sound a retreat, and leave matters to your own discretion. Success attend you! [Going. Sir Bash. You must not forsake me in this dis tress. Love. Had your lady proved tractable, I should not have cared how long I had staid. But since things are come to this pass, I shall now go and see what kind of reception I am to meet with from Mrs Lovemore. Sir Bash. Don't let her know that you have a regard for her. Love. Oh! no; I see the consequence. [Aside.] Well off this time; and, madam Fortune, if I trust you again, you shall play me what prank you please. Sir Bashful, yours. [Going. Sir Bash. A thousand thanks to you. And, bark ye, if I can serve you with your lady Love. I am much obliged to you but I shall endeavour to go on, without giving you the trouble of assisting me. And, do you hear? assure my lady Constant, that I meant nothing but to serve your interest. [Exit. Sir Bash. Rely upon my management. I can acquit you.-My lady Constant! lady Constant! Let me chase her from my thoughts! Can I do it? Rage, fury, love-no more of love! I am glad she tore the letter. Odso! yonder it lies. It is only torn in two, and she may still piece the fragments together. I'll pick up the letter this moment it shall never appear in evidence against me. As to sir Brilliant, his motions shall be watched; I know how to proceed with madam, and, if I can but prove the fact, every body will say that I am ill used by her. [Exit. ACT V. Enter MRS BELLMOUR. SCENE I.-An Apartment at MR LOVEMORE'S. Mus. WHY, to be sure, madam, it is so for certain, and you are very much in the right of it. Mrs Love. I fancy I am: I see the folly of my former conduct. I am determined never to let my spirits sink into a melancholy state again. Mus. Why, that's the very thing, madam; the very thing I have been always preaching up to you. Did not I always say, see company, madam, take your pleasure, and never break your heart for any man? This is what I always said. Mrs Love. And you have said enough: spare yourself the trouble now. Mus. I always said so. And what did the world say? Heavens bless her for a sweet woman! and a plague go with him, for an inhuman, barbarous, bloody-murdering brute. Mrs Love. Well, truce with your impertinence; your tongue runs on at such a rate Mus. Nay, don't be angry: they did say so indeed. But, dear heart, how every body will be overjoyed when they find you have plucked up a little! As for me, it gives me new life, to have so much company in the house, and such a racketting at the door with coaches and chairs, enough to hurry a body out of one's wits. Lard! this is another thing; and you look quite like another thing, madam; and that dress quite becomes you. I suppose, madam, you will never wear your negligee again. It is not fit for you indeed, madam. It might pass very well with some folks, madam; but the like of you- Mrs Love. Will you never have done? Go and see who is coming up stairs. [Erit. Mrs Bell. You see I am punctual to my time. -Well, I admire your dress of all things. It's mighty pretty. Mrs Love. I am glad you like it. But, under all this appearance of gaiety, I have at the bottom but an aching heart. Mrs Bell. Be ruled by me, and I'll answer for the event. Why really, now you look just as you should do.--Why neglect so fine a figure? Mrs Love. You are so obliging! Mrs Bell. And so true- -What was beautiful before, is now heightened by the additional ornaments of dress; and if you will but animate and inspire the whole with those graces of the mind, which I am sure you possess, the impres sion cannot fail of being effectual upon all beholders; even upon the depraved mind of Mr Lovemore- -You have not seen him since, have you? Mrs Love. He dined at home, but was soon upon the wing to his usual haunts. Mrs Bell. If he does but come home time enough, depend upon it my plot will take. And have you got together a good deal of company? Mrs Love, Yes, a tolerable party. Mrs Bell. That's right; shew him that you will consult your own pleasure. Mrs Love. Apropos, as soon as I came home, I received a letter from sir Brilliant, in a style of warmth and tenderness, that would astonish you. He begs to see me again, and has something particular to communicate. I left it in my dressingroom; you shall see it by and by: I took your advice, and sent him word he might come. The lure brought him hither immediately: he makes where more cheerful. [Stretching his arms.] I no doubt of his success with me. Mrs Bell. Well! two such