Liss. You seem an honest fellow; pr'ythee, let's drink to our better acquaintance. Gibby. Wi' all my heart, sir; gang your gate to the next house, and Ise follow ye. Liss. Come along, then. Gibby. Don Pedro de Mendoza! Donna Violante his daughter! that's as right as my leg, now-Ise need na mair-I'll tak a drink, and then to my maister. Ise bring him news will make his heart full blee; ACT IV. SCENE I-Donna Violante's Lodgings. Enter Donna ISABELLA, in a gay temper, and Donna Isab. My dear, I have been wishing for you this half hour, to tell you the most lucky adventure! Vio. And you have pitched upon the most unlucky hour for it that you could possibly have found in the wnole four-and-twenty. Isab. Hang unlucky hours! I won't think of them -I hope all my misfortunes are past. Vio. And mine all to come. Isab. I have seen the man I like. Vio. And I have seen the man that I could wish to hate. meet him this morning, but much more so to send for him hither, knowing what inconveniency you have already drawn upon me. Isab. I am not insensible how far my misfortunes have embarrassed you; and, if you please, will sacrifice my quiet to your own. Vio. Unkindly urged!-Have I not preferred your happiness to every thing that's dear to me? Isab. I know thou hast-then do not deny me this last request, when a few hours, perhaps, may render my condition able to clear thy fame, and bring my brother to thy feet for pardon. Vio. I wish you don't repent of this intrigue. I suppose he knows you are the same woman that he brought in last night? Isab. Not a syllable of that; I met him veiled, and, to prevent his knowing the house, I ordered Mrs. Flora to bring him in bythe back door into the garden. Vio. The very way which Felix comes: if they should meet, there would be fine work!-Indeed, my dear, I can't approve of your design. Enter FLORA. Flora. Madam, the Colonel waits your pleasure. Vio. How durst you go upon such a message, mistress, without acquainting me? Flora. So I am to be huffed for every thing. Isab. 'Tis too late to dispute that now, dear Violante; I acknowledge the rashness of the action; but consider the necessity of my deliverance. well, what am I to do? Isab. In the next room I'll give you instructions; isab. And you must assist me in discovering whe-in the meantime, Mrs. Flora, show the Colonel into ther he can like me or not. Vio. You have assisted me in such a discovery already, I thank ye. Isab. What say you, my dear? Vio. I say I am very unlucky at discoveries, Isabella: I have too lately made one pernicious to my ease your brother is false. Isab. Impossible! Vio. Most true! Isab. Some villain has traduced him to you. Vio. No, Isabella, I loved too well to trust the eyes of others; I never credit the ill-judging world, or form suspicions upon vulgar censures-no, I had ocular proof of his ingratitude. Isab. Then I am most unhappy-My brother was the only pledge of faith betwixt us; if he has forfeited your favour, I have no title to your friendship. Vio. You wrong my friendship, Isabella; your own merit entitles you to every thing within my power. Isab. Generous maid !-But may I not know what grounds you have to think my brother false? this. [Exit FLORA, ISABELLA and VIOLANTE. Re-enter FLORA, with Colonel BRITON. Flora. The lady will wait on you presently, sir. [Exit. Col. B. Very well-this is a fruitful soil-I nave not been here quite four-and-twenty hours, and I have three intrigues upon my hands already; but I hate the chase without partaking of the game Enter VIOLANTE, veiled. Ha! a fine-sized woman-Pray heaven she proves handsome!-I am come to obey your ladyship's commands. Vio. Are you sure of that, Colonel ? Col. B. If you be not very unreasonable, indeed, madam.-A man is but a man. [Takes her hand and kisses it. Vio. Nay, we have no time for compliments, Colonel. Col. B. I understand you, madam-Montrez moi [Takes her in his arms. Vio. Nay, nay, hold, Colonel; my bed-chamber is not to be entered without a certain purchase. Vio. Another time.