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Per. I think it belongs to your profession- Trade. Ay, Heer Van Fainwell, I never heard [He looks upon the pen, while the COLONEL such a confounded name in my life- Here's changes the lease, and lays down the contract.] his health, I say. I doubt this is but a sorry pen, though it may Free. With all my heart. serve to write my name.
[Writes. Trade. Faith, I never expected to have found Col. Little does he think what he signs. so generous a thing in a Dutchman.
Free. Oh, he has nothing of the Hollander in Per. There is your lease, Mr Pillage. [Gives his temper- -except an antipathy to monarchy. him the paper.] Now I must desire you to make As soon as I told him your circumstances, he what haste you can down to Coventry, and take replied, he would not be the ruin of any man for care of every thing, and I'll send down the un- the world—and immediately made this proposal dertaker for the body; do you attend it up, and himself— Let him take what time he will for whatever charge you are at, I'll repay you. 'the payment,' said he; or, if he'll give me his
Col. You have paid me already; I thank you, ward, I'll forgive him the debt.' sir.
[Aside. Trade. Well, Mr Freeman, I can't but thank Per. Will you dine with me?
you—’Egad you have made a man of me again! Col. I would rather not; there are some of and if ever I lay a wager more, may I rot in a my neighbours whom I met as I came along, gaol ! who leave the town this afternoon, they told me, Free. I can assure you, Mr Tradelove, I was and I should be glad of their company down. very much concerned, because I was the occaPer. Well, well, I won't detain you.
sion—though very innocently, I protest. Col. I don't care how soon I am out. (Aside. Trade. I dare swear you was, Mr Freeman. Per. I will give orders about mourning. Col. You will have cause to mourn, when you
Enter a Fiddler. know your estate imaginary only. (Aside.
Fid. Please to have a lesson of music, or a You'll find your hopes and cares alike are
song, gentlemen? vain,
Free. Song? aye, with all our hearts; have In spite of all the caution you have ta'enFortune rewards the faithful lover's pain.
you a very merry one?
Fid. Yes, sir; my wife and I can give you a [Erit. merry dialogue.
[Here is the song. Per. Seven hundred a year ! I wish he had Trade. 'Tis very pretty, faith. died seventeen years ago :-What a valuable Free. There's something for you to drink, collection of rarities might I have had by this friend; go, lose no time. time !-I might have travelled over all the known Fid. I thank you, sir.
[Erit. parts of the globe, and made my own closet rival the Vatican at Rome.Odso, I have a
Enter Drawer and Colonel, dressed for the good mind to begin my travels now; let me
Dutch merchant. see--I am but sixty'! My father, grandfather, and great grandfather, reached ninety odd;-I Col. Ha, Mynheer Tradelove, Ik ben sorry have almost forty years good :-Let me consider! voor your troubles-maer Ik sal you easie mawhat will seven hundred a year amount to in- ken, Ik will de gelt nie hebbenay! in thirty years, I'll say but thirty--thirty Trade. I shall for ever acknowledge the oblitimes seven, is seven times thirty- -that is -- gation, sir. just twenty-one thousand pounds---'tis a great Free. But you understand upon what condideal of money.--- I may very well reserve sixteention, Mr Tradelove; Mrs Lovely. hundred of it for a collection of such rarities as Col. Ya, de frow sal al te regt setten, Mynwill make my name famous to posterity ;------I heer. would not die like other mortals, forgotten in a Trade. With all my heart, Mynheer; you shall year or two, as my uncle will be---No,
have iny consent to marry her freelyWith nature's curious works I'll raise my fame, Free. Well, then; as I am a party concerned That men, till Doom's-day, may repeat my between you, Mynheer Jan Van Timtamtirelire
[Erit. letta Heer Van Fainwell shall give you a dis
charge of your wager under his own hand, and SCENE IV.---Changes to a tavern. you shall give him your consent to marry Mrs
Lovely under yours
-that is the way to aFREEMAN and TradELOVE over a bottle.
void all manner of disputes hereafter. Trade. Come, Mr Freeman, here's Mynheer Col. Ya, weeragtig. Jan Van Tim, Tam, Tam-I shall never think of Trade. Aye, aye, so it is, Mr Freeman; I'll that Dutchinau's name.
give it under mine this minute. (Sits down to write. Free. Mynheer Jan Van Timtamtirelireletta Col. And so Ik sal.
[Does the same. Heer Van Fainwell.
Free. So ho, the house !
beer? Had Ik dat gewoeten, Ik soude earen met
you geweest syn. Bid your master come up--I'll see there be wit- Sack. But Mr Tradelove is the principal, and nesses enough to the bargain.
