a well-penned billet-doux, accompanied this to- | thus let me clasp thee to my heart.-Sir Bashful, ken of the lady's affection? your servant. [Exit SIR BRIL. Sir Bash. What think you now, Mr Lovemore? Love. All unaccountable, sir. Sir Bril. That would have been an agreeable addition, but it is still to come. Too many favours at once might overwhelm a body. A country-looking fellow, as my people tell me, left this, curiously sealed up, at my house he would not say from whence it came: I should know that in time, was all they could get from him; and I am now panting to learn from whence this mighty success has attended me. Sir Bashful, I came, saw, and conquered. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Sir Bash. But may not this be from some lady, who imagines that you sent it, and therefore chuses to reject your present? Sir Bril. Oh, no; that cannot be the case. A little knowledge of the world would soon convince you, that ladies do not usually reject presents from the man who has the good fortune to please by his manner, his taste for dress, and a certain je ne sçai quoi in his person and conversation. Sir Bush. So I believe. [Walks aside.] What say you to this, Mr Lovemore? Love. She would not have torn a letter from him. Sir Bril. No, sir Bashful; a present from me would not have been returned back upon my hands. Sir Bash. I dare say not. [To LOVE.] I suppose she will give him my three hundred pounds into the bargain. Love. After this, I shall wonder at nothing. Sir Bril. What mortified countenances they both put on ! [Looks at them, and laughs. Sir Bash. [Walking up to SIR BRIL.] And I suppose you expect to have this lady? Sir Bril. No doubt of it. This is the forerunner, I think. Hey, Lovemore?-Sir Bashful, this it is to be in luck. Ha, ha! [Laughs at them both. Love. and Sir Bash. [Both forcing a laugh.] Ha, ha! Sir Bril. You both seem strangely piqued.Lovemore, what makes you so uneasy? Love. You flatter yourself, and you wrong meI-I[Walks away. Sir Bash. He is a true friend: he is uneasy on my account. [Aside, and looking at LovE. Sir Bril. And, sir Bashful, something has dashed your spirits. Do you repine at my success? Šir Bash. I can't but say I do, sir. Sir Bril. Oh! very well; you are not disposed to be good company. A l'honneur, gentlemen: finish your money matters. Lovemore, where do you spend the evening? Love. A good evening to you, sir Brilliant: I am engaged. Business with sir Bashful, you sec Sir Bril. Well, don't let me be of inconvenience to you. Fare ye well, gentlemen. Thou dear pledge of love [Looking at the buckles.], VOL. Ik Sir Bash. By all that's false, I am gulled, cheated, and imposed upon! I am deceived, and dubbed a rank cuckold! It is too clear: she has given him the buckles, and, I suppose, my banknotes have taken the same course. Diamond buckles, and three hundred pounds, for sir Brilliant! A reward for his merit! Love. He is the favourite, and I have been working for him all this time! [Aside. Sir Bash. I now see through all her artifices. My resolution is fixed. If I can but get ocular demonstration of her guilt; if I can but get the means of proving to the whole world that she is vile enough to cuckold me, I shall then be happy. Love. Why, that will be some consolation! Sir Bash. So it will: kind Heaven, grant me that at least! make it plain that she dishonours me, and I am amply revenged! Hark! I hear her coming. She shall know all I think, and all I feel. I have done with her for ever. [Holding him. Love. Excuse me after what has passed, I shall never be able to endure the sight of her.Fare you well; I must be gone; good night, sir Bashful. [Struggling to go. Sir Bash. You are my best friend: I cannot part with you. [Stands between him and the door.] Stay and hear what she has to say for herself: you will see what a turn she will give to the business. Love. [Aside.] What turn shall I give it ?