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Sir Bash. If you never gave me cause, ma- Side. I thought your honour called. dam

Sir Bash. [Aside. -A thought comes across Lady Con. Oh! for mercy's sake, truce with me; I'll write her a letter. Yes, yes, a letter altercation. I am tired out with the eternal vio- will do the business. Sideboard, draw that table lence of your temper. Those frequent starts of this way—Reach me a chair. passion hurry me out of my senses : and those un- Side. There, your honour. accountable whims, that hold such constant pos- Sir Bash. Do you stay while I write a letter. session of you

You shall carry it for me, [Sits down to write. Sir Bash. Whims, madam ?- Not to comply Side. Yes, sir. I hope he has an intrigue upon with you in every thing, is a whim, truly! Must his hands. A servant thrives under a master I yield to the exorbitant demands of your extra- that has his private amusements. Love on, say vagance? When you laid close siege to me for I, if you are so given; it will bring grist to my diamond baubles, and I know not what, was that mill. a whim of mine? Did I take that fancy into my Sir Bash. [Writing.) This will surprise her. head without cause, and without sufficient founda- Warm, passionate, and tender! and yet it does tion?

not come up to what I feel. Lady Con. Well, we have exhausted the sub- Side. What is he at?-I may as well read the ject. Have not you told me a thousand times, news-paper. (Takes it out of his pocket.] What, that there is no living with me? I agree to it. in the name of wonder, is all this?--Ha, ha! And have not I returned the compliment ? We [Bursts into a loud laugh.] I never heard the have nothing new to say; and now, all that re- like of this before. Oh, ho, ho, ho ! mains, is to let the lawyer reduce to writing our Sir Bash. What does the scoundrel mean? mutual opinions, and so we may part with the

[Stares at him. pleasure of giving each other a most woful cha- Side. Ha, ha ha! I can't help laughing. racter.

Sir Bash. Does the villain suspect me? (Rises.] Sir Bash. [Aside.] The buckles have had no Hark ye, sirrah, if ever I find that you dare listen effect. Stubborn! she has received them, and at any door in my housewon't own it.

Side. Sir! Lady Con. A dash of your pen, sir, at the Sir Bash. Confess the truth : have not you foot of certain articles now preparing, will make been listening to my conversation with Mr Love

(Going more this morning Sir Bash. If we don't live happily, it is your Side. Who, I, sir? I would not be guilty of own fault.

such a thing : I never did the like in all my days. Lady Con. That is very odd.

Sir Bash. What was you laughing at? Sir Bush. If you would control your passion

Side. A foolish thing in the newspaper, sir,

that's all. I'll read it to your honour. (Reads.] Lady Con. Quite threadbare !

We hear that a new comedy is now in rehearsal, Sir Bash. I have still a regard for you. and will speedily be performed, entitled, “The

Lady Con. Worn-out to frippery !- I can't Amorous Husband; or, The Man in Love with hear any more. The law will dress it up in new his own Wife.? language for us, and that will end our differences. Sir Bash And what do you see to laugh at?

[Erit. Side. See, sir? I have lived in a great many Sir Bash. [Alone.] I must unburthen my heart : families, and never heard of the like before. there is no time to be lost. I love her; I admire Sir Bash. [Aside.] There, there, there !I her ; she inflames my tenderest passions, and shall be the butt of my own servants.—Sirrah, raises such a conflict here in my very heart, I leave the room. And let me never hear that you cannot any longer conceal the secret from her. have the trick of listening in my house. I'll go and tell her all this moment. But then, Side. No, sir, The Man in love with his own that meddling fiend, her maid, will be there : po! Wife!

Erit laughing. I can turn her out of the room : but then, the Sir Bash. What does the varlet mean? - No jade will suspect something. Her ladyship may matter-I have finished my letter, and it shall be be alone : I'll send to know where she is. "Who sent this moment. -But then, if I should get is there? Sideboard

into a comedy? Po! no more scruples. I'll seal

it directly-SideboardEnter SIDEBOARD.

Enter SIDEBOARD. Sir Bash. Go and tell your lady that

[Pauses. Sir Bash. Sealing the letter.) I have opened Side. Did your honour want me ?

my heart to her. What do you bring your hat Sir Bash. No matter; it does not signify.- and stick for? [Aside.] I shall never be able to tell her my Side. To go out with your honour's letter. mind : a glance of her eye, and my own confu- Sir Bash. You have not far to go. Take this, sion, will undo all.

and let nobody see you.

us both easy.

for play

thank you.

