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he it is for whom I'm thus anxious and malicious, Lady S. Why so? and to gain whom I would sacrifice every thing? Joseph S. I have lately detected him in frequent
Snake. Now, indeed, your conduct appears con- conference with old Rowley, who was formerly my sistent : but how came you and Mr. Surface so con- father's steward, and has never, you know, been a fidential ?
friend of mine. Lady S. For our mutual interest. I have found Lady S. And do you think he would betray us ? him out a long time since. I know him to be art- Joseph S. Nothing more likely :-take my word ful, selfish, and malicious-in short, a sentimental for't, Lady Sneerwell, that fellow hasn't virtue knave; while, with Sir Peter, and indeed with all enough to be faithful eren to his own villanyhis acquaintance, he passes for a youthful miracle Ah ! Maria! of prudence, good sense, ard benevolence. Snake. Yes: yet Sir Peter vows he has not his
Enter Maria. equal in England -and above all, he praises bim Lady S. Maria, my dear, bow do you do ?as a man of sentiment.
Wbat's the matter? Lady S. True--and with the assistance of his Maria. Oh! there is that disagreeable lover of sentiment and bypocrisy, he has brought him en. mine, Sir Benjamin Backbite, has just called at my tirely into his interest with regard to Maria ; while guardian's, with his odious uncle, Crabtree; so I poor Charles Las no friend in the house, though, I slipt out, and ran hither to avoid them. fear, he has a powerful one in Maria's heart, against Lady S. Is that all ? whom we must direct our schemes.
Joseph S. If my brother Charles bad been of the Enter Servant.
party, madam, perhaps you would not have been so
much alarmed. Serv. Mr. Surface.
Lady S. Nay, now you are severe; for I dare Lady S. Show him up. [Exit Servant.] He ge- swear the truth of the matter is, Maria heard you nerally calls about this time. I don't wonder at were liere.—But, my dear, what has Sir Benjamin people giving him to me for a lover.
done, that you should avoid him so ?
Maria. Oh, he has done nothing-but 'tis for Enter Josepu SURFACE.
what he has said : bis conversation is a perpetual Joseph S. My dear Lady Sneerwell, how do you libel on all his acquaintance. do to-day? Mr. Snake, your most obedient. Joseph S. Ay, and the worst of it is, there is no
Lady S. Snake has just been rallying me on our advantage in not knowing bim-for he'll abuse a mutual attachment; but I have informed bim of our stranger just as soon as his best friend; and his real views. You know how useful he has been to uncle Crabtree's as bad. us, and, believe me, the confidence is not ill placed. Lady S. Nay, but we should make allowance -
Joseph S. Madam, it is impossible for me to sus- Sir Benjamin is a wit and a poet. pect a man of Mr. Snake's sensibility and discern- Maria. For my part, I own, madam, wit loses its
respect with me, when I see it in company with Lady S. Well, well, no compliments now; but malice.- What do you think, Mr. Surface ? tell me when you saw your mistress, Maria-or, Joseph S. Certainly, madam; to smile at the jest what is more material to me, your brother. which plants a thorn in another's breast, is to be
Joseph $. I have not seen either since I left you ; come a principal in the mischief. but I can inform you that they nerer meet. Some Lady S. Pshaw!-there's no possibility of being of your stories have taken a good effect on Maria. vitty without a little ill nature: the malice of a
Lady S. Ah! my dear Snake! the merit of this good thing is the barb that makes it stick.- What's belongs to you : but do your brother's distresses your opinion, Mr. Surface ? increase ?
Joseph S. To be sure, madam ; that conversation, Joseph S. Every hour. I am told he has had where the spirit of raillery is suppressed, will ever another execution in the house yesterday. In short
, appear tedious and insipid, his dissipation and extravagance exceed anything Maria. Well, I'll not debate how far scandal mar I have ever heard of.
be allowable ; but in a man, I am sure, it is always Lady S. Poor Charles !
contemptible. We have pride, envy, rivalship, and Joseph S. Truu, madam ; notwithstanding his a thousand little motives to depreciate each other. vices, one cannot help feeling for him. Poor but the male slanderer must bave the cowardice of Charles ! I'm sure I wish it were in my power to a woman before be can traduce one. be of any essential service to him ; for the man who does not feel for the distresses of a friend,
Enter Servant. even though merited by his own misconduct, de- Serv. Madam, Mrs. Candour is below, and if
your ladyship's at leisure, will leave her carriago. Lady S. O lud! you are going to be moral, and Lady S. Beg ber to walk in.-[Exit Serrant.] forget that you are among friends.
