliver!
thing conspiring to fret me! I bad not been ins Sir 0. Truly, I think so—and not unprofitable. volved in matrimony a fortnight, before her father, Moses. Then, you know, you bav'n't the monies la hale and hearty man, died, on purpose, I believe, you
for the pleasure of plaguing me with the care of Sir P. There now! you want to quartel again. his daughter. [Lady Teazle sings without. But Lady T. No, I am sure I don't :--but if you will here comes my helpmale! She appears in great be so peevishgood humour. How happy I should be if I could Sir P. There now! who begins first ? tease her into loving me, though but a little ! Lady T. Why you, to be sure. I said nothing-
but there's no bearing your temper. Enter Lady l'eazie.
Sir P. No, no, madam : the fault's in your own Laay T. Lud! Sir Peter, I hope you haven't been temper. quarrelling with Maria ? It is not using me well Lady T. Ay, you are just what my cousin Sophy to be ill-bumoured when I am not by.
said would be. Sir P. Ah! Lady Teazle, you might have the Sir P. Your cousin Sophy is a forward imper. power to make me good-humoured at all times.
tinent gipsy: Lady T. I am sure I wisb I had ; for I want Lady 1. You are a great bear, I'm sure, to abuse you to be in a charming sweet temper at this mo- my relations. ment. Do be good-humoured now, and let me have Sir P. Now may all the plagues of marriage be two bundred pounds, will you ?
doubled on me, if ever I try to be friend with you Sir P. Two hundred pounds! What, an't I to be any more! in a good bumour without paying for it? But speak Lady T. So much the better. to me thus, and i'faith there's nothing I could re- Sir P. No, no, madam : 'tis evident you never fuse you. You shall have it [Gives her notes] ; but cared a pin for me, and I was a madman to marry seal me a bond for the repayment.
you-a pert, rural coquette, that bad refused half Lady T. O no—thero-my note of hand will do the honest 'squires in the neigbbourhood. as well.
[Offering her hand, Lady T. And I am sure I was a fool to marry Sir P. And you shall no longer reproach me you-an old dangling bachelor, who was single at with not giving you an independent settlement. I fifty, only because he never could meet with any mean shortly to surprise you :- but shall we always one who would have him. live thus, hey?
Sir P. Ay, ay, madam ; but you were pleased Lady T. If you please. I'm sure I don't care enough to listen to me : you never had such an offer kow soon we leave off quarrelling, provided you'll before. own you were tired first.
Lady T. No! did'nt I refuse Sir Tivy Terrier, Sir P. Well-then, let our future contest be, who who every body said would bave been a better sball be most obliging.
match? for his estate is just as good as yours, and Lady T. I assure you, Sir Peter, good nature he has broke his neck since we have been married. becomes you ---you look now as you did before we Sir P. I have done with you, madam! You are were married, when you used to walk with me an unfeeling, ungrateful—but there's an end of under the elms, and tell me stories of what a gal.every thing. I believe you capable of every thing lant you were in your youth, and chuck me under that is bad.-Yes, madam, I now believe the re the chin, you would ; and ask me if I thought I ports relative to you and Charles, madam.-Yes, could love an old fellow, wbo would deny me madam, you and Charles are—not without grounds nothing-didn't you?
Lady T. Take care, Sir Peter! you had better Sir P. Yes, yes, and you were as kind and at- not insinuate any such thing! I'll not be suspected tentive
without cause, I promise you. Lady T. Ay, so I was, and would always take Sir P. Very well, madam! very well! A seyour part, when my acquaintance used to abuse parate maintenance as soon as you please. Yes, you, and turn you into ridicule.
madam, or a divorce !-I'll make an example of Sir P. Indeed !
myself for the benefit of all old bachelors. Lady T. Ay, and when my cousin Sophy has Lady T. Agreed ! agreed !-and now, my dear called you a stiff, peevish old bachelor, and laugbed Sir Peter, we are of a mind once more, we may be at me for thinking of marrying one who miglit be the happiest couple--and never differ again, you way father, I have always defended you, and said, know-ba! ha! ha! Well, you are going to be I didn't think you so ugly by any means.
in a passion, I see, and I shall only interrupt you Sir P. Thank you.
[Esit. Lady T. And I dared say you'd make a very good Sir é. Plagues and tortures ! Can't I make her sort of a husband,
angry either! Oh, I am the most miserable fellow! Sir P. And you prophesied right; and we shall but I'll not bear her presuming to keep her temper: now be the happiest couple
no! she may break my heart, but she sha'n't keep Lady T'. And never differ again?
[Exit. Sir P. No, never !-though at the same time, indeed, my dear Lady Teazle, you must watch your SCENE II.--Charles Surface's House. temper very seriously; for in all our little quarrels, my dear, if you recollect, my love, you always
Enter Trip, Sir OlivER SURFACE, and Moses. begin first.
Trip. Here, master Moses ! if you'll stay a Lady T. I beg your pardon, my dear Sir Peter: moment, I'll try whether--what's the gentleman's indeed, you always gave the provocation.
name? Sir P. Now see, my angel! take care-contra- Sir 0. Mr. Moses, what is my name? dicting isn't the way to keep friends.
Moses. Mr. Premium. Lady T. Then don't you begin it, my love! Trip. Premium-very well. [Exit Trır.
Sir P. There, now! you--you are going on. You Sir 0. To judge by the servants, one wouldn't don't perceive, my life, that you are just doing the believe the master was ruined. But what!--sure, rery thing which you know always makes me angry. this was my brother's house?
Lady 1. Nay, you know if you will be angry Moses. Ys, sir; Mr. Charles bought it of Mr. witbout any reason, my dear
Joseph, with the furniture, pietures, &c., jus! as