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time they all have for minding their work, or their impudence is infectious ! Didn't I see him seize family.

your hand? Did'nt I see him hawl you about Mar. [Aside.] All's well; she don't laugh at like a milkmaid? and now you talk of his resme.-[ To her.] Do you ever work, child?

pect and his modesty, forsooth! Miss Hard. Ay, sure. There's not a screen Miss Hard. But if I shortly convince you of or a quilt in the whole house but what can bear his inodesty, that he has only the faults that will witness to that.

pass off with time, and the virtues that will imMar. Odso! Then you must shew me your prove with age, I hope you'll forgive him. embroidery. I embroider and draw patterns my- Hard. The girl would actually make one run self a little. If you want a judge of your work, mad; I tell you I'll not be convinced. I am you must apply to me. [Seizing her hand convinced. He has scarcely been three hours

Miss Hard. Ay, but the colours don't look in the house, and he has already encroached on well by candle-light. You shall see all in the all my prerogatives. You may like his impumorning.

(Struggling dence, and call it modesty. But my son-in-law, Mar. And why not now, my angel ? Such madam, must have very different qualifications. beauty fires beyond the power of resistance.- Miss Hard. Sir, I ask but this night to conPshaw! the father here! My old luck! I never nicked seven that I did not throw ames ace three Hard. You shall not have half the time; for times following.

[Erit Marlow. I have thoughts of turning him oật this very

hour. Enter HARDCASTLE, who stands in surprise.

Miss Hard. Give me that hour then, and I Hard. So, madam ! So I find this is your hope to satisfy you. modest lover. This is your humble admirer, that Hard. Well, an hour let it be then. But I'IL kept his eyes fixed on the ground, and only adors have no trifling with your father. All fair and ed at humble distance, Kate, Kate, art thou not open, do you mind me? ashamed to deceive your father so?

Miss Hard. I hope, sir, you have ever found Miss Hard. Never trust me, dear papa, but that I considered your commands as my pride; he's still the modest man I first took him for; for your kindness is such, that my duty as yet you'll be convinced of it as well as I.

has been inclination.

Ereunt. Hard. By the hand of my body I believe his

vince you.

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Enter Marlow, followed by a Servant. Enter Hastings and Miss NEVILLE.

Mar. I wonder what Hastings could mean, by

sending me so valuable a thing as a casket to Hast. You surprise me ! Sir Charles Marlow keep for him, when he knows the only place ! expected here this night? Where have you had have is the seat of a post coach at an inn-door! your information ?

Have you deposited the casket with the landlady, Miss Nev. You may depend upon it. I just as I ordered you? Have you put it into her owo saw his letter to Mr Hardcastle, in which he tells hands? him he intends setting out a few hours after his Ser. Yes, your honour.

Mar. She said she'd keep it safe, did she? Hast. Then, my Constance, all must be com- Ser. Yes, she said she'd keep it safe enough; pleted before he arrives. He knows me; and she asked me how I came by it? and she said should he find me here, would discover my she had a great mind to make me give an acname, and perhaps my designs, to the rest of count of myself.

[Erit Servant. the family.

Mar. Ha, ha, ha! They're safe, however. Miss Nev. The jewels, I hope, are safe? What an unaccountable set of beings have we

Hast. Yes, yes. I have sent them to Marlow, got amongst! This little bar-maid, though, runs in who keeps the keys of our baggage. In the mean my head most strangely, and drives out the time, I'll go to prepare matters for our elope- absurdities of all the rest of the family. She's

I have had the 'Squire's promise of a mine; she must be mine, or I'm greatly misfresh pair of horses; and, if I should not see taken, him again, will write him further directions.


Enter HASTINGS. Miss Neo. Well ! success attend you! In Hast. Bless me! I quite forgot to tell her that the mean time, I'll go amuse my aunt with the I intended to prepare at the bottom of the garold pretence of a violent passion for my cousin. den. Marlow here, and in spirits, too!

[Erit. Mar. Give me joy, George! Crown me, sha


dow me with laurels! Well, George, after all, ditations on the pretty bar-maid, and, he, he, he ! we modest fellows don't want for success among may you be as successful for yourself as you have the women.

been for me!

[Erit Hast. Hast. Some women, you mean.

But what Mar. Thank ye, George! I ask no more, ha, success has your honour's modesty been crowned ha, ha! with now, that it grows so insolent upon us?