-But tell me, Isabella, how votre chambre. can I serve you? Isab. Thus, then-The gentleman that brought me hither I have seen and talked with upon the Terriero de Passa this morning, and I find him a man of sense, generosity, and good humour; in short, he is every thing that I could like for a husband, and I have dispatched Mrs. Flora to bring him hither: I hope you'll forgive the liberty I have taken. Vio. Hither! to what purpose? Isab. To the great universal purpose, matrimony. Vio. Matrimony! why, do you design to ask him? Isab. No, Violante, you must do that for me. Vio. I thank you for the favour you design me, but desire to be excused-I manage my own affairs too ill to be trusted with those of other people. I can't for my life admire your conduct, to encourage a person altogether unknown to you: 'twas very imprudent to| Col. B. Purchase-humph, this is some kept mistress, I suppose, who industriously lets out her leisure hours.-[Aside.]-Look ye, madam, you must consider, we soldiers are not overstocked with money, but we make ample satisfaction in love; we have a world of courage upon our hands now, you know then, pr'ythee use a conscience, and I'll try if my pocket can come up to your price. Vio. Nay, don't give yourself the trouble of drawing your purse, Colonel; my design is levelled at your person, if that be at your disposal. Col. B. Ay, that it is, 'faith, madam; and I'll settle it as firmly upon thee Vio. As law can do it. Col. B. Hang law in love affairs; thou shalt have right and title to it out of pure inclination.-A matrimonial hint again. Aside. Vio. Then you have an aversion to matrimony, Colonel? Did you never see a woman in all your travels that you could like for a wife? Col. B. A very odd question-Do you really expect that I should speak truth now? Vio. I do, if you expect to be dealt with, Colonel. Col. B. Why, then-yes. Vio. Is she in your country, or this? Col. B. This is a very pretty kind of catechism! -In this town, I believe, madam. Vio. Her name is Vio. Come, Colonel, for once be sincere; perhaps you may not repent it. she regards me!-You look, Violante, as if the sight of me were troublesome to you. Vio. Can I do otherwise, when you have the assurance to approach me, after what I saw to-day? Fel. Assurance! rather call it good-nature, after what I heard last night. But such regard to honour have I, in my love to you, I cannot bear to be suspected, nor suffer you to entertain false notions of my truth, without endeavouring to convince you of my innocence; so much good-nature have I more than you, Violante. Pray give me leave to ask your wo man one question-my man assures me she was the person you saw at my lodgings. Flora. I confess it, madam, and ask your pardon. Vio. Impudent baggage!-not to undeceive me sooner! what business could you have there? Fel. Lissardo and she, it seems, imitate you and me. Flora. I love to follow the example of my betters, madam. Fel. I hope I am justified. Vio. Since we are to part, Felix, there needs no justification. Fel. Methinks you talk of parting as a thing indifCol. B. This is like to be but a silly adventure-ferent to you. [Lays his hand on her arm.] Can you here's so much sincerity required. [Aside.] 'Faith, madam, I have an inclination to sincerity, but I'm afraid you'll call my manners in question. Vio. Not at all; I prefer truth before compliment in this affair. Col. B. Why, then, to be plain with you, madam, a lady last night wounded my heart by a fall from a window, whose person I could be content to take, as my father took my mother, till death do us part. But who she is, or how distinguished, whether maid, wife, or widow, I can't inform you-perhaps you are she? Vio. Not to keep you in suspense, I am not she; but I can give you an account of her. That lady is a maid of condition-has ten thousand pounds—and, if you are a single man, her person and fortune are at your service. Col. B. I accept the offer with the highest transports: but say, my chaiming angel, art thon not she? [Offers to embrace her. Vio. Once again, Colonel, I tell you I am not she--but at six this evening you shall find her on the Terriero de Passa, with a white handkerchief in her hand—Get a priest ready, and you know the rest. Col. B. I shall infallibly observe your directions, madam. Enter FLORA, hastily, and whispers VIOLANTE, who starts, and seems surprised. Vio. Ah! Felix crossing, say you? What shall I do now? Col. B. You seem surprised, madam. Vic. Oh, Colonel, my father is coming hither, and if he finds you here I am ruined. Col. B. Odslife, madam, thrust me any where! Can't I out this way? Vio. No, no, no,-he comes that way.