sometimes it is very ridiculous. My uneasiness this morning, for instance, ha, ha, ha! To be so much alarmed about that idle letter, which turned out quite another thing at last; was not I very angry with you? ha, ha, ha! [Affecting a laugh. Oak. Don't mention it. Let us both forget it. Your present cheerfulness makes amends for every thing.

Mrs. Ó. I am apt to be too violent; I love you too well to be quite easy about you. [Fondly.] Well, no matter : what is become of Charles?

Oak. Poor fellow! he is on the wing, rambling all over the town, in pursuit of this young lady.

Mrs. O. Where is he gone, pray?

Oak. First of all, I believe, to some of her relations.

Mrs. O. Relations! Who are they? Where do they live ?

Oak. There is an aunt of hers lives just in the neighbourhood; Lady Freelove.

Mrs. O. Lady Freelove! Oho! gone to Lady Freelove's, is he? and do you think he will hear any thing of her?

Oak. I don't know; but I hope so, with all my soul.

Mrs. O. Hope! with all your soul; do you hope so? Alarmed. Dak. Hope so! ye-yes, why, don't you hope so? [Surprised. | Mrs. O. Why, yes. [Recovering.] O, ay, to be sure. I hope it of all things. You know, my dear, it must give me great satisfaction, as well as yourself, to see Charles well settled. Oak. I should think so; and really I don't know where he can be settled so well. She is a most deserving young woman, I assure you. Mrs. O. You are well acquainted with her then?

Oak. To be sure, my dear; after seeing her so often last summer, at the major's house in the country, and at her father's.

Mrs. O. So often!

Oak. O, ay, very often; Charles took care of that, almost every day.

Mrs. O. Indeed! But pray-a-a-a-I say [Confused.

-a-a

Oak. What do you say, my dear? Mrs. O. I say-a-a [Stammering.] Is she handsome?

Oak. Prodigiously handsome indeed. Mrs. O. Prodigiously handsome! and is she reckoned a sensible girl?

Oak. A very sensible, modest, agreeable young lady, as ever I knew. You would be extremely fond of her, I am sure. You can't imagine how happy I was in her company. Poor Charles! she soon made a conquest of him, and no wonder, she has so many elegant accomplishments! such an infinite fund of cheerfulness and good humour. Why, she's the darling of the whole country.

Mrs. O. Lord! you seem quite in raptures

about her!

Oak. Raptures ! not at all. I was only telling you the young lady's character. I thought you would be glad to find that Charles had made so sensible a choice, and was so likely to be happy.

Mrs. O. Oh, Charles! True, as you say, Charles will be mighty happy.

Oak. Don't you think so?

Mrs. O. I am convinced of it. Poor Charles, I am much concerned for him. He must be very uneasy about her. I was thinking

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whether we could be of any service to him in this affair.

Oak. Was you, my love? that is very good of you. Why, to be sure, we must endeavour to assist him. Let me see; how can we manage it? 'Gad! I have hit it. The luckiest thought! and it will be of great service to Charles.

Mrs. O. Well, what is it? [Engerly.] You know I would do any thing to serve Charles, and oblige you. [Mildly.

Oak. That is so kind. Lord, my dear, if you would but always consider things in this proper light, and continue this amiable temper, we should be the happiest people

Mrs. O. I believe so; but what's your proposal?

Ouk. I am sure you'll like it. Charles, you know, may perhaps be so lucky as to meet with this lady.

Mrs. O. True.

Mrs. O. Was there ever such assurance! [Rises.] Take her under my protection! What! would you keep her under my nose?

Oak. Nay, I never conceived; I thought you would have approved―

Mrs. O. What! make me your convenient woman ! No place but my own house to serve your purposes?

Oak. Lord, this is the strangest misapprehension! I am quite astonished.

Mrs. O. Astonished! yes-confused, detected, betrayed, by your vain confidence of imposing on me.-Why, sure, you imagine me an idiot, a driveller.-Charles, indeed! yes, Charles is a fine excuse for you. The letter this morning, the letter, Mr. Oakly!