———— Confusion! here she comes: I must weather the storm. Enter LADY CONSTANT. Lady Con. After this behaviour, Mr Lovemore, I am surprised, sir, that you can think of staying a moment longer in this house. Love. Madam, I 'sdeath! I have no invention to assist me at a pinch. [.4side. Sir Bash. Mr Lovemore is my friend, madam, and I desire he will stay in my house as long as he pleases. Hey, Lovemore! [Looks at him, and smiles. Love. [Aside.] All must out, I fear. Lady Con. Your friend, sir Bashful! And do you authorise him to take this unbecoming liber 5 A ty? Have you given him permission to send me a letter, so extravagant in the very terms of it? Love. [Aside.] Ay, now 'tis coming, and impudence itself has not a word to say. Sir Bash. I desired him to send that letter, madam. Love. Sir Bashful desired me, madam. [Bowing respectfully. Sir Bash. I desired him. Love. All at his request, madam. Lady Con. And am I to be made your sport? I wonder, Mr Lovemore, that you would condescend to make yourself a party in so poor a plot. Do you presume upon a trifling mark of civility, which you persuaded me to accept of this morning? Do you come, disguised under a mask of friendship, to help this gentleman in his design against my honour, and my happiness? Love. [Aside.] Fairly caught, and nothing can bring me off Sir Bash. A mask of friendship! He is a true friend, madam: he sees how ill I am treated; and, let me tell you, there is not a word of truth in that letter. Love. Not a syllable of truth, madam. [Aside.] This will do: his own nonsense will save me. Sir Bash. It was all done to try you, madam. Love. Nothing more, madam: merely to try you. Sir Bash. By way of experiment only: just to see how you would behave upon it. Love. Nothing else was intended; all to try you, madam. Lady Con. You have been both notably employed. The exploit is worthy of you. Your snare is spread for a woman; and if you had succeeded, the fame of so bright an action would add mightily to two such illustrious characters. Sir Bash. A snare spread for her! Mark that, Mr Lovemore: she calls it ensnaring! Love. Ensnared to her own good. [To SIR BASHFUL.] He has pleaded admirably for me. [Aside. Lady Con. As to you, sir Bashful, I have long ago ceased to wonder at your conduct: you have lost the power of surprising me; but when Mr Lovemore becomes an accomplice in so mean a plot Sir Bash. I am in no plot, madam; and nobody wants to ensnare you; do we, Lovemore? Love. Sir Bashful knows that no harm was intended. and I am ready to part whenever you please :— I will part. Sir Bash. Yes, I am in the secret, and my friend Lovemore meant no harm. Love. If the letter had succeeded, sir Bashful knows there would have been no ill consequence. nay, Sir Bash. No harm in nature; but I now see how things are; and since your ladyship will listen to nothing for your own good, it is too plain, from all that has passed between us, that our tempers are by no means fitted for each other, Lady Con. And that is the only point in which we can agree, sir. Sir Bash. Had the letter been sent from another quarter, it would have met with a better reception: we know where your smiles are bestowed. Lady Con. Deal in calumny, sir; give free scope to malice; I disdain your insinuations. Sir Bash. The fact is too clear, and reproaches are now too late. This is the last of our conversing together; and you may take this by the way, you are not to believe one syllable of that letter. Love. There is not a syllable of it deserves the least credit, madam. Sir Bash. It was all a mere joke, madam: was not it, Lovemore? And as to your being a fine woman, and as to any passion that any body has conceived for you, there was no such thing; you can witness for me, Lovemore: can't you? Lady Con. Oh! you are witnesses for one another. Love. Sir Bashful knows the fairness of my intentions, and I know his. [Aside.] He has acquitted me better than I expected; thanks to his absurdity. Lady Con. Go on, and aggravate your ill usage, gentlemen. Sir Bash. It was all a bam, madam; a scene we thought proper to act. Let us laugh at her. [Goes up to LOVEMORE. Love. With all my heart- [Aside.] A silly blockhead! I can't help laughing at him. [Laughing heartily. Sir Bash. [Laughing with him.] Ha, ha, ha!— all a bam; nothing else; a contrivance to make sport for ourselves-hey, Lovemore? Lady Con. This usage is insupportable. I shall not stay for an explanation. Two such worthy confederates!-Is my chair ready there? You may depend, sir, that this is the last time you will see me in this house. [Erit. Sir Bash. Agreed; a bargain; with all my heart. Lovemore, I have managed this well. Love. Charmingly managed! I did not think you had so much spirit. Sir Bash. I have found her out. The intrigue is too plain. She and sir Brilliant are both detected. Love. I never suspected that sir Brilliant was the happy man. I wish I had succeeded, had it been ouly to mortify his vanity. Sir Bash. And so do I: I wish it too, but never own the letter; deny it to the last. Love. You may depend upon my secrecy. Sir Bash, I am for ever obliged to you. A foolish woman! how she stands in her ow light! Love. Truly, I think she does. have no interest with her ladyship, But since 1 I shall now sound a retreat, and leave matters to your own discretion. Success attend you! [Going. Sir Bush. You must not forsake me in this distress. Love. Had your lady proved tractable, I should not have cared how long I had staid. But since things are come to this pass, I shall now go and see what kind of reception I am to meet with from Mrs Lovemore. Sir Bash. Don't let her know that you have a regard for her. Love. Oh! no; I see the consequence.