Now, Maria, however, here is a character to your Joseph $. Egad, that's true ! - I'll keep that sen- taste ; for though Mrs. Candour is a little talkative, timent till I see Sir Peter ;-however, it is certainly everybody allows her to be the best natured and a charity to rescue Maria from such a libertine, best sort of woman. who, if he is to be reclaimed, can be so only by one Maria. Yes, with a very gross affectation of of your lady ship's superior accom olishments and good nature and benevolence, she does more mis. understanding.
chief than the direct malice of old Crabtree. Snake. I believe, Lady Snoerwell, here's com- Joseph S. l'faith that's true, Lady Sneerwell: pany coming ; I'll go and copy the letier I men- whenever I hear the current running against the tioned to you.--Mr. Surlace, your most obedient. characters of my friends, I never think them in
Joseph $. Sir, your very devoted. [Erit Snake.] such danger as when Candour undertakes their Lady Sneerwell, I am very sorry you have put any defence, further confidence in that fellow.
Lady S. llush!-here she is !
for that report.
Enter Mrs. CANDOUR.
and Mrs. Can. My dear Lady Sneerwell, how have same way-Lord Spindle, Sir Thomas Slu. you been this century-Mr. Surface, what news Mr. Nickit-all up, I hear, within ibis wehi so do you hear ? .- though indeed it is no matter, for if Charles is undone, be'll find Half his acq I think one hears nothing else but scandal.
ruined too, and that, you know, is a consoi Joseph S. Just so, indeed, ma'am.
Joseph S. Doubtless, ma'am-a very go Mrs. C. Oh, Maria! cbild,-what! is the whole
Enter Servant. affair off between you and Charles l_his extra
Serv. Mr. Crabtree and Sir Benjamin Bia vagance, I presume—the town talks of nothing else.
[Erit Maria. I am very sorry, ma'am, the town las so
Lady S. So, Maria, you see your lover little to do. Alis. C. True, true, child : but there's no stop
you; positively you sha'n't escaje. ping people's tongues. I own I was hurt to hear Enter CRABTREE and Sir BENJAMIN Bachonit. it, as I indeed was to learn, from the same quarter, Crab. Lady Sneerwell, I kiss your bana.
Mrs. that your guardian, Sir Peter, and Lady Teazle, Candour, I don't believe you are acquainted with have not agreed lately as well as could be wished. my nephew, Sir Benjamin Backbite ! Egad!
Muria. 'Tis strangely impertinent for people to ma'am, be bas a pretty wit, and is a pretty poet, buss themselves so.
too; isn't be, Lady Sneerwell! Mrs. C. Very true, child:—but what's to be Sir B. () fie, uncle ! done!-- People will talk-there's no preventing it. Crab. Nay, egad, it's true; I back him at a Why, it was but yesterday I was told that Miss rebus or a charade against 'he best rhymer in the Gadabout had eloped with Sir Filigree Flirt.-But, kingdom.—Has your ladyship beard the epi ram Lord! there's no minding what one hears ; though, be wrote last week on Lady Frizzle's feather catchto be sure, I had this from very good authority. ing fire ?-Do, Benjamin, repeat it, or the charade
Maria. Such reports are highly scandalous. you made last night extempore at Mrs. Drowzie's
Mrs. C. So they are, child-shameful, shameful! conversazione. Come pow;- your first is the But the world is so censorious, no character escapes. name of a fish, your second a great naval com
-Lord, now, who would have suspected your mander, andfriend, Miss Prim, of an indiscretion ? 'Yet such is Sir B. Uncle, now-pr’ytheethe ill-nature of people, that they say her uncle stopt
Crab. l'faith, ma'am, 'twould surprise you to her last week, just as she was stepping ioto the hear bow ready be is at these things. York mail with her dancing-master.
