CHESTNUT-TREES* were not like his branches, nor any tree Fifteenth. And now what tree more fair than all And yet its wondrous leaves may fall To bless both you and me? Answer.-"In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river was there the TREE OF LIFE, which bare twelve manner of fruits, and yielded her fruit every month; and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations."-[Rev. xxii: 1, 2. TEMPERANCE DIALOGUE.-E. MURRAY. Room in Town Hall. A number of men consulting Chairman at Chairman.—Will you take a seat and wait a moment, please? We are making up our estimates of expenses for last year. Applicant places box down carefully at a little distance and seats himself. Committee write, consult, etc. Chairman.-Now, sir, what can we do for you? Applicant.-If you please, I would like a permit to raise and exhibit rattlesnakes. 1st. Com.-Raise what? Applicant.-Rattlesnakes, sir. 2d. Com.-What did you say? Applicant.-Yes, sir, rattlesnakes, like these, sir (lifting the box-lid a hair's breadth). All the Committee (excitedly).—Shut the lid! Shut it down! I say, sir, shut it, shut it! Chairman (sternly).—What do you mean by bringing these creatures into our council-room, sir? Old gentleman.-Don't you think-ah-that box-ah-had better be removed? *The Chestnut-tree of the Scriptures is the Plane tree, such as "The Persian adorned with mantles and jewels." 3d. Com.-Second that motion. Applicant.-But, sir, I assure you that they are perfectly harmless, if you do not meddle with them. 4th. Com.-Meddle with them! Why, man alive, what if they meddle with us? Applicant. They are in a box, no one need open it that does not choose to. 5th. Com.-Suppose they should get loose. 6th Com.-Fortunately I have an umbrella handy. Old gentleman.-Suppose-ah-with your leave, I'll openah-the door. It might be necessary-ah-to retreat precipitately. Applicant.-Your alarm is entirely unnecessary, gentle. men. Chairman.-We had better get rid of the man and his snakes together. What do you want? Applicant.-A license, gentlemen, to keep and exhibit rattlesnakes. Chairman.—Where do you intend to keep them? 1st Com.-In our council room, it appears. Applicant.-No, sir, certainly not, sir. In my store on one of the principal squares. I intend to have a show of snakes, tame ones, make a small charge, say five or ten cents for handling them, have a band of music to make it pleasant for the young people. I expect to make such a profit that I can afford to pay a good price for a license. Help to reduce your expenses, gentlemen. 2d. Com.--But what if your tame snakes should bite some of those who handle them? Applicant.-Oh, well, of course, that is the fault of the person who handles them. They should handle them gently. 3d. Com.-(Poking the box with a cane.) Are they tame now? Applicant (uneasily).-Take care, please, sir; I am not sure what temper they are in just now. What will be the price of the license, please? 4th Com.-Now, I like that. "Pretty City Fathers” you must think we are to let young people walk into a store where they can handle poisonous snakes. We would deserve to be hung as high as Haman. Applicant. But you license whiskey stores. 5th. Com.-Why, the fathers and mothers would mob us. Applicant.-But, you license 6th Com.-They would indict us, and justly, too. Applicant.-But you license whiskey Chairman.-Come, you take yourself and your snakes off. Applicant.-But you license whiskey selling, and I can prove by statistics that that poisons more people than all the snakes in the world. 1st. Com.—I move that the petitioner has leave to withdraw. Applicant. But you license 2d. Com.-I second the motion. Applicant.-Whiskey selling. Chairman.-Are you ready for the question? Applicant.-But, sir; no, sir. Committee.-Question! Question! Applicant.-Whiskey selling poisons more people Chairman.-All in the affirmative say Aye. Applicant.—Than my poor snakes. Committee.-Aye! Aye! Aye! Chairman-Negative, by the usual sign. Applicant.—But, gentlemen, why do you license whiskey selling? Chairman.-It is a vote. Applicant.-But, gentlemen, gentlemen, my rattlers are tame. Old gentleman.-Tame, fiddlesticks. 3d. Com.-Take them away, at once, sir. Applicant (snatching up the box and untying it).