-How shail I prevent their meeting ?-Here, here, step into my bedchamber. Col. B. Oh, the best place in the world, madam. Vio. And be still, as you value her you love.Don't stir till you've notice, as ever you hope to have her in your arms. Col. B. On that condition I'll not breathe. [Exit Colonel. Enter Don FELIX.-FLORA waiting in background. Fel. I wonder where this dog of a servant is all *`.. while.—But she is at home, I find.-How coldly forget how I have loved? Vio. I wish I could forget my own passion: I should, with less concern, remember yours. But for Mrs. Flora Fel. You must forgive her.-Must, did I say? I fear I have no power to impose, though the injury was done to me. Vio. 'Tis harder to pardon an injury done to what we love than to ourselves; but, at your request, Felix, I do forgive her. Go, watch my father, Flora, lest he should awake, and surprise us. Flora. Yes, madam. [Erit. Fel. Dost thou, then, love me, Violante? Vio. What need of repetition from my tongue, when every look confesses what you ask? Fel. Oh, let no man judge of love but those who feel it! what wondrous magic lies in one kind look! -One teuder word destroys a lover's rage, and melts his fiercest passion into soft complaint. Oh, the window, Violante! wouldst thou but clear that one suspicion Vio. Pr'ythee, no more of that, my Felix a little time shall bring thee perfect satisfaction. Fel. Well, Violante, on condition you think nɔ more of a monastery, I'll wait with patience for ths mighty secret. Vio. Ah, Felix, love generally gets the better of religion in us women. [He kisses her hard Enter FLORA, hastily Fiora. Oh, madam, madam, madam! my lori your father, has been in the garden, and locked the back-door, and comes muttering this way into the house. undone. Vio. Then we are caught.-Now, Felix, we are Fel. Heavens forbid! This is most unlucky-I may conceal myself. Runs to the door and pushes it open a hitz'e Vio. If he goes in, he'll find the Colonel' (Arari, —No, no, Felix, that's no safe place—[ Itunning to him.-my father often goes thither Fel. Either my eye deceived me, or I saw a nwithin-I'll watch him close. dam-Here, I'll fetch you a disguise. L Flora. Oh, invention, invention!-I have it, ma Fel. She shall deal with the devil, if she conveys him out without my knowledge, Why, how came the garden-door open?-Ha! how now? who have we here? Flora. 'Tis my mother, an't please you, sir. [She and Felix both courtesy. Ped. Your mother! by St. Andrew, she's a strapper! why, you are a dwarf to her.-How many children have you got, good woman? Flora. I would tell him I had as good a right and title to the law of nature, and the end of the creation, as he had. Ped. You would, mistress; who the devil doubts it ?-A good assurance is a chambermaid's coat of arms, and lying and contriving the supporters.Your inclinations are on tiptoe, it seems.-If I were your father, housewife, I'd have a penance enjoined you so strict, that you should not be able to turn you in your bed for a month.-You are enough to spoil your lady, housewife, if she had not abundance of devotion. to Vio. Fie, Flora! are you not ashamed to talk thus Flora. Oh dear, siguior, she cannot hear you! sheber what I said to thee; next week- has been deaf these twenty years. Ped. Alas, poor woman!-Why, you muffle her up as if she was blind too. Turn up her hood. Vio. St. Antony forbid! Oh, sir, she has the dreadfullest unlucky eyes-Pray don't look upon them; made her keep her hood shut on purpose.-Oh! oh! oh! oh! Ped. Eyes!