[Aside.] Well off this time; and, madam Fortune, if I trust you again, you shall play me what prank you please. Sir Bashful, yours. [Going. Sir Bush. A thousand thanks to you. And, hark ye, if I can serve you with your lady——— Love. I am much obliged to you: but I shall endeavour to go on, without giving you the trouble of assisting me. And, do you hear? assure my lady Constant, that I meant nothing but to serve your interest. [Erit. Sir Bash. Rely upon my management. I can acquit you.--My lady Constaut! lady Constant! -Let me chase her from my thoughts! Can I do it? Rage, fury, love-no more of love! I am glad she tore the letter. Odso! yonder it lies. It is only torn in two, and she may still piece the fragments together. I'll pick up the letter this moment it shall never appear in evidence against me. As to sir Brilliant, his motions shall be watched; I know how to proceed with madam, and, if I can but prove the fact, every body will say that I am ill used by her. [Erit. ACT V. Enter MRS BELLMOUR. SCENE I.-An Apartment at MR LOVEMORE'S. Mus. WHY, to be sure, madam, it is so for certain, and you are very much in the right of it. Mrs Love. I fancy I am: I see the folly of my former conduct. I am determined never to let my spirits sink into a melancholy state again. Mus. Why, that's the very thing, madam; the very thing I have been always preaching up to you. Did not I always say, see company, madam, take your pleasure, and never break your heart for any man? This is what I always said. Mrs Love. And you have said enough: spare yourself the trouble now. Mus. I always said so. And what did the world say? Heavens bless her for a sweet woman! and a plague go with him, for an inhuman, barbarous, bloody-murdering brute. Mrs Love. Well, truce with your impertinence; your tongue runs on at such a rate Mus. Nay, don't be angry: they did say so indeed. But, dear heart, how every body will be overjoyed when they find you have plucked up a little! As for me, it gives me new life, to have so much company in the house, and such a racketting at the door with coaches and chairs, enough to hurry a body out of one's wits. Lard! this is another thing; and you look quite like another thing, madam; and that dress quite becomes you. I suppose, madam, you will never wear your negligee again. It is not fit for you indeed, madam. It might pass very well with some folks, madam; but the like of you Mrs Love. Will you never have done? Go and see who is coming up stairs. Mus. What the deuce can she be at now? [Exit. Mrs Bell. You see I am punctual to my time. -Well, I admire your dress of all things. It's mighty pretty. Mrs Love. I am glad you like it. But, under all this appearance of gaiety, I have at the bottom but an aching heart. Mrs Bell. Be ruled by me, and I'll answer for the event. Why really, now you look just as you should do.-Why neglect so fine a figure? Mrs Love. You are so obliging! Mrs Bell. And so true- What was beautiful before, is now heightened by the additional ornaments of dress; and if you will but animate and inspire the whole with those graces of the mind, which I am sure you possess, the impression cannot fail of being effectual upon all beholders; even upon the depraved mind of Mr Lovemore- -You have not seen him since, have you? Mrs Love. He dined at home, but was soon upon the wing to his usual haunts. Mrs Bell. If he does but come home time enough, depend upon it my plot will take. And have you got together a good deal of company? Mrs Love. Yes, a tolerable party. Mrs Bell. That's right: shew him that you will consult your own pleasure. Mrs Love. Apropos, as soon as I came home, I received a letter from sir Brilliant, in a style of warmth and tenderness, that would astonish you. He begs to see me again, and has something particular to communicate. I left it in my dressingroom; you shall see it by and by: I took your advice, and sent him word he might come. The lure brought him hither immediately: he makes no doubt of his success with me. Mrs Bell. Well! two