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claim I had to his attention, I willingly resign to one who has a better tille.

Charles S. How, Maria !

Sir P. Hey day! what's the mystery now?--while he appeared an incorrigible rake, you would give your hand to no one else; and now that he is likely to reform , l'll warrant you won't have him.

Maria. His own heart and Lady Sneerwell know

the cause

Charles S. Lady Sneerwell! Joseph S. Brother, it is with great concern I am obliged to speak on this point, but my regard to justice compels me, and Lady Sneerwell's injuries can no lon ger be concealed.

[Opens the door. Enter Lady SNEERWELL. Sir P. So! another French milliner! Egad, he has one in every room in the house, I suppose.

Lady S. Ungrateful Charles! Well may yon be surprised, and feel for the indelicate situation your perfidy has forced me into.

Charles S. Pray, uncle, is this another plot of yours? For, as I have life, I don't undi rstand it.

Joseph S. I believe, sir, there is but the evidence of one person more necessary to make it extremely clear.

Sir P. And that person , I imagine, is Mr. Snake. Rowley, you were perfectly right to bring him with us, and pray let him appar. Row. Walk in , Mr. Snake.

Enter SNAKE. I thought his testimony might be wanted: however, it happens unluckily, that he comes to confront Lady Sneerwell, not to support her.

Lady S. A villain! Treacherous to me at last! Speak, fellow; have you, too, conspired against me ?

Snake. I beg your ladyship ten thousand pardons : you paid me extremely liberally for the lie in question ; but I, unfortunately, have been offered double to speak the truth.

Sir P. Plot and counter plot! I wish your ladyship joy of your negociatiou.

Lady S. The torments of shame and disappointment on you all!

Lady T. Hold, Lady Sneerwell: before you go, let me thank you for the trouble you and that gentleman have taken, in writing letters from me to Charles, and answering them yourself; and let me also request you to make my respects to the scandalous college, of which you are president, and inform them, that Lady Teazle, licentiate, begs leave to return the diploma they granted her, as she leaves off practice, and kills characters no longer.

Lady S. You, too, madam-provoking-insolent.-May your husband live these fifty years!

[Exit. Sir P. Oons! what a fury! Lady T. A malicious creature, indeed! Sir P. What! not for her last wish ? Lady T. O no! Sir O. Well, sir, and what have you to say now ?

Joseph S. Sir, I am so confounded, to find that Lady Sneerwell could be guilty of suborning Mr Snake in this manner, to impose on us all, that I know now what to say: however, lest her revengeful spirit should prompt her to injure my brother, I had better follow her directly. For the man who attempts to

[Exit. Sir P. Moral to the last !

Sir O. Ay, and marry her, Joseph, if you can Egad ! you'll do very well together.

Row. I believe we have no more occasion for Mr. Snake, at present.

Snake. Before I go, I beg pardon once for all, for whatever uneasiness I have been the humble instrument of causing to the parties present.

Sir P. Well, well, you have made atonement by a good deed at last.

Snake. But I must request of the company, that it shall never be known.

Sir P. Hey—What the plague !-Are you ashamed of having done a right thing once in your life?

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Snake. Ah, sir, consider, -I live by the badness of my character; and if it were once known that I had been betrayed into an honest action, I should lose every friend I have in the world.

[Exit. Sir O. Well, well; we'll not traduce you by saying any thing in your praise, never fear.

Lady T. See, sir Oliver, there needs no persuasion now to reconcile your nephew and Maria.

Sir O. Ay, ay, that's as it should be; and, egad, we'll have the wedding to morrow-morning.

Charles S. Thank you, dear uncle !

Sir P. What, you rogue! don't you ask the girl's consent first!

Charles S. Oh, I have done that a long time—a minute ago-and she has looked yes.

Maria. For shame, Charles!—I protest , sir Peter, there has not been a word.

Sir P. Well, then, the fewer the better ; -may your love for each other never know abatement !

Sir P. And may you live as happily together as Lady Teazle and I intend to do!

Charles S. Rowley, my old friend, I am sure you congratulate me; and I suspect that I owe you much.

Sir P. Ay, honest Rowley always said you would reform.

Charles S. Why, as to reforming, sir Peter, I'll make no promises, and that I take to be a proof that I intend to set about it; but here shall be my monitor-my gentle guide-Ah! can I leave the virtuous path those eyes illumine?

Though thou, dear maid , should'st wave thy beauty's
Thou still must rule, because I will obey : [sway,
An humble fugitive from Folly view,
No sanctuary near but Love and you ;

[To the audience. You can, indeed, each anxious fear remove, For even Scandal dies, if you approve.


Spoken by Lady Teazle.


I, who was late so volatile and gay,
Like a trade wind must now blow all one way,
Bend all my cares, my studies, and my vows,
To one duli rusty weathercock-iny spouse !
So wills our virtuous bard—the motley Bayes
Of crying epilogues and laughing plays !
Old bachelors, who marry smart young wives,
Learn from our play to regulate your lives :
Each bring his dear to town, all faults upon her-
London will prove the very source of honour.
Plunged fairly in, like a cold bath it serves,
When principles relax to brace the nerves:
Such is my case ; and yet I must deplore-
That the gay dream of dissipation's o’er.
And say, ye fair! was ever lively wife,
Born with a genius for the highest life,
Like untimely blasted in her bloom ?
Like me, condemn’d to such a dismal doom?
Save money-when I just knew how to waste it!
Leave London-just as I began to taste it!

Must I, then, watch the early crowing cock,
The melancholy ticking of a clock;
In a lone rustic hall for ever pounded,
With dogs, cats, rats, and squalling brats surrounded ?
With humble curate can I now retire,
(While good Sir Peter boozes with the squire,)
And at backgammon mortify my soul;
That pants for loo, or flutters at a vole?
Seven's the main ! Dear sound that must expire,
Lost at hot cockles round a Christmas fire !
The transieot hour of fashion too soon spent ,
Farewell the tranquil mind, farewell content!
Farewell the plumed head, the cushion’d tête,
That takes the cushion from its proper seat!
That spirit stirring drum !-card-drum I mean;
Spadille-odd trick-pam-basto-king and queen!

And you, ye knockers, that with brazen throat,
The welcome visitor's approach denole;
Farewell all quality of high renown,
Pride,' pomp, and circumstance of glorious town!
Farewell! your revels I partake no more,
And Lady Teazle's occupation's o'er!
All this I told our bard; he smiled, and said 't was clear,
I ought to play deep tragedy next year.
Meanwhile he drew wise morals from his play,
And in these solemn periods stalk'd away:
Blest were the fair like you ; her faults who stopt,
And closed her follies when the curtain dropt !
No more in vice or error to engage,
Or play the fool at large on life's great stage.


THERE is, perhaps, no comedy of the class in any language superior to the 'School for Scandal.' The liveliness of the dialogue, the constant, and sometimes powerful satire of the sentiments, and the variety of characters which it exhibits, give it a claim to attention, not only as an acting drama, but as one of the best commentaries on many of the passing scenes of life which can be read. Its faults are, a superabundance of wit, which sometimes renders the dialogue unnatural, and a too favourable view of one folly to correct another.



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