-Why, what's the matter with her eyes? Flora. My poor mother, sir, is much afflicted with the cholic; and, about two months ago, she had it grieviously in her stomach, and was over-persuaded to take a dram of filthy English geneva, which immediately flew up into her head, and caused such a defluxion in her eyes, that she could never since bear the daylight. Ped. Say you so?-Poor woman!-Well, make her sit down, Violante, and give her a glass of wine. Vio. Let her daughter give her a glass below, sir. -For my part, she has frighted me so I sha'nt be myself these two hours-I am sure her eyes are evil eyes. Flora. [In the background.] But little docs he know what change she means. [Aside. for two or three days, to settle some affairs with thy Ped. Well, child, I am going into the country uncle, and when I return, we'll proceed for thy happiness, child.-Good b'ye, Violante; take care of thyself. [Exeunt Don PEDRO and VIOLANTE, Flora. So, now for the Colonel.-Hist, hist, Co lonel! Enter Colonel BRITON. Col. B. Is the coast clear? Flora. Yes, if you can climb; for you must get over the wash-house, and jump from the gardenwall, into the street. Col. B. Nay, nay, I don't value my neck, if my incognita answers but thy lady's promise. [Exeunt Colonel BRITON and FLORA. Enter Don FELIX. Fel. I have lain perdue under the stairs till I watched the old man out. [VIOLANTE opens the door. [Speaks aloud.'Sdeath! I am prevented. [FELIX retires. Ped. Well, well, do so.-Evil eyes! there are no evil eyes, child. Flora. Come along, mother. Ped. Tak, care how you go down. [Axide. Felix and Flora cross, and exeunt. Vio. I'm glad he's gone. Ped. Hast thou heard the news, Violante? Vio. What news, sir? Ped. Why, Vasquez tells me that Don Lopez's daughter, Isabella, is run away from her father: that lord has very ill fortune with his children.-Well, I'm glad my daughter has no inclination to man. kind, that my house is plagued with no suitors. [Aside. Vio. This is the first word ever I heard of it :-I pity her frailty Ped. Well said, Violante.-Next week I intend thy happiness shall begin. Enter FLORA. Vio. I don't intend to stay so long, thank you papa. [side. Ped. My Lady Abbess writes word she longs to see thee, and has provided everything in order for thy reception.-Thou wilt lead a happy life, my girl-fifty times before that of matrimony-where an extravagant coxcomb might make a beggar of thee, or an ill-natured surly dog break thy heart. Flora, Break her heart! she had as good have her bones broke as to be a nun! I am sure, I had rather of the two. You are wondrous kind, sir: but if I had such a father, I know what I would do. Ped. Why, what would you do, minx, ha? Enter Donna VIOLANTE. Vio. Now to set my prisoner at liberty. [Goes to the door where the colonel was hid.] Sir! sir! you may Vio. Won't you believe your eyes? Fred. He is a good, harmless, innocent fellow; I am sorry for it. The colonel lodges in my house; I knew him formerly in England, and met him here by accident last night, and gave him an invitation home. He is a gentleman of good estate, besides his commission; of excellent principles, and strict honour, I assure you. Fel. Is he a man of intrigue? Fred. Like other men, I suppose. Here he comes. Enter Colonel BRITON. Fel. My eyes! No, nor my ears, nor any of my Colonel, I began to think I had lost you. senses; for they have all deceived me. Well, I am Col. B. And not without some reason, if you convinced that faith is as necessary in love as in re-knew all. ligion; for the moment a man lets a woman know Fel. [Retiring.] There's no danger of a fine gen her conquest, he resigns his senses, and sees nothing tleman's being lost in this town, sir. but what she'd have him. Col. B. That compliment don't belong to me, sir; Vio. And as soon as that man finds his love re-but, I assure you, I have been very near being run turned, she becomes as arrant a slave as if she had away with. already said after the priest. Fel. [Takes her hand.] The priest, Violante, would dissipate those fears which cause these quarrels. When wilt thou make me happy? Vio. To-morrow I will tell thee: my father is gone for two or three days to my uncle's; we have time enough to finish our affairs-But, pr'ythee, leave me now, lest some accident should bring my