such friends as sir Brilliant and Mr Lovemore, I believe, never existed! Mrs Love. Their falsehood to each other is unparalleled. I left sir Brilliant at the cardtable: as soon as he can disengage himself, he will quit his company in pursuit of me. I forgot to tell you, my lady Constant is here. Mrs Bell. Is she? Mrs Love. She is, and has been making the strangest discovery: Mr Lovemore has had a design there too! Mrs Bell. Oh! I don't doubt him; but the more proof we have, the better. where more cheerful. [Stretching his arms.] I wish I may die if I an't very happy at homevery [Yawns.] very happy! Mrs Love, I can hear otherwise. I am informed that Mr Lovemore is the promoter of mirth and good humour wherever he goes. Love. Oh! no; you over-rate me; upon my soul, you do. Mrs Love. I can hear, sir, that no person's company is so acceptable to the ladies; that your wit inspires every thing: you have your compliment for one, your smile for another, a whisper for a third, and so on, sir: you divide your favours, and are every where, but at home, all whim, vivacity, and spirit. Love. Ho! ho! [Laughing.] how can you talk so? I swear I can't help laughing at the fancy. All whim, vivacity, and spirit! I shall burst my sides. How can you banter one so? Mrs Love. There is sufficient proof: you must know, madam-[A rap at the door.]-As I live and breathe, I believe that is Mr Lovemore! Mrs Bell. If it is, every thing goes on as II divide my favours, too! Oh, Heavens! could wish. Mrs Love. I hear his voice; it is he! my heart beats! How Mrs Bell. Courage, and the day's our own. He must not see me yet: where shall I run? Mrs Love. In there, madam. Make haste; I hear his step on the stairs. Mrs Bell. Success attend you! I am gone. [Exit. Mrs Love. I am frightened out of my senses. What the event may be I fear to think; but I must go through with it. Enter LOVEMORE. You are welcome home, sir. Love. Mrs Lovemore, your servant. [Without looking at her.] Mrs Love. It is somewhat rare to see you at home so early. can't stand this raillery. Such a description of Mrs Love. Just as you please, sir. I see that I am ever to be treated with indifference. [ Walks across the stage.] Love. [Kises, and walks a contrary way.] [ can't put this widow Bellmour out of my head. [Aside. Mrs Love. If I had done any thing to provoke this usage, this cold, determined contempt[Walking, Love. I wish I had done with that business entirely; but my desires are kindled, and must be satisfied. [Aside. [They walk for some time silently by each other.] Mrs Love. What part of my conduct gives you offence, Mr Lovemore? Love. Still harping upon that ungrateful string! Love. I said I should come home, did not I? I always like to be as good as my word-What-but prithee don't set me a laughing againcould the widow mean by this usage? to make an appointment, and break it thus abruptly. Aside. Mrs Love. He seems to muse upon it. [Aside. Love. [Aside.] She does not mean to do so treacherous a thing as to jilt me? Oh, Lord! I am wonderfully tired. [Yawns, and sinks into an armed chair. Mrs Love. Are you indisposed, my dear? Love. No, my love; I thank you, I am very well-a little fatigued only, with jolting over the stones all the way into the city this morning. I have paid a few visits this afternoon-Confoundedly tired-Where's William? Mrs Love. Do you want any thing? Love. Only my cap and slippers. I am not in spirits, I think. [Yawns. Mrs Love. You are never in spirits at home, Mr Lovemore. Love. I beg your pardon; I never am any Offence! nothing gives me offence, child!—you know I am very fond-[Yawns, and walks. I like you of all things, and think you a most admirable wife-prudent, managing-careless of your own person, and very attentive to mine— not much addicted to pleasure—grave, retired, and domestic; you govern your house, pay the tradesmen's bills, [Yawns.] scold the servants, and love your husband:-upon my soul, a very good wife!-as good a sort of a wife [Fans] as a body might wish to have-Where's William? I must go to bed. Mrs Love. To bed so early! Had not you bet ter join the company? Love. I shan't go out to-night. Mrs Love. But I mean the company in the dining-room. Love. Company in the dining-room! [Stares at her. Mrs Love. Yes: I invited them to a rout. Love. A rout in my house!—and you dressed out, too!-What is all this? Mrs Love. You have no objection, I hope? Love. Objection!