(Aside. he can do a great deal with the rest, sir.
Free. And he shall use his interest, I promise Enter SACKBUT.
you, mynheer. Sack. Do you call, gentlemen?
Trade. I will say all that ever I can think on Free. Aye, Mr Sackbut; we shall want your to recommend you, mynheer; and, if you picase, hand here
I'll introduce you to the lady. Trade. There, Mynheer, there's my consent, Col. Well, dat is waer-Maer ye must first as amply as you can desire; but you must insert spreken of myn to de frow, and to oudere genyour own name, for I know not how to spell it; tlemen. I have left a blank for it.
Free. Aye, that's the best way, and then I and [Gives the Colonel a paper. the Heer Van Faiuwell will meet you there. Col. Ya Ik sal dat well doen
Trade. I will go this moment, upon honourFree, Now, Mr Sackbut, you and I will wit- Your most obedient humble servant--My speak
[They write. ing will do you little good, Mynheer, ha, ha, ha! Col. Daer, Mynheer Tradelove, is your dis- we have bit you, faith, ha, ha! charge.
[Gives a paper. Trude. Be, pleased to witness this receipt, too,
Well, my debt's discharged, and for the man, gentlemen.
He has my consent to get her, if he can. [FREEMAN and SACKBUT put their hands.
[Erit. Free. Aye, aye, that we will.
Col. Ha, ha, ha! this was a masterpiece of Col. Well, Mynheer, ye most meer doen, ye contrivance, Freeman. most myn voorsprach to de frow syn.
Free. He hugs himself with his supposed good Free. He means you must recommend him to fortune, and little thinks the luck's on our side! the lady.
but come, pursue the fickle goddess while she's Trude. That I will, and to the rest of my bro- in the mood-Now, for the quaker. ther guardians.
Col. That's the hardest task, Col. Wat, voor, de duyvel, heb you meer Of all the counterfeits performed by man, guardians ?
A soldier makes the simplest puritan. Trade. Only three, Mynheer.
[E.reunt. Col. What donder heb'ye myn betrocken Myn
SCENE I.-Prim's house.
deed, there was more design than goodness in the
pinch'd cap. Enter Mrs Prim and Mrs Lovely, in quaker's Mrs Prim. Go, thou art corrupted with readdresses, meeting,
ing lewd plays, and filthy romances--good for Mrs Prim. So, now I like thee, Anne; art thou nothing but to lead youth into the high-road of not better without thy monstrous hoop-coat and fornication. Ah! I wish thou art not already tov patches ?-If Heaven should make thee so many familiar with the wicked ones! black spots upon thy face, would it not fright Mrs Love. Too familiar with the wicked ones! thee, Anne?
Pray, no more of those freedoms, madam-I Mrs Love. If it should turn your
inside out- am familiar with none so wicked as yourself :ward, and shew all the spots of your hypocrisy, How dare you thus talk to me! you, you, you, 'twould fright me worse !
unworthy woman you ! [Bursts into tears. Mrs Prim. My hypocrisy! I scorn thy words,
Enter TRADELOVE. Anne; I lay no baits.
Mrs Love. If you did, you'd catch no fish. Trade. What, in tears, Nancy? What have you
Mrs Prim. Well, well, make thy jests—but I'd done to her, Mrs Prim, to make her weep? have thee to know, Anne, that I could have Mrs Love. Done to me! I admire I keep my catched as many fish (as thou call'st them) in my senses among you; but I will rid myself of your time, as ever thou didst with all thy fool-traps tyranny, if there be either law or justice to be about thee-If admirers be thy aim, thou wilt had- -I'll force you to give me up my liberty. have more of them in this dress than the other, Mrs Prim. Thou hast inore need to weep for The men, take my word-for't, are more desirous thy sins, Anne-Yea, for thy manifold sins. to see what we are most careful to conceal.
Mrs Love. Don't think that I'll be still the fool Mrs Love. Is that the reason of your formality, which you have made me. No, I'll wear what I Mrs Prim? Truth will out: I ever thought, in- please go when and where I please_and
kcep what company I think fit, and not what
you Sir Phi. Aye, aye, madam; he would dissect shall direct--I will.
you. Trade. For my part, I do think all this very Trade. Or, pore over you through a microreasonable, Mrs Lovely- —'Tis fit you should scope, to see how your blood circulates from the have your liberty, and for that very purpose I crown of your head to the sole of your
footHa, ha! but I have a husband for you, a man
that knows how to improve your fortune; one Enter Mr PERIWINKLE and OBADIAH Prim, that trades to the four corners of the globe. with a letter in his hand.