Ouk. The letter! why, sure, that

Mrs. O. Is sufficiently explained. You have made it very clear to me. Now I am convinced. I have no doubt of your perfidy. But I thank you for some hints you have given me, and you may be sure I shall make use of them : nor will I rest till I have full conviction, and overwhelm you with the strongest proof of your baseness towards me. Oak. Nay, but

Mrs. O. Go, go! I have no doubt of your falsehood: away! [Exit.

Oak. Was there ever any thing like this? Such unaccountable behaviour! angry I don't know why ! jealous of I know not what! Hints!-hints I have given her! What can

she mean?

Enter TOILET, crossing the Stage. Toilet, where are you going? Toi. To order the porter to let in no com pany to my lady to-day. She wont see a single soul, Sir. [Erit.

Oak. What an unhappy woman! Now will she sit all day feeding on her suspicions, till she has convinced herself of the truth of them.

set?

Serv. In her own chamber, Madam. Lady F. What is she doing? Serv. Writing I believe, Madam. Lady F. Oh, ridiculous! scribbling to that Oakly, I suppose. [Apart.] Let her know, I should be glad of her company here. [Exit SERVANT.] It is a mighty troublesome thing to manage a simple girl, that knows nothing of the world. Harriet, like all other girls, is foolishly fond of this young fellow of her own choosing, her first love; that is to say, the first man that is particularly civil; and the first air of consequence which a young lady gives herself. Poor silly soul!-But Oakly must not have her, positively. A match with Lord Trinket will add to the dignity of the family. I must bring her into it. But here she comes.

Enter HARRIET.

Well, Harriet, still in the pouts! nay, pr'ythee, my dear little runaway girl, be more cheerful! your everlasting melancholy puts me into the vapours.

Har. Dear Madam, excuse me. How can I be cheerful in my present situation? I know my father's temper so well, that I am sure this step of mine must almost distract him. I sometimes wish that I had remained in the country, let what would have been the consequence.

Lady F. Why, it is a naughty child, that's certain; but it need not be so uneasy about papa, as you know that I wrote by last night's post to acquaint him that his little lost sheep was safe, and that you were ready to obey his commands in every particular, except marrying that oaf, Sir Harry Beagle.-Lord! Lord! what a difference there is between a country and a town education! Why, a London lass would have jumped out of a window into a gallant's arms, and without thinking of her father, unless it were to have drawn a few bills on him, been a hundred miles off in nine or ten hours, or perhaps out of the kingdom in twentyfour.

Har. I fear I have already been too precipitate. I tremble for the consequences.

Lady F. I swear, child, you are a downright prude. Your way of talking gives me the spleen; so full of affection, and duty, and virtue, 'tis just like a funeral sermon. And yet, pretty soul! it can love.-Well, I wonder at your taste; a sneaking, simple gentleman,

without a title! and when to my knowledge you might have a man of quality to-morrow. Har. Perhaps so. Your ladyship must excuse me, but many a man of quality would make me miserable.

Lady F. Indeed, my dear, these antediluvian notions will never do now-a-days; and at the same time too, those little wicked eyes of yours speak a very different language. Indeed you have fine eyes, child! and they have made fine work with Lord Trinket. [Contemptuously.

Har. Lord Trinket!

Lady F. Yes, Lord Trinket: you know it as well as I do; and yet, you ill-natured thing, you will not vouchsafe him a single smile. But you must give the poor soul a little encouragement, pr'ythee do. Har. Indeed I can't, Madam, for of all mankind Lord Trinket is my aversion.

well-bred, sensible, young fellow, and the Lady F. Why so, child? He is counted a women all think him handsome.

Har. Yes, he is just polite enough to be able to be very unmannerly, with a great deal of good breeding; is just handsome enough to make him most excessively vain of his person; and has just reflection enough to finish him for a coxcomb; qualifications which are all very common among those whom your ladyship calls men of quality.

Lady F. A satirist too! Indeed my dear, this affectation sits very awkwardly upon you. There will be a superiority in the behaviour of persons of fashion.