friends as sir Brilliant and Mr Lovemore, I believe, never existed! Mrs Love. Their falsehood to each other is unparallelied. I left sir Brilliant at the cardtable: as soon as he can disengage himself, he will quit his company in pursuit of me. I forgot to tell you, my lady Constant is here. Mrs Bell. Is she? Mrs Love. She is, and has been making the strangest discovery: Mr Lovemore has had a design there too! Mrs Bell. Oh! I don't doubt him; but the more proof we have, the better. wish I may die if I an't very happy at homevery [Yawns.] very happy! Mrs Love. I can hear otherwise. I am informed that Mr Lovemore is the promoter of mirth and good humour wherever he goes. Love. Oh! no; you over-rate me; upon my soul, you do. Mrs Love. I can hear, sir, that no person's company is so acceptable to the ladies; that your wit inspires every thing you have your compli ment for one, your smile for another, a whisper for a third, and so on, sir: you divide your favours, and are every where, but at home, all whim, vivacity, and spirit. Love. Ho! ho! [Laughing.] how can you talk so? I swear I can't help laughing at the fancy. All whim, vivacity, and spirit! I shall burst my sides. How can you banter one so?— Mrs Love. There is sufficient proof: you must know, madam-[A rap at the door.]-As I live and breathe, I believe that is Mr Lovemore! Mrs Bell. If it is, every thing goes on as II divide my favours, too!-Oh, Heavens! could wish. Mrs Love. I hear his voice; it is he! How my heart beats! Mrs Bell. Courage, and the day's our own. He must not see me yet: where shall I run? Mrs Love. In there, madain. Make haste; I hear his step on the stairs. Mrs Bell. Success attend you! I am gone. [Exit. Mrs Love. I am frightened out of my senses. What the event may be I fear to think; but i must go through with it. Enter LOVEMORE. You are welcome home, sir. Love. Mrs Lovemore, your servant. [Without looking at her.] Mrs Loce. It is somewhat rare to see you at home so early. can't stand this raillery. Such a description of me!-I that am rather saturnine, of a serious cast, and inclined to be pensive! I can't help laughing at the oddity of the conceit-Oh [Laughs. Lord! Oh Lord! Mrs Love. Just as you please, sir. I see that I am ever to be treated with indifference. [Walks across the stage.] Love. [Rises, and walks a contrary way.] I can't put this widow Bellmour out of my head. [Aside. Mrs Love. If I had done any thing to provoke this usage, this cold, determined contempt [Walking. Love. I wish I had done with that business entirely; but my desires are kindled, and must be satisfied. [Aside. [They walk for some time silently by each other.] Mrs Love. What part of my conduct gives you offence, Mr Lovemore? Love. Still harping upon that ungrateful string! Love. I said I should come home, did not I? I always like to be as good as my word-What-but prithee don't set me a laughing againcould the widow mean by this usage? to make an appointment, and break it thus abruptly. Aside. Mrs Love. He seems to muse upon it. [Aside. Love. [Aside.] She does not mean to do so treacherous a thing as to jilt me? Oh, Lord! I am wonderfully tired. Offence! nothing gives me offence, child!—you know I am very fond—[Yawns, and walks.]—I like you of all things, and think you a most admirable wife-prudent, managing-careless of your own person, and very attentive to minenot much addicted to pleasure-grave, retired, and domestic; you govern your house, pay the tradesmen's bills, [Yawns.] scold the servants, and love your husband:-upon my soul, a very good wife—as good a sort of a wife [Yawns.] as a body might wish to have-Where's William? [Yawns, and sinks into an armed chair. Mrs Love. Are you indisposed, my dear? Love. No, my love; I thank you, I am very well--a little fatigued only, with joiting over the stones all the way into the city this morning. II must go to bed. have paid a few visits this afternoon--Confoundedly tired-Where's William? Mrs Love. Do you want any thing? Love. Only my cap and slippers. I am not in spirits, I think. [Yawns. Mrs Love. You are never in spirits at home, Mr Lovemore. Love. I beg your pardon: I never am any Mrs Love. To bed so early! Had not you better join the company? Love. I shan't go out to-night. Love. Company in the dining-room! Love. A rout in my house!—and you dressed out, too!-What is all this? Mrs Love. You have no objection, I hope? Love. Objection!