father. Fel. To-morrow, then Fly swift, ye hours, and bring to-morrow on! Vio. You must, my Felix. We soon shall meet Fel. This hour has been propitious: I am reconciled to Violante, and you assure me Antonio is out of danger. Fred. Your satisfaction is doubly mine. Fel. What haste you made, sirrah, to bring me word if Violante went home! Liss. I can give you very good reason for my stay, sir. Yes, sir, she went home. Fred. Oh, your master knows that, for he has been there himself, Lissardo. Liss. Sir, may I beg the favour of your ear? [Retire, whisper, and Felix seems uneasy Fred. Ha! Felix changes colour at Lissardo's news! What can it be? Fel. A Scots footman, that belongs to Colonel Briton, an acquaintance of Frederick's, say you? The devil! If she be false, by heaven I'll trace her.-Pr'ythee, [Comes forward.] Frederick, do you know one Colonel Briton, a Scotsman ? [Exit LISSARDO. Fred. Yes: why do you ask me? Fel. Nay, no great matter; but my man tells me that he has had some little differences with a servant of his, that's all. Fred. Who attempted it? Col. B. 'Faith, I know not-only that she is a charming woman; I mean, as much as I saw of her. Fel. Coming forward.] My heart swells with apprehension!-some accidental rencounter? Fred. A tavern, I suppose, adjusted the matter. Col. B. A tavern! no, no, sir; she is above that rank, I assure you: this nymph sleeps in a velvet bed, and has lodgings every way agreeable. Fel. Ha! a velvet bed! I thought you said but now, sir, you knew her not. Col. B. No more I do, sir. Fel. How came you then so well acquainted with her bed? Fred. Ay, ay; come, come, unfold. Col. B. Why, then, you must know, gentlemen, that I was conveyed to her lodgings by one of Cupid's emissaries, called a chambermaid, in a chair, through fifty blind allies-who, by the help of a key, let me into a garden. Fel. A garden! this must be Violante's garden. [Aride. Col B. From thence she conducted me into a spacious room, then dropped me a curtesy, told me her lady would wait on me presently; so, without unveiling, modestly withdrew. Fel. Damn her modesty! this was Flora. [Aride. Fred. Well, how then, colonel? Col. B. Then, sir, immediately, from another door, issued forth a lady, armed at both eyes, from whence such showers of darts fell round me, that, had I not been covered with the shield of another beauty, I had infallibly fallen a martyr to her charms; for, you must know, I just saw her eyes-Eyes, did I say? no, no, hold; I saw but one eye, though I suppose it had a fellow equally killing. Fel. But how came you to see her bed, sir? 'Sdeath! this expectation gives a thousand racks. Aside. Col. B. Why, upon her maid's giving notice her father was coming, she thrust me into the bedchamber. Fel. Upon her father's coming! Col. B. Ay, so she said; but, putting my ear to the key-hole of the door, I found it was another lover. Fel. Confound the jilt! 'twas she without dispute ! [Aride. Fred. Ah, poor colonel! ha! ha! Col. I discovered they had had a quarrel; but whether they were reconciled or not I can't tell, for the second alarm brought the father in good earnest, and had like to have made the gentleman and ma acquainted, but she found some other stratagem to convey him out. Fel. Contagion seize her, and make her body ugly as her soul! There is nothing left to doubt of now-'Tis plain 'twas she. [Fred. and Col. laughing.] Sure he knows me, and takes this method to insult me. 'Sdeath! I cannot bear it. [Aside. Fred. So, when she had dispatched her old lover, she paid you a visit in her bed-chamber-ha, colonel? Col. B. No, plague take the impertinent puppy! he spoiled my diversion; and I saw her no more. Fel. Very fine! Give me patience, Heaven, or II shall burst with rage. [Aside. Fred. That was hard. Col. B. Nay, what was worse-But, Sir, dear sir, do hearken to this:-[To Felix.] The nymph that introduced me conveyed me out again, over the top of a high wall, where I ran the danger of having my neck broke, for the father, it seems, had locked the door by which I entered. Fel. [Turning away.] That way I missed himDamn her invention [Aside.] Pray, colonel-Ha! ha ha! it's very pleasant, ha, ha!