Lady S. I wonder, Sir Benjamin, you never Maria. I'll answer for't, there are no grounds publish anything.
Sir B. To say truth, ma'am, 'tis very vulgar to Mrs. C. Ah, no foundation in the world, I dare print; and as my little productions "are mostly swear; no more, probably, than for the story cir- satires and lampoons on particular people, I find culated last month, of Mrs. Festino's affair with they circulate more by giving copies in confid-nce Colonel Cassino ;-though, to be sure, that matter to the friends of the parties. However, I have was never rightly cleared up.
some love elegies, wbich, when favoured with this Joseph S. The license of invention some people lady's smiles, I mean to give the public. take is monstrous indeed.
Crab. ”Fore Fleaven, ma'am, they'll immortalize Maria. 'Tis so,-but, my opinion, those who you!--you will be handed down to posterity, like report such things are equally culpable.
Petrarch's Laura, or Waller's Sacharissa. Mrs. C. To be sure they are ; tale-bearers are as Sir B. Yes, madam, I think you will like them, bad as the tule-makers-'tis an old observation, and when you shall see them on a beautiful quarto a very true one: but what's to be done, as I said page, where a neat rivulet of text sball murmur before? bow will you prevent people from talking through a meadow of margin.-'Fore Gad they To-day, Mrs. Cluckitt assured' me, Mr. and Mrs. will be the most elegant things of their kind! lloneymoon were at last become mere man and Crab. But, ladies, that's true-have you heard wite, like the rest of their acquaintance. Sbe the news ! likesrise hinted that a certain widow, in the next Mrs. C. What, sir, do you mean the report of street, had got rid of her dropsy, and recovered Crab. No, ma'am, that's not it-Miss Nicely is her shape in a most surprising manner. And at going to be married to her own footman. the same time, Miss Tattle, who was by, affirmed, Mrs. C. Impossible ! that Lord Buffalo had discovered bis lady at a Crab. Ask Sir Benjamin. bouse of no extraordinary fame, and that Sir Sir B. 'Tis very true, ma'am; everything is Harry Bouquet and Tom Saunter were to measure fixed, and the wedding liveries bespoke. swords on a similar provocation.-- But, Lord, do Crab. Yes—and they do say there were very pou think I would report these things ?-No, no! pressing reasons for it. tale-bearers, as I seid before, are just as bad as the Lady S. Wby, i have heard something of this tale-makers.
betore. Joseph S. Ab! Mrs. Candour, if everybody had Mrs. C. It can't be-and I wonder any one should your forbearance and good nature!
believe such a story, of so prudent a lady as Miss Mrs. C. I confess, Mr. Surface, I cannot bear to Nicely. bear people attacked behind their backs; and when Sir B. O lud! ma'am, that's the very reason ugly circumstances come out against our acquaint-'twas believed at once. She bas always been so ance, I own I always love to think the best. By- cautious and so reserved, that everybody was sure the-by, I hope 'tis not true that your brother is there was some reason for it at bottom. absolutely ruined ?
Mrs. C. Wby, to be sure, a tale of scandal is a: Joseph 'S. I am afraid his circumstances are very fatal to the credit of a prudent lady of her stamp bad indeed, ma'am.
as a fever is generally to those of the strongest M-s. C. Al! I heard so—but you must tel bim constitutions. But there is a sort of punv, sickly reputation, that is always ailing, yet will outlive Nrs. C. That I will, with all iny soul, ma'am. the robuster characters of a hundred prudes. Poor dear girl, who knows what her situation may Sir B. True, madam, there are valetudinarians be!
[Exit Mrs. Candou'R. in reputation as well as constitution ; wbo, being Lady S. 'Tras nothing but that she could not conscious of their weak part, avoid the least breath bear to hear Charles reflected on, notwithstanding of air, and supply their want of stamina by care their difference. and circumspection.