Side. I warrant me, your honour. [Erit. Sir Bash. That's what alarmed me. You shall

Sir Bash. I feel much lighter now. A load is write the superscription, and send it to her. taken off my heart.

Love. No; that won't do. Give her a letter

under Enter SIDEBOARD.

hand! I'll speak to her for you: let your

me try how her pulse beats, Sir Bash. What do you come back for? Sir Bash. But a letter may draw an answer

Side. A word or two, by way of direction, if from her, and then you know—[Smiling at him.] you please, sir.

-I shall have it under her hand. Sir Bash. Blockhead ! Give it to me-[Aside.] Love. I don't like this hurry: we had better -If I direct it, he finds me out. Go about your take time to consider of it. business: I have no occasion for you : leave the Sir Bash. No: I cannot defer the business of room.

my heart a single moment. It burns like a feSide. Very well, sir. Does he think to manage ver here. Sit down, and write the direction; I'll his own intrigues? If he takes my commission step and send the servant. He shall carry it, as out of my hands, I shall give him warning. The if it were a letter from yourself. vices of our masters are all the vails a poor servant has left.


Enter SIDEBOARD. Sir Bash. What must be done? Mr Lovemore Side. Sir Brilliant Fashion is below, sir. could conduct this business for me. He is a man Love. What brings him? He will only interof address, and knows all the approaches to a rupt us. Go, and talk to him, sir Bashful; hear woman's heart. That fellow Sideboard coming what he has to say; amuse him; any thing, raagain? No, no; this is lucky. Mr Lovemore, ther than let him come up. I am glad to see you.

Sir Bash. I am gone: he shan't molest you.


Love. Fly! make haste; and don't let him

know that I am here. A lucky accident this! I Lode. A second visit, you see, in one day; en- have gained time by it. All matters were in a tirely on the score of friendship.

right train, and he himself levelling the road for Sir Bash. And I thank you for it; heartily me, and now this letter blows me up into the air

at once. Some unlucky planet rules to-day.Love. I broke away from the company at the First, the widow Bellinour; a hair-breadth escape St Alban's, on purpose to attend you. Well, I I had of it, and now almost ruined here! What, have made your lady easier in her mind, have in the name of wonder, has he writ to her? not I?

Friendship and wafer, by your leave. But, will Sir Bash. We don't hit it at all, Mr Lovemore that be delicate ? Po! honour has always a great Love. No!

deal to preach upon these occasions; but then, Sir Bash. I think she has been rather worse the business of my love ! Very true; the passions since you spoke to her.

need but say a word, and their business is done. Love. A good symptom that. [Aside. -(Opens the letter, and reads.]—This must ne

Sir Bash. She has received the diamond ver reach her. I'll write a letter from myself.buckles. They were delivered to her maid, seal- [Sits down, writes, and starts up.)-1 bear him ed up, and the man never staid be asked a coming: no; all's safe.—[ Writes. This will do : question. I saw them in her own hand; but not vastly well. Her husband's inhumanity! Ay, å syllable escaped her. She was not in the least mention that. The diamonds may be a present softened; obstinate as a mule !

from me: yes, I'll venture it-There, there; that Love. The manner of conveying your presents will do—Long adored-ay-sweetest revenge.-was not well judged. Why did you not make Ay-eternal adınirer—Lovemore. Now, now, me the bearer?

let me see it. Admirable! this will do the buSir Bash. I wish I had. She talks of parting ;siness.

[Seals the letter. and so, to avoid coming to extremities, I have even thought of telling her the whole truth at

Enter Sir Bashful. once.

Sir Bash. Well, have you sent it? Love. How ? Acquaint her with your passion? Love. Not yet : I am writing the direction.

Sir Bash. Ay, and trust to her honour. I Sir Bash. And where is that blockhead? Sidecould not venture to speak; I should blush, and board! faulter, and look silly; and so I have writ a letler to her. Here it is, signed and sealed, but not

Enter SIDEBOARD. directed. I got into a puzzle about that. Servants, you know, are always putting their own Numskull! Why don't you wait? Mr Lovemore construction upon things.

Love. No doubt: and then your secret fies all Love. Step and deliver this to your lady, and, over the town.

if she pleases, I will wait upon her.

wants you,


Sir Bash. Charming !-Take it up stairs di- Love, I take it more to heart than you are rectly.

aware of. Side. Up stairs, sir? My lady is in the next Sir Bash. This is mortifying ; enough to make

one ashamed all the rest of one's life. Sir Bash. Take it to her; make haste; be- Love. I did not expect this sullen ill-humour. gone! [Erit SIDEBOARD.] I hope this will suc- Sir Bash. Did you ever know so obstinate, so ceed: I shall be for ever obliged to you, and so uncomplying a temper? will her ladyship. Love. I hope she will, and I shall be proud to

Enter Sir BRILLIANT. serve her.