—No, I like company, you know, of all things; I'll go and join them: who are they all? Mrs Love. You know them all; and there's your friend, Sir Brilliant. Love. Is he there? I shall be glad to see him. But, pray, how comes all this about? Mrs Love. I intend to see company often. Mrs Love. Ay; and not look tamely on, while you revel luxuriously in a course of pleasure. I shall pursue my own plan of diversion. Love. Do so, madam: the change in your temper will not be disagreeable. Mrs Love. And so I shall, sir, I assure you. Adieu to melancholy, and welcome pleasure, wit, and gaiety. [She walks about, and sings. Love. What the devil has come over her? And what in the name of wonder does all this mean? Mrs Love. Mean, sir!-It means, it meanshow can you ask me what it means?—Weil, to be sure, the sobriety of that question!—Do you | think a woman of spirit can have leisure to tell her meaning, when she is all air, alertness, rapture, and enjoyment? Love. She is mad!-stark mad! Mrs Love. You're mistaken, sir-not mad, but in spirits, that's all. Am I too flighty for you?-Perhaps I am: you are of a saturnine disposition, inclined to think a little or so. Well, don't let me interrupt you; don't let me be of any inconvenience. That would be the impolitest thing; a married couple to be interfering and encroaching on each other's pleasures! Oh, hideous! it would be Gothic to the last degree. Ha, ha, ha! Love. [Forcing a laugh.] Ha, ha !—Madam, you-ha, ha! you are perfectly right. Mrs Love. Nay, but I don't like that laugh now: I positively don't like it. Can't you laugh out, as you were used to do? For my part, I'm determined to do nothing else all the rest of my life. Love. This is the most astonishing thing! Madam, I don't rightly comprehend Mrs Love. Oh Lud! oh Lud!-with that important face! Well, but come! what don't you comprehend? Love. There is something in this treatment that I don't so well Mrs Love. Oh! are you there, sir! How quickly they, who have no sensibility for the peace and happiness of others, can feel for themselves, Mr Lovemore!-But that's a grave reflection, and I hate reflection. Love. What has she got into her head? This sudden change, Mrs Lovemore, let me tell Mrs Love. Nay, don't be frightened: there is no harm in innocent mirth, I hope: never look so grave upon it. I assure you, sir, that though, on your part, you seem determined to offer constant indignities to your wife, and though the laws of retaliation would in some sort exculpate her, if, when provoked to the utmost, exasperated beyond all enduring, she should, in her turn, make him know what it is to receive an injury in the tenderest point Love. Madam ! [Angrily. Mrs Love Well, well; don't be alarmed. I shan't retaliate: my own honour will secure you there; you may depend upon it.-Will you come and play a game at cards? Well, do as you like; you won't come? No, no, I see you won't-What say you to a bit of supper with us? Nor that neither?-Follow your inclinations: it is not material what a body eats, you know; the company expects me; adieu, Mr Lovemore, yours, yours. [Exit singing. Love. This is a frolic I never saw her in before!-Laugh all the rest of my life!-laws of retaliation!—an injury in the tenderest point! -the company expects me-adieu! yours, yours! [Mimicking her.] What the devil is all this? Some of her female friends have been tampering with her. So, so: I must begin to look a little sharp after madam. I'll go this moment into the card-room, and watch whom she whispers with, whom she ogles with, and every circumstance that can lead to[Going. Enter MUSLIN, in a hurry. Mus. Madam, madam-here's your letter; I would not for all the world that my masterLove. What, is she mad, too? What's the matter, woman? Mus. Nothing, sir-nothing: I wanted a word with my lady; that's all, sir. Love. You would not for the world that your master-What was you going to say ?—what paper's that? Mus. Paper, sir! Love. Paper, sir! Let me see it. Mus. Lord, sir! how can you ask a body for such a thing? It's a letter to me, sir—a letter from the country; a letter from my sister, sir. She bids me to buy her a shiver de frize cap, and a sixteenth in the lottery; and tells me of a number she dreamt of, that's all, sir: I'll put it up. Love. Let me look at it. Give it me this moment. [Reads.] To Mrs Lovemore !'-Brilliant Fashion. This is a letter from the country, is it? Mus. That, sir-that is-no, sir-no;-that's not sister's letter.-If you will give me that back, sir, I'll shew you the right one. Love Where did you get this? Love. Where did you get it?