Sir B. The young lady's penchant is obvious. Mrs. C. Well, but this may be all a mistake. Crab. But Benjamin, you must not give up the You know, Sir Benjamin, very trilling circum- pursuit for that: follow her, and put her into good stances often give rise to the most injurious tales. bumour. Repeat her some of your own verses.
Crab. That they do, I'll be sworn, ma'am.--Did Come, I'll assist you. you ever hear how Miss Piper came to lose her Sir B. Mr. Surface, I did not mean to hurt you; lorer and her character last summer at Tunbridge but depend on't your brother is utterly undone. -Sir Benjamin, you remember it?
Crab. O lud, aye! undone as ever man was.Sir B. Oh, to be sure !- the most whimsical Can't raise a guinea! circumstance.
Sir B. And every thing sold, I'm told, that was Lady S. How was it, pray?
moveable.Crab. Why, one evening, at Mrs. Ponto's as- Crab. I have seen one that was at his house. sembly, the conversation happened to turn on the Not a thing left but some empty bottles that were breeding Nova Scotia sheep in this country. Says overlooked, and the family pictures, which I bea young lady in company, i have known instances liere are framed in the wainscotsof it--for Miss Letitia Piper, a first cousin of Sir B. And I'm very sorry, also, to bear some mine, had a Nova Scotia sheep that produced her bad stories against him. twins. What! cries the lady dowager Dundizzy Crab. OL! Le has done many mean things, that's (who you know is as deaf as a post), bas Miss certain. Piper had twins ?-- This mistake, as you may Sir B. But, however, as he is your brother-imagine, threw the whole company into a fit of Crab. We'll tell you all another opportunity. langhter. However, 'twas the next day every
[Ereuni CRABTREE and Sir BENJAMIN, where reported, and in a few days believed by the Lady S. Ha! ha! 'tis very hard for them to whole town, that Miss Letitia Piper bad actually leave a subject they have not quite run down. been brought to bed of a fine boy and a girl; and Joseph S. And I believe the abuse was no more in less than a week there were some people who acceptable to your ladysbip than Maria. could name the father, and the farm-house where Lady S. I doubt her affections are further enthe babies were put to nurse.
gaged than we imagine. But the family are to be Lady S. Strange, indeed!
here this evening, so you may as well dine where Crab. Matter of fact, I assure you.-o lud! Mr. you are, and we shall have an opportunity of obSurface, pray is it true that your uncle, Sir Oliver, serving further ; in the meantime, I'll go and plot is coming home?
mischief, and you shall study sentiment. Joseph S. Not that I know of, indeed, sir.
[Ereunt. Crab. He has been in the East Indies a long time. You can scarcely remember him, I believe?
SCENE II.--Sir Peter's House, --Sad comfort wheuever he returns, to hear how
Enter Sir Peter. your brother has gone on! Joseph S. Charles has been imprudent, sir, to be
Sir P. When an old bachelor marries a young sure ; but I hope no busy people have already pre-since Lady Teazle made me the happiest of men
wife, what is he to expect? 'Tis now six months judiced Sir Oliver against him. lle may reform.
Sir B. To be sure he may: for my part, I never and I have been the most miserable dog ever since. believed bin to be so utterly void of principle as We tift a little going to church, and came to a people say; and, though lie has lost all his friends, quarrel before the bells bad done ringing. I was I am told nobody is better spoken of by the Jews
more than once nearly choked with gall during the Crab. That's true, egad, nephew. If the old honeymoon, and had lost all comfort in life before Jewry was a ward, I believe Charles would be an my friends had done wishing me joy. Yet I close alderman: no man more popular there, 'fore Gad! with caution-a girl bred wholly in the country, 1 hear le pays as many anuuities as the Irish ton who never knew luxury beyond one silk gown, nor tine; and that, whenever he is sick, they have dissipation above the annual gala of a race ball. prayers for the recovery of his health in all the Yet sbe now plays her part in all the extravagant synagogues.
fopperies of fashion and the town, with as ready Sir B. Yet no man lives in greater splendour. a grace as if she bad never seen a busha or a grassThey tell me, when he entertains his friends be plet out of Grosvenor-square! I am sneered at hy will sit down to dinner with a dozen of his own all my acquaintance, and paragraphed in the news. securities; have a score of tradesmen waiting in papers. Sbe dissipates my fortune, and contradicts the antechamber, and an officer behind every guests all my humours; yet, the worst of it is, I doubt chair.