Har. A superiority, indeed! for his lordship always behaves with so much insolent familiarity, that I should almost imagine he was soliciting me for other favours, rather than to pass my whole life with him.

Lady F. Innocent freedoms, child, which every fine woman expects to be taken with her as an acknowledgment of her beauty.

Har. They are freedoms which I think no innocent woman can allow.

Lady F. Romantic to the last degree!-Why, you are in the country still, Harriet!

Enter a SERVANT.

Serv. My Lord Trinket, Madam. [Exit. Lady L. I swear now I have a good mind to tell him all you have said.

Enter LORD TRINKET, in boots, &c. as from the riding house.

Your lordship's most obedient humble servant.

Lord T. Your ladyship does me too much honour. Here I am, en bottine, as you seejust come from the menège.

Lady F. Your lordship is always agreeable in every dress.

Lord T. Vastly obliging, Lady Freelove. Miss Russet, I am your slave. I declare it makes me quite happy to find you together. 'Pon honour, Ma'am, [To HARRIET.] I begin to conceive great hopes of you; and as for you, Lady Freelove, I cannot sufficiently commend your assiduity with your fair pupil. She was before possessed of every grace that nature could bestow on her, and nobody is so well qualified as your ladyship to give her the bon ton.

Har. Compliment and contempt all in a breath!-My lord, I am obliged to you. But, waving my acknowledgments, give me leave to ask your lordship whether nature and the 4 L

bon ton (as you call it) are so different, that we must give up one in order to obtain the other?

Lord T. Totally opposite, Madam. The chief aim of the bon ton is to render persons of family different from the vulgar, for whom indeed nature serves very well. For this reason it has, at various times, been ungenteel to see, to hear, to walk, to be in good health, and to have twenty other horrible perfections of nature. Nature indeed may do very well sometimes. It made you, for instance, and it then made something very lovely; and if you would suffer us of quality to give you the ton, you would be absolutely divine: but now-meMadam-me-nature never made such a thing as me.

Har. Why, indeed, I think your lordship has very few obligations to her.

Lord T. Then you really think it's all my own? I declare now that is a mighty genteel compliment: nay, if you begin to flatter alady, you improve apace. 'Pon honour, Lady Freelove, I believe we shall make something of her at last.

Lady F. No doubt on't. It is in your lordship's power to make her a complete woman of fashion at once.

Lord T. Hum! Why, ay

Har. Your lordship must excuse me. I am of a very tasteless disposition. I shall never bear to be carried out of nature.

Lady F. You are out of nature now, Harriet! I am sure no woman but yourself ever objected to being carried among persons of quality. Would you believe it, my lord! here has she been a whole week in town, and would never suffer me to introduce her to a rout, an assembly, a concert, or even to court, or the opera; nay, would hardly so much as mix with a living soul that has visited me.

Lord T. No wonder, Madam, you do not adopt the manners of persons of fashion, when you will not even honour them with your company. Were you to make one in our little coteries, we should soon make you sick of the boors and bumpkins of the horrid country. By the by, I met a monster at the ridinghouse this morning who gave me some intelligence, that will surprise you, concerning your family.

Har. What intelligence?

Ludy F. Who was this monster, as your lordship calls him? a curiosity, I dare say.

Lord T. This monster, Madam, was formerly my head groom, and had the care of all my running horses; but growing most abominably surly and extravagant, as you know all these fellows do, turned him off; and ever since my brother, Slouch Trinket, has had the care of my stud, rides all my principal matches himself, and

Har. Dear, my lord, don't talk of your groom and your brother, but tell me the news. Do you know any thing of my father?

Lord T. Your father, Madam, is now in town. This fellow, you must know, is now groom to Sir Harry Beagle, your sweet rural swain, and informed me that his master and your father were running all over the town in quest of you; and that he himself has orders to inquire after you: for which reason, I suppose, he came to the riding-house stables to look after a horse, thinking it, to be sure, a very likely place to meet you. Your father, perhaps, is gone to seek you at the Tower, or Westminster Abbey, which is all the idea he has of London;

and your faithful lover is probably cheapening a hunter, and drinking strong beer, at the Horse and Jocky in Smithfield.