-Just see, gentlemen. Take care, sir. Fourth Committee tries to push him out, the box falls, and there is a general stampede, leaving old gentleman on a chair, swinging the umbrella and crying "Fire -Popular Educator. FIGHTING THE RUM-FIEND.-JULIA M. THAYER. CHARACTERS WILEY AND KETCHUM, гumsellers. LAWYER JULEP, a moderate drinker. DICK GUZZLER, a hard drinker. FRED AND WILL, students. BOYS AND GIRLS, belonging to the Cold-Water Army. SCENE.-Genteel drinking-saloon; glasses and decanters containKetchum, lounging, with a newspaper in his ing colored water. hand and hat on. Enter Wiley, with demijohn. KETCHUM. What now, Wiley; inspecting stock? Strange how I've got in the way of leaving all that to you! WILEY. That's what it is to have an enterprising partner, old man (busying himself with decanters), and one that understands the tricks of the trade. I didn't serve an apprenticeship with old Scrooge for nothing, ha! ha! ha! KETCHUM (with a puzzled look). Wiley, there's some mystery about you; I can't believe What do you mean by the tricks of the trade? You surely don't water the whisky, as old Scrooge did his molasses? WILEY. Ha ha ha! Ketchum, you're a perfect baby, and I don't know as it is best to enlighten you, for I verily believe you've got a conscience, though there is a little India rubber in it. So you didn't know that our best liquors owe their sparkle and tang to the doctoring I give them? KETCHUM. "Doctoring!" What do you mean? WILEY. Why, only a little arsenic in this, and a little copperas in that, KETCHUM. Why, those are deadly poisons! WILEY. And a little white lead, and vitriol, and opium. WILEY. And nur vomica, and cocculus indicus, and a few other harmless little things that are a great saving; and besides, that sort of liquor puts a fellow in such a condition that he can never get enough of it. KETCHUM (growing excited). Wiley, what makes you think I'd give my consent to the wholesale slaughtering of my fellow-men? You're joking, surely! WILEY. Pshaw! Ketchum, you're sanctimonious, all at once! What have you been doing ever since you were in the business? How many of the fellows who have "Rattled their bones over the stones to a pauper's funeral, got their first and last glass from you? And all right, Ketchum, for if you hadn't sold it, somebody else would. Take this for your motto: "If I don't sell the liquor, others will." KETCHUM. Bless your soul, Wiley, you needn't lay such things to my charge! Everybody has got to die, and I only do my best to make life jolly for them while it lasts; but all fair and square and honorable, mind you,,—a good article, and "scripture measure,”-those are my principles. WILEY. Principles! (Laughing immoderately.) Principles Ha! ha ha! ha! Principles! a rum-seller's principles! I didn't know they had any,─I haven't. It's my private opinion that rum is a curse, but who is responsible for its inven tion? Not you; not I. And it is a melancholy sight to see sixty thousand fine fellows, every year, reeling along to ruin; but, we can't help it, and we might as well have the profits. KETCHUM (lounging). Do stop your noise, Wiley! You make my blood run cold. I'd as lief hear a temperance lecture. Enter Lawyer Julep. JULEP. Temperance, eh! How long since you began to preach that here? WILEY. What'll you take? JULEP. A little something to keep the cold out; make it strong,—not so very strong; just a little, you know, for I'm only a moderate drinker. (Drinks.) That is good; I think I'll have another, just a little stronger and a little more of it, for I'm only a moderate drinker; but these temperance folks have been badgering me, and I'm unstrung; (drinks) yes, kind o' unstrung; yes, all unstrung. Look here (pulling out a pocket-flask); “Wind's in the east," you know; I don't believe in drinking to excess, for I'm a moderate drinker, you see. (Counts the change as Wiley fills the flask.) I always allowance myself. Good-day! (Starts off, stops and drinks from the flask.) Just a little taste, for I assure you I'm a moderate drinker. [Goes out. WILEY. Wish he'd settle down in these parts. You can rely on the custom of these moderate drinkers. KETCHUM. It strikes me, Wiley, I've seen that man be fore. Who is he? Yes, now I have it -why, that's Julep, |