I love her, or I sbould never bear all this. How. Joseph S. This may be entertainment to you, ever, Ill never be weak enough to own it. gentlemen, but you pay very little regard to the
Enter RowLEY. feelings of a brother.
Rowley. Oh! Sir Peter, your servant: how is it Mariu. Their malice is intolerable. Lady Sneer with you, sir? well, I must wish you a good morning : I'm nou Sir P. Very bad, master Rowley, very bad. I
[Exit Maria. mect with nothing but crosses and vexations. Mrs. C. O dear! she changes colour very much. Rowley. What can have happened since yester
Ludg S. Do, Mrs. Candour, follow her : sho may day? want your assistance,
Sir P. A good question to a married man i
Howley. Nay, I'm sure, Sir Peter, your lady Rowley. By no means. cannot be the cause of your uneasiness.
Sir P. For I should never be able to stand Noll's Sir P. Why, has any body told you she was jokes ; so I'd have him think, Lord forgive me ! dead!
that we are a very happy couple. Rowley. Come, come, Sir Peter, you love her, Rowley. I understand you :--but then you must notwithstanding your tempers don't exactly agree. be very careful not to differ while he is in the
Sir P. But the fault is entirely bers, master bouse with you. Rowley. I am, myself, the sweetest tempered Sir P. Egad, and so wo must-and that's imposman alive, and bate a teazing temper: and so I tell sible. Ah! master Rowley, when an old bachelor her a hundred times a day.
marries a young wife, he deserves-no—the crime Rowley. Indeed!
carries its punishment along with it. [Ereunt. Sir P. Ay! and what is very extraordinary, in all our disputes she is always in the wrong! But Lady Sneerwell, and the set she meets at her house, encourage the perverseness of her disposition. Then, to complete my vexation, Maria, my ward,
ACT II. wbom I ought to have the power of a father over, is determined to turn rebel too, and absolutely re
SCENE I.--Sir Peter's House. fuses the man whom I have long resolved on for her husband; meaning, I suppose, to bestow her.
Enter Lady TeazLE and Sir Peter. self on his profligate brother.
Rouley. You know, sir, I have always taken the Sir P. Lady Teazle, Lady Teazle, I'll not bear liberty to differ with you on the subject of these it! turo young gentlemen. I only wish you may not Lady T. Sir Peter, Sir Peter, you may bear it or be deceived in your opinion of the elder. For not, as you please ; but I ought to have my own Charles, my life on't! be will retrieve his errors way in everything; and what's more, I will too. yet. Their worthy father, once my honoured mas- What! though I was educated in the country, I ter, was, at bis years, nearly as wild a spark; yet, | know very well that women of fashion in London wben be died, he did not leave a more benevolent are accountable to nobody after they are married. heart to lament his loss.
Sir P. Very well, ma'am, very well;--so a husSir P. You are wrong, master Rowley. On band is to have no infiuence, no authority ? their father's death, you know, I acted as a kind Lady T. Authority! No, to be sure if you of guardian to them both, till their uncle Sir Oliver's wanted authority over me, you should have adopted eastern liberality gave them an early independence: me, and not married me: I am sure you were old of course, no person could have more opportunities enough. of judging of their hearts, and I was never mis. Sir P. Old enough!-ay—there it is. Well, taken in my life. Joseph is indeed a model for the well, Lady Teazle, though my life may be made young men of the age. He is a man of sentiment, unhappy by your temper, I'll not be ruined by your and acts up to the sentiments he prosesses ; but for extravagance. the other, take my word for't, if he had any grain Lady T. My extravagance! I'm sure I'm not of virtue by descent, he has di sipated it with the more eztravagant than a woman of fashion ought rest of his inheritance. Ah! my old friend, Sir to be. Oliver, will be deeply mortified when he finds how Sir P. No, no, madam, you shall throw away no part of his bounty has been misapplied.
more sums on such unmeaning luxury. 'Slife? to Rowley. I am sorry to find you so violent against spend as much to furnish your dressing-room with the young man, b-cause this may be the most cri- flowers in winter as would suffice to turn the Pan. rical period of his fortune. I came bither with theon into a green-house, and give a fête champêtre news that will surprise you.
at Christmas. Sir P, What! let me hear.