Sir Bril. Sir Bashful, I forgot to tell you— Sir Bash. You are very good. She won't prove Love. He again! he haunts me up and down, ungrateful, I dare answer for her. I should like to as Vice did the devil, with a dagger of lath, in see how she receives the letter. The door is con- the old comedy.

[Aside. veniently open. I will have a peep. Ay, there; Sir Bril. Hey! what's the matter? You seem there she sits.

both out of humour: what does this mean? Have Love. Where, sir Bashful?

you quarrelled? Sir Bash. Hush! no noise. There, do you see Sir Bash. No, sir, no quarrel :-Why would her? She has the letter in her hand - This is a my booby servant let him in again? [Aside. critical moment: I am all over in a tremble. Sir Bril. Strike me stupid, but you look very

Love. Silence ! not a word. She opens it.- queer upon it! Lovemore is borrowing money, I [Aside.) Now, my dear Cupid, befriend me now, suppose. Sir Bashful is driving a hard bargain, and vour altar shall smoke with incense.

and you can't agree about the premium. Sir Sir Bash. She colours.

Bashful, let my friend Lovemore have the moLove. I like that rising blush: a soft and ten- ney. der token.

Sir Bash. Money !-what does he mean? Sir Bash. She turns pale.

Sir Bril. Both out of humour, I see: well, as Love. The natural working of the passions. you will. You have no reason to be in harmony

Sir Bash. And now she reddens again. What with yourselves; my stars shine with a kinder asis she at now? There, she has torn the letter in pect. Here, here, behold a treasury of love! I two: I am a lo an undone man! (Walks away. came back on purpose to shew it to you. (Takes

Love. She has flung it away with indignation : a shagreen case out of his pocket.] See what a I am undone, too.

present I have received; a magnificent pair of [Aside, and walks away from the door. diamond buckles, by all that's amiable ! Sir Bash. Mr Lovemore, you see what it is all Love. Ilow?

Sir Bush. [Walking up to him.] A pair of diaLove. I am sorry to see so haughty a spirit. mond buckles !

Sir Bash. An arrogant, ungrateful woman, to Sir Bril. How such a present should be sent make such a return to so kind a letter!

to me, is more than I can explain at present. Love. Ay, so kind a letter!

Perhaps my friend, Loveinore, gained some inSir Bash. Did you ever see such an insolent telligence in the quarter where I surprised him scorn?

to-day, on a visit which I little suspected. Love. I never was so disappointed in all my Love. That was to serve you : I know nothing life.

of this business. Sir Bash. A letter full of the tendercst pro- Sir Bril. The pain in your side, I hope, is bettestations! Love. Yes; an unreserved declaration of love! Love. Po! this is only to distract your atten

Sir Bash. Made with the greatest frankness; tion, sir Bashful. throwing myself at her very feet.

Sir Bash. So I suppose. And was this a preLove. Did she once smile? was there the sent to you? faintest gleam of approbation in her countenance? Sir Bril. A present, sir. The consequence of

Sir Bash. She repaid it all with scorn, with having some tolerable phrase, a person, and a due pride, contempt, and insolence. I cannot bear degree of attention to the service of the ladies. this; despised, spurned, and treated like a puppy. Don't you envy me, sir Bashful?

Love. There it stings—like a puppy, indeed ! Sir Bash. I can't but say I do. [Turns to

Sir Bash. Is there a thing in nature so morti- LOVEMORE.] My buckles, by all that's false in fying to the pride of man, as to find one's self re

woman! jected and despised by a fine woman, who is con- Love. Take no notice. [Walks aside.] Has he scious of her power, and triumphs in her cruelty? supplanted me here, too, as well as with the wi

Love. It is the most damnable circumstance? dow?

Sir Bash. My dear Mr Lovemore, I am obli- Sir Bril. What's the matter with you both ?ged to you for taking this matter so much to Burning with envy ! heart.

Sir Bush. And I suppose an elegant epistle, or

come to.


a well-penned billet-doux, accompanied this to- | thus let me clasp thee to my heart.-Sir Bashful, ken of the lady's affection?

your servant.