Lady F. The whole set admirably disposed of! Har. Did not your lordship inform him where I was?

Lord T. Not I, 'pon honour, Madam; that I left to their own ingenuity to discover."

Lady F. And pray, my lord, where in this town have this polite company bestowed themselves?

Lord T. They lodge, Madam, of all places in the world, at the Bull and Gate Inn, in Holborn.

Lady F. Ha, ha, ha! The Bull and Gate! Incomparable! What, have they brought any hay or cattle to town?

Lord T. Very well, Lady Freelove, very well indeed! There they are like so many graziers; and there, it seems, they have learned that this lady is certainly in London.

Har. Do, dear Madam, send a card directly to my father, informing him where I am, and that your ladyship would be glad to see him here. For my part I dare not venture into his presence, till you have in some measure pacified him; but for Heaven's sake, desire him not to bring that wretched fellow along with him.

Lord T. Wretched fellow! Oho! Courage, Milor Trinket! [Aside. Lady F. I'll send immediately. Who's there?

Lady F. How abominably unlucky this is! Well, then, show him into my dressing-room, I will come to him there. [Exit SERVANT. Lord T. Lady Freelove! no engagement, I hope? We wont part with you, 'pon honour. Lady F. The worst engagement in the world. A pair of musty old prudes! Lady Formal and Miss Prate.

Lord T. O the beldams! As nauseous as ipecacuanha, 'pon honour.

Lady F. Lud, lud! what shall I do with them? Why do these foolish women come troubling me now? I must wait on them in the dressing-room, and you must excuse the card, Harriet, till they are gone. I'll dispatch them as soon as I can, but Heaven knows when I shall get rid of them, for they are both everlasting gossips! though the words come from her ladyship one by one, like drops from a still, while the other tiresome woman overwhelms us with a flood of impertinence. Harriet, you'll entertain his lordship till I return.

[Exit.

Lord T. Gone!-'Pon honour, I am not sorry for the coming in of these old tabbies, and am much obliged to her ladyship for leaving us such an agreeable tête-à-tête.

Har. Your lordship will find me extremely bad company.

Lord T. Not in the least, my dear! We'll entertain ourselves one way or other, I'll warrant you.-'Egad, I think it a mighty good opportunity to establish a better acquaintance with you.

Har. I don't understand you.

Lord T. No? Why then I'll speak plainer.-[Pausing, and looking her full in the face.]

and make a formal repetition of your proposal of marriage.

Lord T. Your ladyship is perfectly in the right. You are quite au fait of the affair. It shall be done immediately, and then your reputation will be safe, and my conduct justified to all the world. But should the old rustic continue as stubborn as his daughter, your ladyship, I hope has no objections to my being a little rusée, for I must have her, 'pon honour.

Enter SERVANT.

Serv. Captain O'Cutter, to wait on your ladyship.

Lady F. O the hideous fellow! The Irish sailor-man, for whom I prevailed on your lordship to get the post of regulating captain. I suppose he is come to load me with his odious thanks. I wont be troubled with him

now.

Lord T. Let him in, by all means. He is the best creature to laugh at in nature. He is a perfect sea-monster, and always looks and talks as if he was upon deck. Besides, a thought strikes me- He may be of use. Lady F. Well- -send the creature up then. [Exit SERVANT.] But what fine thought is this? Lord T. A coup de maître, 'pon honour! I intend-but, hush! here the porpus comes.

Enter CAPTAIN O'CUTTER.

Lady F. Captain, your humble servant! I am very glad to see you.

O'Cut. I am much obliged to you, my lady! Upon my conscience, the wind favours me at all points. I had no sooner got under weigh, to tank your ladyship, but I have borne down upon my noble friend his lordship too. I hope your lordship's well?

Lord T. Very well, I thank you, captain:but you seem to be hurt in the service: what is the meaning of that patch over your right eye?