Mrs Love. And would send ine for a venture, Per. I have bought some black stockings of perhaps. your husband, Mrs Prim; but he tells me the glo- Trude. One that will dress you in all the pride ver's trade belongs to you; therefore, I pray of Europe, Asia, Africa, and America--a Dutch you, look me out five or six dozen of mourning merchant, my girl. gloves, such as are given at tunerals, and send Sir Phi. A Dutchman! Ha, ha; there's a husthem to my house.
band for a fine lady. Ya frow, will you meet Oba. Prim. My friend Periwinkle has got a myn slapen-Ha, ha! he'll learn you to talk the good wind-fall to-day-seven hundred a-year. language of the logs, madam, ha, ha!
Mrs Prim. I wish thee joy of it, neighbour. Trade. He'll learn you, that one merchant is of Trade. What, is sir Toby dead, then?
more service to a nation than fifty coxcombs.-Per. He is! You'll take care, Mrs Prim? The Dutch know the trading interest to be of Mrs Prim. Yea, I will, neighbour.
more benefit to the state, than the landed. Oba. Prim. This letter recommendeth a speak- Sir Phi. But what is either interest to a lady? er; 'tis from Aininadab Holdfast, of Bristol; Trade. 'Tis the merchant makes the belleperadventure, he will be here this night; there-How would the ladies sparkle in the box without fore, Sarah, do thou take care for his reception, the merchant ? The Indian diamond! The
[Gives her the letter. French brocade! The Italian fan! The FlanMírs Prim. I will obey thee.
ders lace! The fine Dutch holland ! How would
[Erit Mrs Prim. they vent their scandal over their tea-tables ? Oba. Prim. What art thou in the dumps for, And where would your beaux have Champagne Anne ?
to toast their mistresses, were it not for the more Trade. We must marry her, Mr Prim.
chant? Oba. Prim. Why, truly, if we could find a hus- Oba. Prim. Verily, neighbour Tradelove, thou band worth having, I should be as glad to see her dost waste thy breath about nothing---All that married as thou wouldst, neighbour.
thou hast said, tendeth only to debauch youth, Per. Well said ; there are but few worth ha- and fill their heads with the pride and luxury of ving.
this world---The merchant is a very great friend Trade. I can recommend you a man, now, to satan, and sendeth as many to his dominions that I think you can none of you have an objec- as the pope. tion to.
Per. Right; I say knowledge makes the man.
Oba. Prim. Yea, but not thy kind of knowEnter Sir PuILIP MODELOVE,
ledge- -It is the knowledge of truth. Search
thou for the light within, and not for baubles, Per. You recommend! Nay, whenever she friend. marries, I'll recommend the husband
Mrs Love. Ah, study your country's good, Mr Sir Phi. What must it be, a whale or a rhino- Periwinkle, and not her insects. Rid you of ceros, Mr Periwinkle? Ha, ha, ha! Mr Trade your home-bred monsters, before fetch
any love, I have a bill upon you—[Gives him a paper] from abroad I dare swear, you have maggots —and have been seeking for you all over the enough in your own brain, to stock all the virtutown.
osos in Europe with butterflies. Trade. I'll accept it, sir Philip, and pay it Sir Phi. By my soul, miss Nancy's a wit ! when due.
Oba. Prim. That is more than she can say by Per. He shall be none of the fops at your end thee, friend-Look ye, it is in vain to talk; when of the town, with full perukes and empty' skulls, | I meet a man wortiiy of her, she shall have my nor yet any of your trading gentry, who puzzle leave to marry hiin. the heralds to find arms for their coaches.
Mrs Love. Provided he be of the faithfulhe shall be a man famous for travels, solidity, and was there ever such a swarm of caterpillars to curiosity; one who has searched into the profun- blast the hopes of a woman (alside.--know dity of nature! When Ileaven shall direct such this, that you contend in vain : I'll have no husa one, he shall have my consent, because it may band of your choosing, nor shall you lord it over turn to the benefit of mankind.
me long--I'll try the power of an English sevate Mrs Love. The benefit of mankind! What, -Orphans have been redressed, and wills set would you anatomize me?
aside ---And none did ever deserve their pity Vol. II.
more---Oh, Fainwell! Where are thy promises Mrs Prim. No, alas! she's one of the unto free me from these vermin? Alas! the task godly. was more difficult than he imagined !