Enter HARDCASTLE. Mar. Did vot you see the tempting, brisk, lovely, little thing, that runs about the house Hard. I no longer know my own house. It is with a bunch of keys to its girdle?

turned all topsy-turvy. His servants have got Hast. Well! and what then?

drunk already. I'll bear it no longer; and yet, Mar. She's mine, you rogue you! Such fire, from my respect for his father, I'll be calm. [Tó such motion, such eyes, such lips but, egad! him.] Mr Marlow, your servant. I'm your very she would not let me kiss them though.

humble servant.

[Bowing loc. Hast. But are you so sure, so very sure of Mar. Sir, your humble servant. [Aside.] What's her?

to be the wonder now? Mar. Why, man, she talked of shewing me Hard. I believe, sir, you must be sensible, sir, her work above stairs, and I'm to improve the that no man alive ought to be more welcome pattern.

than your father's son, sir. I hope you think so? Hust. But how can you, Charles, go about to Mar. I do from my soul, sir. I don't want rob a woman of her honour?

much entreaty. generally make my father's sou Mar. Pshaw! pshaw! We all know the ho- welcome wherever he goes. nour of the bar-maid of an inn. I don't intend Hard. I believe you do, from my soul, sir. to rob her, take my word for it; there's nothing But, though I say nothing to your own conduct, in this house I shan't honestly pay for.

that of your servants is insufferable. Their manHust. I believe the girl has virtue.

ner of drinking is setting a very bad example in Míur. And if she has, I should be the last man this house, I assure you. in the world that would attempt to corrupt it. Mar. I protest, my very good sir, that's no

Hast. You have taken care, I hope, of the fault of mine. If they don't drink as they ought, *casket I sent you to lock up? It's in safety ? they are to blame. I ordered them not to spare

Mar. Yes, yes. It's safe enough. I have taken the cellar. I did, I assure yeu. [To the side care of it. But how could you think the seat of a scene.] Here, let one of my servants come up. post-cuach at an inn-door a place of safety? Ah, [To him.) My positive directions were, that as I nunbskull! I have taken better precautions for did not drink myself, they should make up for my you, than you did for yourself.--I have deficiencies below. Hast. What?

Hard. Then, they had your orders for what Mar. I have sent it to the landlady to keep they do? I'm satisfied. for you.

Nar. They had, I assure you. You shall hear Hast. To the landlady?

from one of themselves. Alar. The landlady. Hust. You did ?

Enter Servant drunk, Mar. I did. She's to be answerable for its forthcoming, you know.

Mar. You, Jeremy! Come forward, sirrah! Hust. Yes; she'll bring it forth, with a wit- What were iny orders ? Were you not told to ness!

drink freely, and call for what you thought fit, Mar. Was not I right? I believe you'll allow for the good of the house? that I acted prudently upon this occasion? Hard. [Aside.] I begin to lose my patience.

Hast. [Aside.] He must not see my uneasiness. Jer. Please your honour, liberty and Fleet

Mar. You seem a little disconcerted though, street for ever! Though I'm but a servant, I'm methinks. Sure nothing has happened?

as good as another man. I'll drink for no man Hust. No; nothing! Never was in better before supper, sir, dammy! Good liquor will sit spirits in all my life! And so you left it with the upon a good supper, but a good supper will not landlady, who, no doubt, very readily undertook sit upon- -hiccup

-upon my conscience, the charge?

sir !

[Staggers out. Mar. Rather too readily. For she not only Mar. You see, my old friend, the fellow is as kept the casket, but, through her great precau- drunk as he can possibly be! I don't know what tion, was going to keep the messenger, too. Ha, you'd have more, unless you'd have the poor ha, lia!

devil soused in a beer-barrel. Hast. Hle, be, he ! They're safe, however, Hard. Zounds! He'll drive me distracted, if I Alur. As a guinea in a miser's purse.

coutain myself any longer! Mr Marlow. Sir; I Hast. [ Aside.] So now, all hopes of fortune have submitted to your insolence for more than are at an end, and we must set off without it. four hours, and I see no likelihood of its coming (Tohim.] Well, Charles, I'll leave you to your me to an end. I'ın now resolved to be master bere,

sir, and I desire that you and your drunken pack | his mistake, but it is too soon quite to undeceive may leave my house directly !

him. Mar. Leave your house !- -Sure you jest, my Mar. Pray, child, answer me one question. good friend? What, when I'm doing what I can What are you, and what may your business in to please you?

this house be ? Hard. Í tell you, sir, you don't please me; so Miss Hard. A relation of the family, sir. I desire you'll leave my house!