O'Cut. Some advanced wages from my new post, my lord! This pressing is hot work, though it entitles us to smart money.

Lady F. And pray, in what perilous adventure did you get that scar, captain?

O'Cut. Quite out of my element, indeed, my lady, I got it in an engagement by land. A day or two ago, I spied three stout fellows, belonging to a merchantman. They made down Wapping. I immediately gave my lads the signal to chase, and we bore down right upon them. They tacked, and lay to.-We gave them a thundering broadside, which they resaved like men; and one of them made use of small arms, which carried off the weathermost corner of Ned Gage's hat; so I immediately stood in with him, and raked him, but resaved a wound on my starboard eye, from the stock of the pistol. However we took them all, and they now lie under the hatches, with fifty more, aboard a tender off the Tower. Lord T. Well done, noble captain!-But however you will soon have better employment, for I think the next step to your present post, is commonly a ship.

O'Cut. The sooner the better, my lord! Honest Terence O'Cutter shall never flinch, I warrant you; and has had as much sea-sarvice as any man in the navy.

Lord T. You may depend on my good offices, captain! But, in the meantime, it is in your power to do me a favour.

O'Cut. A favour my lord?-your lordship

does me honour. I would go round the world, from one end to the other, by day or by night, to sarve your lordship, or my good lady here.

Lord T. Dear Madam, the luckiest thought in nature! [Apart to LADY F.] The favour I have to ask of you, captain, need not carry you so far out of your way. The whole affair is, that there are a couple of impudent fellows at an inn in Holborn, who have affronted me, and you would oblige me infinitely, by pressing them into his majesty's service. Lady F. Now I understand-Admirable!

[Apart.

O'Cut. With all my heart, my lord, and tank you too, 'fait. But, by the by, I hope they are not house-keepers, or freemen of the city. There's the devil to pay in meddling with them. They boder one so about liberty, and property, and stuff.-It was but t'other day that Jack Trowser was carried before my lord mayor, and lost above a twelvemonth's pay for nothing at all, at all.

Lord T. I'll take care you shall be brought into no trouble. These fellows were formerly my grooms. If you'll call on me in the morning, I'll go with you to the place.

O'Cut. I'll be with your lordship, and bring with me four or five as pretty boys as you'll wish to clap your two looking eyes upon of a summer's day.

Lord T. I am much obliged to you-But, captain, I have another little favour to beg of you.

O'Cut. Upon my shoul, I'll do it.
Lord T. What, before you know it?
O'Cut. Fore and aft, my lord!

Lord T. A gentleman has offended me in a point of honour

O'Cut. Cut his troat!

Lord T. Will you carry him a letter from me? O'Cut. Indeed and I will:-and I'll take you in tow too; and you shall engage him yard-arm and yard-arm.

Lord T. Why then, captain, you'll come a little earlier to-morrow morning than you proposed, that you may attend him with my billet, before you proceed on the other affair.

O'Cut. Never fear it, my lord-Your sarvant! My ladyship, your humble sarvant!

Lady F. Captain, yours-Pray give my service to my friend Mrs. O'Cutter. How does she do?

O'Cut. I tank your ladyship's axing-The dear creature is purely tight and well.

Lord T. How many children have you, captain?

O'Cut. Four, an please your lordship, and another upon the stocks.

Lord T. When it is launched, I hope to be at the christening.-I'll stand godfather, captain.

O'Cut. Your lordship's very good. Lord T. Well, you'll come to-morrow. O'Cut. Ay, my lord, and every day next week.-Little Terence O'Cutter never fails, fait, when a troat is to be cut. [Exit.

Lady F. Ha, ha, ha! but, sure, you don't intend to ship off both her father and her country lover for the Indies?

Lord T. O no! Only let them contemplate the inside of a ship, for a day or two.

Lady F. Well, my lord, what use do you propose to make of this stratagem?

Lord T. Every use in nature. This artifice must, at least, take them out of the way for some time; and in the mean while measures may be concerted to carry off the girl.