-Tell me truth. Mus. Dear heart, you fright a body so-in the parlour, sir—I found it there. Sir Bril. She won't tell her husband!-A charming creature, and blessings on her for so convenient a hint! She yields, by all my hopes! -What shall I say to overwhelm her senses in a flood of nonsense? [Aside. Go, my heart's envoys; tender sighs, make haste— Love. Very well!-leave the room. Mus. The devil fetch it, I was never so out in my politics in all my days. [Exit Mus. Love. A pretty epistle truly! [Reads.] When you command me, my dearest Mrs Lovemore, never to touch again upon the subject of love, you command an impossibility. You excite the 6 flame, and forbid it to burn. Permit me once more to throw myself on my knees, and implore your compassion.'- -Compassion, with a vengeance on him! Think you see me now, with tender, melting, supplicating eyes, languishing at your feet.'Very well, sir' Can you find it in your heart to persist in cruelty?-Grant Love. Hell and distraction! this is too much. me but access to you once more, and, in addi- Sir Bril. What the devil's the matter now? tion to what I already said this morning, I will [Kneels down to buckle his shoe.] This confounded 'urge such motives.'-Urge motives, will ye?-buckle is always plaguing me. Lovemore! I rejoice to see thee. [Looking at each other. Love. And have you the confidence to look me in the face? as will convince you, that you should no longer ' hesitate, in gratitude, to reward him, who here 'makes a vow of eternal constancy and love. : BRILLIANT FASHION.' Pant on thy lip, and to thy heart be pressed. Enter MR LOVEMORE. Sir Bril. I was telling your lady here of the So, so, so your very humble servant, sir Bril-most whimsical adventureliant Fashion!-This is your friendship for me, Love. Don't add the meanness of falsehood to is it? You are mighty kind, indeed, sir-but I the black attempt of invading the happiness of thank you as much as if you had really done me your friend. I did imagine, sir, from the long the favour and, Mrs Lovemore, I'm your hum-intercourse that has subsisted between us, that ble servant, too. She intends to laugh all the you might have had delicacy enough, feeling rest of her life! This letter will change her note. enough, honour enough, sir, not to meditate an Yonder she comes along the gallery, and sir Bril-injury like this. liant in full chase of her. They come this way. Could I but detect them both now! I'll step aside, and who knows but the devil may tempt them to their undoing. A polite husband I am : there's the coast clear for you, madam. [Exit. Enter MRS LOVEMORE and SIR BRILLIANT. Mrs Love. I have already told you my mind, sir Brilliant. Your civility is odious; your compliments fulsome; and your solicitations insulting.- -I must make use of harsh language, sir: you provoke it. Sir Bril. Not retiring to solitude and discontent again, I hope, madam! Have a care, my dear Mrs Lovemore, of a relapse. Mrs Love. No danger, sir: don't be too solicitous about me. Why leave the company? Let me intreat you to return, sir. Sir Bril. Ay, it's all over, I am detected. [Aside.] Mr Lovemore, I feel that I have been wrong, and will not attempt a vindication of myself. We have been friends hitherto, and, if begging your pardon for this rashness will any ways atone Love. No, sir; nothing can atone. The provocation you have given me would justify my drawing upon you this instant, did not that lady, and this roof, protect you. Sir Bril. Harsh language to a friend- Sir Bril. If you will but hear me― Love. Honour! for shame, sir Brilliant! honour and friendship are sacred words, and you profane them both. Sir Bril. If imploring forgiveness of that ladyLove. That lady!-I desire you will never Sir Bril. By Heaven, there is more rapture in being one moment vis-a-vis with you, than in the company of a whole drawing-room of beauties. Round you are melting pleasures, tender trans-speak to that lady, ports, youthful loves, and blooming graces, all unfelt, neglected, and despised, by a tasteless, cold, unimpassioned husband, while they might be all so much better employed to the purposes of ecstacy and bliss. Mrs Love. I am amazed, sir, at this liberty.What action of my life has authorized this assurance !