Lady T. Lord, Sir Peter, am I to blame, because Rowley. Sir Oliver is arrived, and at this mo- fiowers are dear in cold weather! You should find
fault with the climate, and not with me. Sir P. How ! you astonish me! I thought you part, I'm sure, I wish it was spring all the year eid not expect him this month.
round, and that roses grew under our feet ! Rouley. I did not; but his passage has been re- Sir P. Oons! madam-if you had been born to markably quick.
this, I shouldn't wonder at your talking thus; but Sir P. Egad, I shall rejoice to see my old friend. you forget wbat your situation was when I married 'Tis sixteen years since we met.-We have bad you. many a day together :—but does be still enjoin us Lady T. No, no, I don't ; 'twas a very disagree not to inform his nephews of his arrival ?
able one. or I should never bave married you. Rouley. Most strictly. He means, before it is Sir.P Yes, yes, macam, you were then in some. known, to make some trial of their dispositions. what a bumbler style:--the daughter of a plain
Sir P. Ah! there needs no art to discover their country squire. Recolle t, Lady Teazle, when I merits-however, he shall have his way: but, saw you first sitting at your tambour, in a pretty pray, does he know I am married ?
figured linen gown, with a bunch of keys at your Rmeley. Yes, and will soon wish you joy. side ; your hair combed smooth over a roll, and
Sir P. Wbat, as we drink health to a friend in your apartınent bung round with fruits in worsted, a consumption. Ah! Oliver will laugh at me. of your own working. We used to rail at matrimony together : but he has Lady T. O, yes! I remember it very well, and beeo steady to his text. Well, be must be at my a curious life I led.-My daily occupation to nuhouse, though!—I'll instantly give orders for his spect the dairy, superintend the poultry, make ese reception. But, master Rowley, don't drop a word tracts from the family receipt book,—and comb my that Lady Teazle and I ever disagree.
aunt Deborab's lap-dog.
bent in town.
Sır P. Yes, yes, ma'am, 'twas so indeed. granted, they deal exactly in the same manner
Ludy T. And then, you know, my evening with me. But, Sir Peter, you know you promised amusements! To draw patterns for rulles, wbich to come to Lady Speerwell's too. I had not materials to make up; to play Pope Joan Sir P. Well, well, I'll call in just to look after my with the curate ; to read a novel to my aunt; or to own character. be stuck down to an old spinet to strum my father Lady T. Then indeed you must make haste after to sleep after a fos-cbase.
me, or you'll be too late. So, good bye to ye. [Exit. Sir P. I am glad you have so good a memory. Sir P. So, I have gain'd much by my intended Yes, madam, these were the recreations I took you expostulation : yet, with what a charming air she from ; but now you must have your coach-vis-à- contradicts everything I say, and how pleasingly vis—and three powdered footmen before your chair; she shows her contempt for my autbority! Well, aud, in the summer, a pair of white cats to draw though I can't make her love me, there is great sayou to Kensington-gardens. No recollection, 1 tisfaction in quarrelling with her; and I think she suppose, when you were content to ride double, never appears to such advantage as when she is behind the butler, on a dock'd coach-borse. doing everything in her power to plague me. (Exit
Lady T. No-I swear I never did that: I deny the butler and the coach-horse.
SCENE II.-Lady Sneeruell's House. — Company Sir P. This, madam, was your situation ; and sitting at the back of the stage at Card Tables.