-No, I like company, you know, of all things; I'll go and join them: who are they all? Mrs Love. You know them all; and there's your friend, Sir Brilliant. Love. Is he there? I shall be glad to see him. But, pray, how comes all this about? Mrs Love. I intend to see company often, Mrs Love. Ay; and not look tamely on, while you revel luxuriously in a course of pleasure. I shall pursue my own plan of diversion. Love. Do so, madam: the change in your temper will not be disagreeable. Mrs Love. And so I shall, sir, I assure you. Adieu to melancholy, and welcome pleasure, wit, and gaiety. [She walks about, and sings. Love. What the devil has come over her? And what in the name of wonder does all this mean? Mrs Love. Mean, sir!-It means, it meanshow can you ask me what it means?-Well, to be sure, the sobriety of that question!--Do you think a woman of spirit can have leisure to tell her meaning, when she is all air, alertness, rapture, and enjoyinent? Love. She is mad!-stark mad! Mrs Love. You're mistaken, sir-not mad, but in spirits, that's all. Am I too flighty for you?Perhaps I am you are of a saturnine disposition, inclined to think a little or so. Well, don't let me interrupt you; don't let me be of any inconvenience. That would be the impolitest thing; a married couple to be interfering and encroaching on each other's pleasures! Oh, hideous! it would be Gothic to the last degree. Ha, ha, ha! Love. [Forcing a laugh.] Ha, ha!—Madam, you-ha, ha! you are perfectly right. Mrs Love. Nay, but I don't like that laugh now: I positively don't like it. Can't you laugh out, as you were used to do? For my part, I'm determined to do nothing else all the rest of my life. Love. This is the most astonishing thing! Madam, I don't rightly comprehend Mrs Love. Oh Lud! oh Lud!-with that important face! Well, but come! what don't you comprehend? Love. There is something in this treatment that I don't so well Mrs Love. Oh! are you there, sir! How quickly they, who have no sensibility for the peace and happiness of others, can feel for themselves, Mr Lovemore !-But that's a grave reflection, and I hate reflection. Love. What has she got into her head? This sudden change, Mrs Lovemore, let me tell you- Mrs Love. Nay, don't be frightened: there is no harm in innocent mirth, I hope: never look so grave upon it. I assure you, sir, that though, on your part, you seem determined to offer constant indignities to your wife, and though the laws of retaliation would in some sort exculpate her, if, when provoked to the utmost, exasperated beyond all enduring, she should, in her turn, make him know what it is to receive an injury in the tenderest point Love. Madam! [Angrily. Mrs Love. Well, well; don't be alarmed. I shan't retaliate: my own honour will secure you there; you may depend upon it.-Will you come and play a game at cards? Well, do as you like ; you won't come? No, no, I see you won't-What say you to a bit of supper with us? Nor that neither?-Follow your inclinations: it is not material what a body eats, you know; the company expects me; adieu, Mr Lovemore, yours, yours. [Exit singing. Love. This is a frolic I never saw her in before!-Laugh all the rest of my life!-laws of retaliation !—an injury in the tenderest point! the company expects me-adieu! yours, yours! [Mimicking her.] What the devil is all this? Some of her female friends have been tampering with her. So, so: I must begin to look a little sharp after madam. I'll go this moment into the card-room, and watch whom she whispers with, whom she ogles with, and every circumstance that can lead to— [Going. Enter MUSLIN, in a hurry. Mus. Madam, madam-here's your letter; I would not for all the world that my masterLove. What, is she mad, too? What's the matter, woman? Mus. Nothing, sir-nothing: I wanted a word with my lady; that's all, sir. Love. You would not for the world that your master-What was you going to say?—what paper's that? Mus. Paper, sir! Love. Paper, sir! Let me see it. Mus. Lord, sir! how can you ask a body for such a thing? It's a letter to me, sir—a letter from the country; a letter from my sister, sir. She bids me to buy her a shiver de frize cap, and a sixteenth in the lottery; and tells me of a number she dreamt of, that's all, sir: I'll put it up. Love. Let me look at it. Give it me this moment. [Reads.] To Mrs Lovemore!'-Brilliant Fashion. This is a letter from the country, is it? Mus. That, sir—that is—no, sir—no;—that's not sister's letter.-If you will give me that back, sir, I'll shew you the right one. Love Where did you get this? Love. Where did you get it?-Tell me truth. Mus. Dear heart, you fright a body so—in the parlour, sir-I found it there. |