Mar. What! A


relation ? Mar. Sure you cannot be serious? At this Miss Hard. Yes, sir! A poor relation, aptime o’night, and such a night! You only mean pointed to keep the keys, and to see that the to banter me?

guests want nothing in my power to give them. Hard. I tell you, sir, I'm serious! and, now Mar. That is, you act as the bar-maid of this that my passions are roused, I say this house is inn? mine, sir; this house is mine, and I command Miss Hard. Inn ! O law—What brought that you to leave it directly.

in your head? One of the best families in the Mar. Ha, ha, ha! A puddle in a storm! I county keep an inn! Ha, ha, ha! Old Mr Hardshan't stir a step, I assure you! (In a serious castle's house an inn! tone.] This your house, fellow! It's my house ! Mar. Mr Hardcastle's house! Is this house This is my house! Mine, while I choose to stay! Mr Hardcastle's house, child? What right have you to bid me leave this house, Miss Hard. Ay, sure,

Whose else should it sir? I never met with such impudence, curse me, be! never in my whole life before!

Mar. So, then, all's out, and I have been Hard. Nor I; confound me if ever I did ! To damnably imposed on! 0! confound my stupid come to my house, to call for what he likes, to head ! I shall be laughed at over the whole town! turn me out of my own chair, to insult the fa- I shall be stuck up in caricatura in all the printmily, to order his servants to get drunk, and then shops! The Dullissimo Maccaroni. To mistake to tell me, This house is mine, sir ! By all that's this house of all others for an inn; and my faimpudent, it makes me laugh! Ha, ha, ha! Pray, ther's old friend for an inn-keeper! What a sir, (Bantering.) as you take the house, what swaggering puppy must he take me for! What a think you of taking the rest of the furniture? silly puppy do I find myself! There, again, may There's a pair of silver candlesticks, and there's I be hanged, my dear, but I mistook you for the a fire-screen, and bere's a pair of brazen-nosed | bar-maid ! bellows, perhaps you may take a fancy to them?

Miss Hard. Dear me ! Dear me! I'm sure Mar. Bring me your bill, sir, bring ine your there's nothing in my behaviour to put me upon bill, and let's make no more words about it. a level with one of that stamp.

Hard. There are a set of prints, too. What Mar. Nothing, my dear, nothing. But I was think you of the rake's progress for your own in for a list of blunders, and could not help maapartment?

king you a subscriber. My stupidity saw every Mar. Bring me your bill, I say: and I'll leave thing the wrong way. I mistook your assiduity you and your infernal house directly!

for assurance, and your simplicity for allurement. Hard. Then, there's a mahogany table, that But its over-This house I no more shew my you may see your face in!

face in! Mar. My bill, I say !

Miss Hard. I hope, sir, I have done nothing Hard. I had forgot the great chair, for your to disoblige you! I'm sure I should be sorry to own particular slumbers, after a hearty meal! affront any gentleman who has been so polite,

Mar. Zounds! bring me my bill, I say, and and said so many civil things to me. I'm sure I let's bear no more on't!

should be sorry (Pretending to cry.] if he left Hard. Young man, young man, from your fa- the family upon my account. I'm sure I should ther's letter to me, I was taught to expect a well-be sorry people said any thing amiss, since I bred, modest man, as a visitor here; but now, I have no fortune but my character. find him no better than a coxcomb and a bully; Mur. [Aside.] By leaven, she wecps ! This but he will be down here presently, and shall is the first mark of tenderness I ever had from a hear more of it.

[Erit. modest woman, and it touches me. [To her.] Mar. How's this! Sure I have not mistaken Excuse me, my lovely girl; you are the only part the house! Every thing looks like an inn. The of the family I leave with reluctance ! But, to be servants cry, Coming. The attendance is auk- plain with you, the difference of our birth, forward; the bar-maid, too, lo attend us. But she's tune, and education, make an honourable conhere, and will further inforın me. Whither so nexion impossible; and I can never harbour a fast, child ? A word with you.

thought of bringing ruin upon one, whose only

fault was being too lovely. Enter Miss HARDCASTLE.