! what have I done for you? I have made you a woman of fashion, of fortune, of ravk; in short, i Lady SNEERWELL, Mrs. Candour, CRABTREE,
Sir BENJAMIN BACKBITE, and Josepu SURFACE, have made you my wife. Lady T. Well, then,--and there is but one thing
discovered; Servants attending with Tea, &c. more you can make me add to the obligation, and Lady S. Nay, positively we will hear it. that is
Joseph $. Yes, yes, the epigram, by all means. Sir P. My widow, I suppose ?
Sir B. O plague on't uncle ! 'tis mere nonsense. Lady T. Hem! hem!
Crab. No, no ; 'fore Gad, very clever for an exSir P. I thank you, madan-but don't flatter tempore ! yourself; for though your ill conduct may disturb Sir B. But, ladies, you should be acquainted my peace of mind, it shall never break my heart, I with the circumstance. You must snow, that one promise you: however, I am equally obliged to you day last week, as Lady Betty Curricle was taking for the hint.
the dust in Ilyde Park, in a sort of duodecimo Ludy T. Then why will you endeavour to make phaeton, she desired me to write some verses on her yourself so disagreeable to me, and thwart me in ponies; upon wbich I took out my pocket-book, erery little elegant expense !
and in one moment produced the following: Sir P. 'Slife, madam, I say, had you any of these
Sure never were seen two such beautiful ponies; little elegant expenses when you married me?
Other horses are clowns, but these inacaronies: Lady P. Lud, Sir Peter! would you have me be
To give them this title I'm sure is not wrong, out of the fashion ! Sir P. The fashion, indeed! What had you to
Their legs are so slim, aad their tails are so long. do with the fashion before you married me? Crab. There, ladies, done in the smack of a whip,
Lady T. For my part, I should think you would and on horseback too. like to have your wife thought a woman of taste. Joseph S. A very Phæbus, mounted-indeed, Sir
Sir P. Ay-there again-taste-Zounds! ma- Benjamin. dam, you had no taste when you married me! Sir B. O dear, sir! trifles-trifles.
Lady T. That's very true, indeed, Sir Peter; and after having married you, I should never pre.
Enter Maria and Lady TEAZLE. tend to taste again, I allow. But now, Sir Peter, Mrs. C. I must have a copy. since we have finished our daily jangle, I presume Lady S. Ludy Teazle, I hope we shall see Sir I may go to my engagement at Lady Sneerwell's. Peter?
Sir P. Ay, there's another precious circumstance Lady T. I believe he'll wait on your ladyship --a charming set of acquaintance you have made presently. there,
Lady S. Maria, my dear, you look grave. Come, Lady T. Nay, Sir Peter, they are all people of you shall sit down to piquet with Mr. Surface. rank and fortune, and remarkably tenacious of Maria. I take very little pleasure in cards-hoirreputation.
ever, I'll do as your ladyship pleases. Sir P. Yes, egad, they are tenacious of reputa- Lady T. I am surprised Mr. Surface should sit tion with a vengeance : for they don't choose any- down with ber; I thought he would have embraced body should have a character' but themselves! - this opportunity of speaking to me, before Sir Sucii a crew! Ah! many a wretch has rid on a Peter came.
[ Aside. burdle who has done less mischief than these uiter- Mrs. C. Now, I'll die, but you are sc scandalers of forged tales, coiners of scandal, and clippers ous, I'll forswear your society. of reputation.
Lady T. What's the matter, Mrs. Candour? Lady T. Wbat! would you restrain the freedom Mrs. C. They'll not allow our friend Miss Ver. of speech?
milion to be handsome. Sir P. Ah! they have made you just as bad as Lady S. O, surely, she is a pretty woman. any one of the society.
Crab. I am very glad you think so, ma'am. Lady T. Why, I believe I do bear a part with a Mrs. C. She has a charming fresh colour.
Lady T. Yes, when it is fresh put on. Sir P. Grace, indeed!
Mrs. C. O fie! I'll swear ber colour is natural : Lady 7. But 1 row I bear no malice against the I have seen it come and go. pe plo I abuse.—When I say an ill-natured thing, Lady T. I dare swear you have, ma'am: it goes Pas out of pure good-humour; and I take it for off at night, and comes again in the morning.