Oba Prim. Pray thee, mind what this good
man will say unto thee; he will teach thee the A harder task than what the poets tell way that thou shouldest walk, Anne. Of yore, the fair Andromeda betel;
Mrs Love. I know my way without his in She but one monster feared, l've four to fear, struction : I hoped to have been quiet when once And see no Perseus, no deliverer near. I had put on your odious formality here.
[Erit Mrs Lovely. Col. Then thou wearest it out of compulsion,
not choice, friend? Enter Servant, and whispers to Prim.
Mrs Love. Thou art in the right of it, friend. Ser. One Simon Pure inquireth for thee. Mrs Prim. Art thou not ashamed to mimic Per. The woman is mad.
[Erit. the good man? Ah, thou art a stubborn girl! Sir Phil. So you are all, in my opinion. [Erit. Col. Mind her not; she hurteth not me-- If
Oba. Prim. Friend Tradelove, business requi- thou wilt leave her alone with me, I will discuss Teth my presence,
some few points with her, that may, perchance, Trade. Oh, I shan't trouble you--Pox take him soften her stubbornness, and melt her into comfor an unmannerly dog !---However, I have kept pliance. my word with my Dutchman, and will introduce Oba. Prim. Content: I pray thee, put it home him too, for all you.
[Exit. to her. Come, Sarah, let us leave the good man
with her. Enter Colonel, in a quaker's habit.
Mrs Love. (Catching hold of Prim; he breaks Oba. Prim. Friend Pure, thou art welcome ; | loose, and exit.] What do you mean-to leave how is it with friend Holdfast, and all friends in me with this old enthusiastical canter? Don't Bristol? Timothy Littleworth, Joho Slenderbrain, think, because I complied with your formality, and Christopher Keepfaith?
to impose your ridiculous doctrine upon me. Col. A goodly company !--- Aside.].--They are Col. I pray thee, young woman, moderate thy all in health, I thank thee for them.
passion. Obu. Prim. Friend Holdfast writes me word, Mrs Love. I pray thee, walk after thy leader; that thou camest lately from Pennsylvania. How you will but lose labour upon me.—These do all friends there?
wretches will certainly make me mad! Col. What the devil shall I say? I know just Col. I am of another opinion; the spirit tellas much of Pennsylvania, as I do of Bristol. eth me I shall convert thee, Anne.
[ Aside. Mrs Love. 'Tis a lying spirit; don't believe it. Oba. Prim. Do they thrive!
Col. Say'st thou so? Why, then, thuu shalt Col. Yea, friend ; the blessing of their good convert me, my angel. (Catching her in his arms. works falis
Mrs Love. (Shrieks.) Ah! monster, hold off,
or I'll tear thy eyes out. Enter Mrs Prim and Mrs Lovely.
Col. Hush! för Heaven's sake- dost thou not Obu. Prim. Sarah, know our friend Pure. know me? I am Fainwell. Mrs Prim. Thou art welcome.
Mrs Love. Fainwell! [Enter old PRIM.] Oh,
[He salutes her. I'm undone! Prim here- I wish, with all my Col. Here comes the sum of all my wishes-----soul, I had been dumb ! How charming she appears, even in that dis- Oba. Prim. What is the matter? Why did'st guise !
[Aside. thou sbriek out, Anne? Oba. Prim. Why dost thou consider the mai- Mrs Love. Shriek out! I'll shriek, and shriek den so attentively, friend?
again; cry murder, thieves, or any thing, to Col. I will tell thee: about four days ago I drown the noise of that eternal babbler, if you saw a vision---This very maiden, but in vain at leave me with him any longer. tire, standing on a precipice; and heard a voice, Oba. Prim. Was that all? Fy, fy, Anne ! which called me by my name---and bid me put Col. No matter; I'll bring down her stomach, forth my hand and save her from the pit---I did I'll warrant thee Leave us, I pray thee. $0; and, methought, the damsel grew unto my Oba, Prim. Fare thee well.
Col. My charming, lovely woman! Mrs Prim. What can that portend?
[Embraces her. Oba. Prim. The damsel's conversion-
Mrs Love. What meanest thou by this dispersuaded.
guise, Fainwell? Mrs Love. That's false, I'm sure [Aside Col. To set thee free, if thou wilt perform thy
Oba. Prim. Wilt thou use, the means, friend promise. Pure?
Mrs Love. Make me mistress of my fortune, Col. Means! What means? Is she not thy and make thy own conditions. daughter, already one of the faithful?
Col. This night shall answer all my wishes.
See here, I have the consent of three of thy Col. Take thou heed, friend, what thou dost guardians already, and doubt not bu: Prim will say: I do affirm that I amn Simon Pare. make the fourth.