[Erit Sır Bruce Sir Bril. That would have been an agreeable Sir Bash. What think you now, Mr Lovemore? addition, but it is still to come. Too many fa- Love. All unaccountable, sit. vours at ouce might overwhelm a body. A coun- Sir Bash. By all that's false, I am gulled, try-looking fellow, as my people tell me, left this, cheated, and imposed upon! I am deceived, and curiously sealed up, at my house : he would not dubbed a rank cuckold! It is too clear: she has say from whence it came : I should know that in given him the buckles, and, I suppose, my banktime, was all they could get from him; and I am notes have taken the same course. Diamond now panting to learn from whence this mighty buckles, and three hundred pounds, for sir Brilsuccess has attended me. Sir Bashful, I came, liant! A reward for his merit! saw, and conquered. Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Love. He is the favourite, and I have been Sir Bash. But may not this be from some lady, working for him all this time!

Aside. who imagines that you sent it, and therefore Sir Bash. I now see through all her artitices. chuses to reject your present?

My resolution is fixed. If I can but get ocular Sir Bril. "Oh, no; that cannot be the case. A demonstration of her guilt; if I can but get the little knowledge of the world would soon convince means of proving to the whole world that she is you, that ladies do not usually reject presents from vile enough to cuckold me, I shall then be hapthe man who has the good fortune to please by py. his manner, his taste for dress, and a certain je Love. Why, that will be some consolation ! ne sçai quoi in his person and conversation. Sir Bash. So it will: kind Heaven, grant me

Sir Bash. So I believe. [Ilalks aside. What that at least ! make it plain that she dishonours say you to this, Mr Lovemore?

me, and I am amply revenged! Hark! I hear Love. She would not have torn a letter from her coming. She shall know all I think, and all bim.

I feel. I have done with her for ever. Sir Bril. No, sir Bashful; a present from me Love. [Aside.] Let me fly the impending would not have been returned' back upon my storm. If I stay, detection and disgrace pursue hands.

me. Sir Bashful, I am sorry to see matters take Sir Bash. I dare say not. [To Love.) I sup- this turn. I have done all in my power; and, pose she will give him iny three hundred pounds since there is no room to hope for success, I take into the bargain.

my leare, and wish you a good night. Love. After this, I shall wonder at nothing. Sir Bash. No, no ; you shall not leave me in

Sir Bril. What mortified countenances they this distress. You shall hear me tell her her both pot on! (Looks at them, and laughs. own, and be a witness of our separation. Sir Bash. [Walking up to Sir Bril.] And I

[Holding him. suppose you expect to have this lady?

Love. Excuse me: after what has passed, I Sir Bril. No doubt of it. This is the forerun- shall never be able to endure the sight of her.-ner, I think. Hey, Lovemore?—Sir Bashful, this Fare you well; I must be gone; gond night, sir it is to be in luck. Ha, ha!


[Struggling to go. [Laughs at them both. Sir Bash. You are my best friend : I cannot Love. and Sir Bash. (Both Jorcing a laugh.] part with you. (Stands between him and the Ila, ha!

door.] Stay and hear what she has to say for Sir Bril. You both seem strangely piqued.- herself: you will see what a turn she will gire Lovemore, what makes you so uneasy?

to the business. Love. You flatter yourself, and you wrong me- Love. (Aside.] What turn shall I give it?I-1

асау. .

Confusion! here she comes: I must weather the
Sir Bash. He is a true friend: he is uneasy storm.
on my account. (Aside, and looking at Love.
Sir Bril. And, sir Bashful, something has dash-

Enter Lady Constant. ed your spirits. Do you repine at my success? Lady Con. After this behaviour, Mr Love. Sir Bash. I can't but say I do, sir.

more, I am surprised, sir, that you can think of Sir Bril. Oh! very well; you are not disposed staying a moment longer in this house. to be good company. A l'honneur, gentleinen : Love. Madam, I-'sdeath! I have no infinish your money matters. Lovemore, where do vention to assist me at a pinch. 1.4side. you spend the evening?

Sir Bash. Mr Lovemore is my friend, madam, Love. A good evening to you, sir Brilliant: I and I desire he will stay in my house as long as am engaged. Business with sir Bashful, you he pleascs. Hey, Lovemore!

[Looks at him, and smiles. Sir Bril. Well, don't let me be of inconve- Love. (Aside.] All must out, I fear. tience to you. Fare ye well, gentlemen. Thou Lady Con. Your friend, sir Bashful! And de dear pledge of love ( Looking at the buckles.), you authorise himn to take this unbecoming liberVol. II.