-Was this the same lady you met upon the Terriero de Passa this morning? Col. B. 'Faith, I can't tell, sir; I had a design to know who that lady was, but my dog of a footman, whom I had ordered to watch her home, fell fast asleep. I gave him a good beating for his neglect, and I have never seen the rascal since. Fred. Here he comes. Enter GIBBY. Col. B. Where have you been, sirrah? Gibby. Troth, I'se been seeking ye, an like yer honour, these twa hours and mair. I bring ye glad teedings, sir. Col. B. What, have you found the lady? Gibby. Gude faith ha I, sir-and she's called Donna Violante, and her parent Don Pedro de Mendosa, and gin ye will gang wi' me, an like yer honour, Ise mak ye ken the hoose right weel. Fel. Oh, torture! torture! [Aside. Col. B. Ha! Violante! that's the lady's name of the house where my incognita is; sure it could not be her; at least it was not the same house, I'm [Aside. Fred. Violante! 'tis false; I would not have you credit him, colonel. confident. Gibby. The deel burst my bladder, sir, gin I lee. Fel. [Runs across to Gibby.] Sirrah, I say you do lie, and I'll make you eat it, you dog! [Kicks him.] and if your master will justify you Col. B. Not I, faith, sir-I answer for nobody's lies but my own; if you please, kick him again. Gibby. But gin he does Ise na tak it, sir, gin he was a thousand Spaniards. [Walks about in a passion. Col. B. I owed you a beating, sirrah, and I'm obliged to this gentleman for taking the trouble off my hands; therefore, say no more; d'ye hear, sir? [Aside to Gibby. Gibby. Troth dee I, sir, and feel tee. [Gibby retires to background. Fred. This must be a mistake, colonel, for I know Violante perfectly well, and I am certain she would not meet you upon the Terriero de Passa. Col. B. Don't be too positive, Frederick; now I have some reasons to believe it was that very lady. Fel. You'd very much oblige me, sir, if you'd let me know these reasons. Col. B. Sir! Col. B. Ha! ha! really, sir, I cannot conceive how you, or any man, can have a right to inquire into my thoughts. Fel. Sir, I have a right to every thing that relates Col. B. Nor I bullied, sir. Col. B. Are you sure of that, Spaniard? [Draus. Gibby. [Draws.] Say na mair, mon. O' my saul, here's twa to twa. Dinna fear, sir; Gibby stonds by ye for the honour of Scotland. [Vapours about. Fred. By St. Antony, you shan't fight [Interposes:] on bare suspicion: be certain of the injury, and then Fel. That I will this moment; and then, sir-I hope you are to be found Col. B. Whenever you please, sir. [Erit Felix. Gibby. Hoot awa, mon! there ne'er was a Scotsman yet that shamed to show his face. [ Strutting about. Fred. So, quarrels spring up like mushrooms, in a minute. Violante and he were but just reconciled, and you have furnished him with fresh matter for falling out again; and I am certain, colonel, Gibby is in the wrong. Gibby. Gin I be, sir, the mon that tald me leed; and gin he did, the deel be my landlord, and hell my winter-quarters, and a rape my winding-sheet, gin I dee not lick him as lang as I can haud a stick in my hond, now see ye. Col. B. I am sorry for what I have said, for the lady's sake; but who could divine that she was his mistress? Pr'ythee, who is this warm spark? Fred. He is the son of one of our grandees, named Don Lopez de Pimentello; a very honest gentleman, but something passionate in what relates to his love. He is an only son, which may, perhaps, be one reason for indulging his passion. Col. B. When parents have but one child, they either make a madman or a fool of him. Fred. He is not the only child, he has a sister; but I think, through the severity of his father, who would have married her against her inclination, she has made her escape, and, notwithstanding he has offered five hundred pounds, he can get no tidings of her. Col. B. Ha! how long has she been missing? Col. B. I'm transported! this must be the lady I Fel. Sir, I say, I have a right to inquire into caught. What sort of a woman is she? these reasons you speak of. Fred. Middle-sized, a lovely brown, a fine pout |