[Prom listening Sim. Pure. Thy nanie may be Pure, friend, but Oba. Prim. I would gladly hear what argu- not that Pure. ments the good man uscth to bend her. [Aside. Col. Yea, that Pure, which my good friend,
Mrs Love. Thy words give me new life, me- Aminadab Holdfast, wrote to my friend Prim thinks.
about; the same Simon Pure that came from Oba. Prim. What do I hear?
Pennsylvania, and sojourned in Bristol eleven Mrs Love. Thou best of men ! Heaven meant days—thou wouldst not take my name froin to bless me, sure, when I first saw thee.
me, wouldst thou ?till I have done with it. Oba. Prim. He hath mollified her.- -Oh,
[Aside. wonderful conversion !
Sim. Pure. Thy name! I'm astonished! Col. Ha! Prim listening.–No more, my love; Col. At what? at thy own assurance ? we are observed; seem to be editied, and give [Going up to him, Simon Pure starts back. them hopes that thou wilt turn quaker, and leave Sim. Pure. Avaunt, Satan! approach me not; the rest to me. (Aloud.] I am glad to find that I defy thee and all thy works. thou art touched with what I said unto thee, Mrs Love. Oh, he'll outcant him-Undone, li'lAnne; another time I will explain the other ar- done for ever.
[Asude. ticle unto thee; in the mean while, be thou du- Col. Hark thee, friend, thy sham will not tahe tiful to our friend Primn.
-Don't exert thy voice; thou art too well acMrs Love. I shall obey thee in every thing. quainted with Satan to start at him, thou wicked
reprobate-What can thiy design be here? Enter OBADIAH PRIM. Oba. Prim. Oh, what a prodigious change
Enter a Servant, and gives Prim a letter. is here !- Thou hast wrought a miracle, friend! Oba. Prim. One of these must be a counterAnne, how dost thou like the doctrine he hath feit; but which, I cannot say. preached ?
Col. What can that letter be? (Aside. Mrs Love. So well, that I could talk to him Sim. Pure. Thou must be the devil, friend, for ever, methinks—I am ashamed of my former that's certain; for no human power can stock so folly, and ask your pardon, Mr Prim.
great a falsehood. Col. Enough, enough, that thou art sorry; he Oba. Prim. This letter sayeth that thou art is no pope, Anne.
better acquainted with that prince of darkness Oba. Prim. Verily, thou dost rejoice me ex- than any here.—Read that, I pray thee, Simon. ceedingly, friend; will it please thee to walk into
[Gives it to the Colonel. the next room, and refresh thyself—Come, Col. 'Tis Freeman's hand—[Reads.] · There take the maiden by the hand.
is a design formed to rob your house this night, Col. We will follow thee.
and cut your throat; and for that purpose there
' is a man disguised like a quaker, who is to Enter Servant.
pass for one Simon Pure; the gang, whereof I Ser. There is another Simon Pure inquireth am one, though now resolved to rob no more, for thee, master.
• has been at Bristol ; one of them came in the Col. The devil there is!
[Aside. • coach with the quaker, whose name he hath Oba. Prim. Another Simon Pure! I do not • taken ; and, from what he hath gathered from know him. Is he any relation of tbine?
him, formed that design; and did not doubt but Col. No, friend; I know him not- -Pox take • he should so far impose upon you, as to make him! I wish he were in Pennsylvania again, you turn out the real Simon Pure, and keep soul.
Asidé. • him with you. Make the right use of this. Mrs Love. What shall I do? [Aside. Adieu.' Excellent well!
[Aside. Oba. Prim. Bring him up.
Oba. Prim. Dost thou hear this? Col. Humph! then one of us must go down;
[To Simon Purr. that's certain.-Now, impudence assist me! Sim. Pure. Yea, but it moveth me not; that,
doubtless, is the impostor. Enter Simon PURE.
[Pointing at the Colonel. Oba. Prim. What is thy will with me, friend? Col. Ah! thou wicked one-now I consider
Sim. Pure. Didst thou not receive a letter thy face, I remember thou didst come up in the from Aminadab Holdfast, of Bristol, concerning leathern conveniency with me—thou hadst a one Simon Pure ?
black bob wig on, and a brown camblet coat with Oba. Prim. Yea; and Simon Pure is already brass buttons.- -Can'st thou deny it, ha? here, friend.
Sim. Pure. Yea, I can; and with a safe conCol. And Simon Pure will stay here, friend, if science, too, friend. it be possible.
[Aside. Oba. Prim. Verily, friend, thou art the most Sim. Pure. That's an untruth; for I am he. impudent villain I ever saw.
with all my