5 A


ty? Have you given him permission to send me and I am ready to part whenever you please :a letter, so extravagant in the very terms of it? nay, I will part.

Love. [ Aside.] Ay, now 'tis coming, and impu- Lady Con. And that is the only point in which dence itself has not a word to say.

we can agree, sir. Sir Bash. I desired him to send that letter, Sir Bash. Had the letter been sent from anomadam.

ther quarter, it would have met with a better reLove. Sir Bashful desired me, madam. ception : we know where your smiles are bes

[Bowing respectfully towed. Sir Bash. I desired him.

Lady Con. Deal in calumny, sir; give free Love. All at his request, madam.

scope to malice; I disdain your insinuations. Ludy Con. And am I to be made your sport ? Śir Bash. The fact is too clear, and reproachI wonder, Mr Lovemore, that you would conde-es are now too late. This is the last of our conscend to make yourself a party in so poor a plot. versing together; and you may take this by the Do you presume upon a trifling mark of civility, way, you are not to believe one syllable of that which you persuaded me to accept of this morn- letter. ing? Do you come, disguised under a mask of Love. There is not a syllable of it deserves the friendship, to help this gentleman in his design least credit, madam. against my honour, and my happiness?

Sir Bash. It was all a mere joke, madam : Love. Aside.] Fairly caught, and nothing can was not it, Lovemore? And as to your being a bring me off

fine woman, and as to any passion that any body Ser Bash. A mask of friendship! He is a true has conceived for you, there was no such thing; friend, madam : he sees how ill I am treated; you can witness for me, Lovemore : can't you? and, let me tell you, there is not a word of truth Lady Con. Oh! you are witnesses for one in that letter.

another. Love. Not a syllable of truth, madam. [Aside.] Love. Sir Bashful knows the fairness of my inThis will do : his own nonsense will save me: tentions, and I know his. [Aside.] He has ac

Sir Bash. It was all done to try you, madam. quitted me better than I expected; thanks to his

Lode. Nothing more, madam : merely to try absurdity. you.

Lady Con. Go on, and aggravate your ill Sir Bash. By way of experiment only: just to usage, gentlemen. see how you would behave upon it.

Sir Bash. It was all a bam, madam; a scene Love. Nothing else was intended; all to try we thought proper to act. Let us laugh at her. you, madam.

[Goes up to LOVEMORE. Lady Con. You have been both notably em- Love. With all my heart---[Aside.] A silly ployed. The exploit is worthy of you. Your blockhead! I can't help laughing at him. snare is spread for a woman; and if you had suc

Laughing heartily. ceeded, the fame of so bright an action would Sir Bash. [Laughing with him.) Ha, ha, ha! add mightily to two such illustrious characters. all a bam; nothing else; a contrivance to make

Sir Bash. A snare spread for her ! Mark that, sport for ourselves--hey, Lovemore?
Mr Lovemore: she calls it ensnaring !

Lady Con. This usage is insupportable. I Love. Enspared to her own good. (To Sin shall not stay for an explanation. Two such BASHFUL.] Ile has pleaded admirably for me. worthy confederates ! - Is my chair ready there?

[Aside. You may depend, sir, that this is the last time Lady Con. As to you, sir Bashful, I have long you will see me in this house.

Erit. ago ceased to wonder at your conduct : you have Sir Bash. Agreed ; a bargain; with all my lost the power of surprising me; but when Mr heart. Lovemore, I have managed this well. Loremore becomes an accomplice in so mean a Love. Charmingly managed! I did not think plot

you had so much spirit. Sir Bash. I am in no plot, madam; and nobo- Sir Bash. I have found her out. The intrigue dy wants to ensnare you; do we, Lovemore? is too plain. She and sir Brilliant are both de

Love. Sir. Bashful knows that no harm was in- tected. tended.

Love. I never suspected that sir Brilliant was Sir Bash. Yes, I am in the secret, and my the happy man. I wish I had succeeded, had it friend Lovemore meant no harm.

been ouly to mortify bis vanity. Love. If the letter had succeeded, sir Bash- Sir Bash. And so do I: I wish it too, but ful knows there would have been no ill conse- ' never own the letter; deny it to the last. quence.

Love. You may depend upon my secrecy. Sir Bash. No harm in nature; but I now see Sir Bash. I am for ever obliged to you. A how things are; and since your ladyship will lisa foolish woman ! how she stands in her own ten to nothing for your own good, it is too plain, light! from all that has passed between us, that our Love. Truly, I think she does. But since I tempers are by no means fitted for each other, have no interest with her ladyship, I shall now

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