———-I desire, sir, you will desist. Were I not afraid of the ill consequences that might follow, I should not hesitate a moment to acquaint Mr Lovemore with your whole behaviour. Sir Bril. Can you command a moment's patience? Love. Sir, I am out of all patience: this must be settled between us: I have done for the pre scnt. Enter SIR BASHFUL. Sir Bash. Did not I hear loud words among you? I certainly did. What are you quarrelling about? Love. Read that, sir Bashful. [Gives him SIR BRILLIANT'S letter.] Read that, and judge if I have not cause— [SIR BASHFUL reads to himself. Sir Bril. Hear but what I have to sayLove. No, sir, no; we shall find a fitter time. As for you, madam, I ain satisfied with your conduct. I was, indeed, a little alarmed, but I have been a witness of your behaviour, and I am above harbouring low suspicions. Sir Bash. Upon my word, Mr Lovemore, this is carrying the jest too far. Love. It is the basest action a gentleman can be guilty of; and, to a person who never injured him, still more criminal. Sir Bash. Why, so I think. Sir Brilliant, [To him, aside.] here, take this letter, and read it to him-his own letter to my wife. Sir Bril. Let me see it- [Takes the letter. Sir Bash. 'Tis indeed, as you say, the vilest action a gentleman can be guilty of. Love. An unparalleled breach of friendship. Sir Bril. Not altogether so unparalleled : Í believe it will not be found without a precedentas, for example : [Reads. To my LADY CONSTANT'Why should I conceal, my dear madam, that 'your charins have awakened my tenderest pas ⚫sion ? Love. Confusion!-my letter- [Aside. Sir Bril. [Reading] I long have loved you, 'long adored. Could I but flatter myself[LOVEMORE walks about uneasy; SIR BRILLIANT follows him.] Sir Bash. There, Mr Lovemore, the basest treachery! Sir Bril. [Reads.] 'Could I but flatter myself with the least kind return,' Love. Confusion! let me seize the letter out of his hand. [Snatches it from him. Sir Bash. An unparalleled breach of friendship, Mr Lovemore. Love. All a forgery, sir; all a forgery. Sir Bash. That I deny; it is the very identical letter my lady threw away with such indignation. She tore it in two, and I have pieced it together. Love. A mere contrivance to varnish his guilt. Sir Bril. Ha, ha! my dear Lovemore, we know one another. Have not you been at the same work with the widow Bellmour? Love. The widow Bellmour!-If I spoke to ber, it was to serve you, sir. Sir Bril. Are you sure of that? Love. Po! I won't stay a moment longer among ye. I'll go into another room to avoid ye all. I know little or nothing of the widow Bellmour, sir. [Opens the door. Enter MRS BELLMOUR. Hell and destruction!—what fiend is conjured up here? Zoons! let me make my escape out of the house. [Runs to the opposite door. Mrs Love. I'll secure this pass: you must not go, my dear. | Mrs Bel. My lord, my lord Etheridge; I am heartily glad to see your lordship. [Taking hold of him. Mrs Love. Do, my dear, let me introduce this lady to you. Love. Here's the devil and all to do! [Aside. Mrs Bell. My lord, this is the most fortunate encounter. Love. I wish I was fifty miles off.- [Aside. Mrs Love. Mrs Bellmour, give me leave to introduce Mr Lovemore to you. [Turning him to her. Mrs Bell. No, my dear madam, let me introduce lord Etheridge to you. [Pulling him.] My lord— Sir Bril. In the name of wonder, what is all this? up. Sir Bash. This is another of his intrigues blown Mrs Love. My dear madam, you are mistaken: this is my husband. Mrs Bell. Pardon me, madam; 'tis my lord Etheridge. Mrs Love. My dear, how can you be so illbred in your own house?-Mrs Bellmour-this is Mr Lovemore. Love. Are you going to toss me in a blanket, madam?-call up the rest of your people, if you are. Mrs Bell. Pshaw! prithee now, my lord, leave off your humours. Mrs Lovemore, this is my lord Etheridge, a lover of mine, who has made proposals of marriage to me. Love. Confusion! let me get rid of these two furies. [Breaks away from them. Sir Bash. He has been tampering with her, too, has he? Mrs Bell. [Follows him.] My lord, I say! my Lord Etheridge! won't your lordship know me? Love. This is the most damnable accident! Mrs Bell. Pray, my lord, what have I done, that you treat me with this coldness? Come, come, you shall have a wife: I will take compassion on you. Love. Damnation! I can't stand it. [Aside. Sir Bash. Murder will out: murder will out. Mrs Bel. Come, cheer up, my lord: what the deuce, your dress is altered! what's become of the star and ribband? And so the gay, the florid, the magnifique lord Etheridge, dwindles down into plain Mr Lovemore, the married man! Mr Lovemore, your most obedient, very humble servant, |