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dissipation, we shall find them more sensual, more entirely devoted to pleasure, and infinitely more selfish.
• The last hostess of note I find upon record was Jane Rouse. She was born among the lower ranks of the people; and, by frugality and extreme complaisance, contrived to acquire a moderate fortune: this she might have enjoyed for many years, had she, not unfortunately quarrelled with one of her neighbours, a woman who was in high repute for sanctity through the whole parisli. In the times of which I speak, two women seldom quarrelled that one did not accuse the other of witchcraft, and she who first contrived to vomit crooked pins was sure to come off victorious. The scandal of a modern tea.table dif. fers widely from the scandal of fornier times; the fascination of a lady's eyes, at present, is regarded as a compliment; but if a lady formerly should be accused of having witchcraft in her eyes, it were much better, both for her soul and body, that she had no
eyes at all.
• In short, Jane Rouse was accused of witchcraft, and, though she made the best defence she could, it was all to no purpose; she was taken from her own bar to the bar of the Old Bailey, condemned, and executed accordingly. These were times, indeed! when even women could pot scold in safety.
• Since her time the tavern underwent several revolutions, according to the spirit of the times, or the dispositions of the reigning monarch. It was this day a brothel, and the next a conventicle for enthu. siast3. It was one year noted for harbouring whigs, and the next infamous for a retreat to tories. Some years ago it was in high vogue, but at present it seems declining. This only may be remarked in general, that whenever taverns flourish most, the times are then most extravagant and luxurious.'-' Lord, Mrs. Quickly! interrupted I, . you have really deceived me; I expected a romance, and here you have been this half-hour giving me only a description
of the spirit of the times; if you have nothing but tedious remarks to communicate, seek some other hearer; I am determived to hearken only to stories.'
I had scarce concluded, when my eyes and ears seemed opened to my landlord, who had been all this while giving me an account of the repairs he had made in the house, and was now got into the story of the cracked glass in the dining room.
ON QUACK DOCTORS.
WHATEVER may be the merits of the English in
other sciences, they seem peculiarly excellent in the art of healing. There is scarcely a disorder incident to humanity, against which our advertising doctors are not possessed with a most infallible antidote. The professors of other arts confess the inevitable intricacy of things; talk with doubt, and decide with hesitation : but doubting is entirely unknown in medicine: the advertising professors here delight in cases of difficulty ; be the disorder ever so desperate or radical, you will find numbers in every street, who, by levelling a pill at the part affected, promise a certain cure without loss of time, knowledge of a bed-fellow, or hinderance of business.
When I consider the assiduity of this profession, their benevolence amazes me. They not only, in general, give their medicines for half-value, but use the most persuasive remonstrances to iuduce the sick to come and be cured. Sure there must be somcthing strangely obstinate in an English patient, who refuses so much health upon such easy terms! Does he take a pride in being bloated with a dropsy? does he find pleasure in the alternations of an inter.
tent fever? or feel as much satisfaction in nursing up his gout, as he found pleasure in acquiring it? He must, otherwise he would never reject such repeated assurances of instant relief. What can be more convincing than the manner in which the sick are invited to be well? The doctor first begs the most earnest attention of the public to what he is going to propose; he solemnly affirms the pill was never found to want success; he produces a list of those who have been rescued from the grave by taking it. Yet, notwithstanding all this, there are many here who now and then think proper to be sick :-only sick did I say there are some who even think proper to die! Yes, by the head of Coufucius, they die! though they might have purchased the health-restoring specific for half-a-crown at every corper.
I can never enough admire the sagacity of this country for the encouragement given to the professors of this art; with what indulgence does she fóster up those of her own growth, and kindly cherish those that come from abroad! Like a skilful gardener, she invites them from every foreign climate to herself. Here every great exotic strikes as soon as imported, and feels the genial beam of favour; while the mighty metropolis, like one vast munificent duoghill, receives them indiscriminately to her breast, and supplies each with more than native nourishment.
In other countries, the physician pretends to cure disorders in the lump; the same doctor who combats the gout in the toe, shall pretend to prescribe for a pain in the head; and he who at one time cures a consumption, shall at another give drugs for a dropsy. How absurd and ridiculous! this is being a mere jack of all trades. Is the animal machine Jess complicated than a brass pin? Not less than ten different hands are 'required to make a brass pin; and shall the body be set right by one single operator?
The English are sensible of the force of this rea. soning; they have therefore one doctor for the eyes, another for the toes; they have their sciatica doctors, and inoculating doctors; they have one doctor who is modestly content with securing them from bug.bites, and five hundred who prescribe for the bite of mad dogs.
But as nothing pleases curiosity more than anecdotes of the great, however minute or trifling, I must present you, inadequate as my abilities are to the subject, with au account of one or two of those personages who lead in this honourable profession.
The first upon the list of glory is doctor Richard Rock, F. U.N. This great man is short of stature, is fat, and waddles as he walks. He always wears a white three-tailed wig, nicely combed, and frizzled upon each cheek. Sometimes be carries a cane, but a hat never: it is indeed very remarkable that this extraordinary personage should never wear a hat; but so it is, a hat he never wears. He is usually drawn, at the top of his own bills, sitting in his arme chair, holding a little bottle between his finger and thumb, and surrounded with rotten teeth, nippers, pills, packets, and gallipots. No man can promise fairer or better than he; for, as he observes,
Be your disorder never so far gone, be under no uneasiness, make yourself quite easy, I can cure you.'
The next in fame, though by some reckoned of equal pretensions, is doctor. Tiniothy Franks, F. 0. G. H. living in the Old Bailey. As Rock is remarkably squab, his great rival Franks is as remark. able tell. He was born in the year of the Christian æra 1692, and is, while I now write, exactly sixty. eight years three months and four days old. Age, however, has no ways impaired his usual health and vivacity; I am told he generally walks with his breast open. This gentleman, who is of a mixed reputation, is particularly remarkable for a becom. ing assurance, which carries him gently through
life; for, except doctor Rock, none are more blessed with the advantages of face than Dr. Franks.
And yet the great have their foibles as well as the little. I am almost ashamed to mention it. Let the foibles of the great rest in peace. Yet I must impart the whole. These two great men are actual Jy now at variance; like mere med, mere common mortals.-Rock advises the world to beware of bog. trotting quacks; Franks retorts the wit and the sarcasm, by fixing on his rival the odious appellation of Dumpling Dick. He calls the serious doctor Rock, Dumpling Dick! Head of Confucius, what profaua. tion! Dumpling Dick! What a pity, ye powers, that the learned, who were born mutually to assist in enlightening the world, should thus differ among themselves, and make even the profession ridicu. lous ! Sure the world is wide enough, at least, for two great personages to figure in: men of science should leave controversy to the little world below them; and then we might see Rock and Franks walking together, hand in hand, smiling onward to immortality.
ADVENTURES OF A STROLLING PLAYER.
I AM fond of amusement, in whatever company it
is to be found; and wit, though dressed in rags, is ever pleasing to me. I went some days ago to take a walk in St. James's Park, about the hour in which company leave it to go to dinner. There were but few in the walks, and those who staid scemed by their looks rather more willivg to forget that they had an appetite, than gain one.
1 sat down on one of the benches, at the other end of which was seated a man in very shabby clothes.