Miss llard. (Aside.] Generous man! I now Aliss Hard. Let it be short, then; I'm in a begin to admire him! (To him. But I'm sure my hurry. [Aside.] I believe he begins to tind out family is as good as Miss Hardcastle's, and, though


I'm poor, that's no great misfortune to a content- er leave my horse in a pound, than leave you ed mind; and, until this moment, I never thought when you smile upon one so. Your laugh makes that it was bad to want fortune.

you so becoming Mar. And why now, my pretty simplicity? Miss Neo. Agreeable cousin! who can help

Miss Hard. Because it puts me at a distance admiring that natural humour, that pleasant, from one, that if I had a thousand pound, I would broad, red, thoughtless, (Patting his cheek.] Ah! give it all to.

it's a bold face ! Mar. [Aside.] This simplicity bewitches me; Mrs Hard. Pretty innocence ! so that, if I stay, I'm undone. I must make one Tony. I'm sure I always loved cousin Con's bold effort, and leave her. [To her.) Your par- hazel eyes, and her pretty long fingers, that she tiality in my favour, my dear, touches me most twists this way and that, over the baspicholls, like sensibly, and were I to live for myself alone, I a parcel of bobbins. could easily fix my choice. But I owe too much Mrs Hard. Ah, he would charm the bird from to the opinion of the world, too much to the au- the tree ! I was never so happy before! My boy thority of a father, so that, I can scarcely speak takes after his father, poor Mr Lumpkin, exactit-it affects me. Farewell! [Erit Mar. ly! The jewels, my dear Con, shall be yours inMiss Hard. I never knew half his merit till continently. You shall have them. Is not he a

He shall not go, if I have power or art to sweet boy, my dear? You shall be married to detain him. I'll still preserve the character in morrow, and we'll put off the rest of his educawhich I stooped to conquer, but will undeceive tion, like Dr Drowsey's sermons, to a fitter opmy papa, who, perhaps, may laugh him out of portunity. his resolution. (Erit Miss HARDCASTLE. Enter Tony, and Miss Neville.

Enter DIGGORY. Tony. Ay, you may steal for yourselves the Dig. Where's the 'Squire? I have got a letter next time; I have done my duty. She has got for your worship. the jewels again, that's a sure thing; but she be- Tony. Give it to my mamma. She reads all lieves it was all a mistake of the servants.

my letters first. Miss Nev. But, my dear cousin, sure you won't Dig. I had orders to deliver it into your own forsake us in this distress. If she in the least hands. suspects that I am going off, I shall certainly be Tony. Who does it come from? locked up, or sent to my aunt Pedigree's, which Dig. Your worship inun ask that o' the letter is ten times worse.

itself. Tony. To be sure, aunts of all kinds are damn- Tony. I could wish to know, though, ed bad things. But what can I do? I bave got

[Turning the letter, and gazing on it. you a pair of horses that will fly like Whistle- Miss Ner. [Aside.] Undone, undone. A letjacket, and I'm sure you can't say but I have ter to him from Hastings. I know the hand. If courted you nicely before her face. Here she my aunt sees it, we are ruined for ever. I'll comes; we must court a bit or two more, for fear keep her employed a little if I can. (To Mrs she should suspect us.

HARDCASTLE.) But I have not told you, madam, [They retire, and seem to fondle. of my cousin's smart answer just now to Mr Mar

low. We so laughed-You must know, madam Enter MRS HARDCASTLE.

—this way a little, for he must not hear us. Mrs Hard. Well, I was greatly fluttered, to

[They confer. be sure. But my son tells me it was all a mis- Tony. (Still gazing.) A damned cramped piece take of the servants. I shan't be easy, however, of penmanship, as ever I saw in my life! I can till they are fairly married; and then, let her keep read your print-hand very well. But here there her own fortune. But, what do I see? Fondling are such handles, and shanks, and dashes, that together, as I'm alive! I never saw Tony so one can scarce tell the bead from the tail. To sprightly before! Ah! have I caught you, my Anthony Lunupkin, Esq. It's very odd, I can pretty doves! What, billing, exchanging stolen read the outside of my letters, where my own glances, and brokeu murmurs ? Ah!

name is, well enough. But, when I come to Tony. As for murmurs, mother, we grumble a open it, it's all-buzz. That's hard, very hard: little now and then, to be sure. But there's no for the inside of the letter is always the cream love lost between us.

of the correspondence. Mrs Hard. A mere sprinkling, Tony, upon

Mrs Hard. Ha, ha, ha! Very well, very the flame, only to make it burn brighter. well. And so my son was too hard for the phi

Miss Nev. Cousin Tony promises to give us losopher? more of his company at home. Indeed, he shan't Aliss Neo. Yes, madam; but you must hear leave us any more. It won't leave us, cousin the rest, madam. A little more this way, or he Tony, will it?

may hear us.

You'll hear how be puzzled him Tony. 0! it's a pretty creature. No, I'd soon- again.

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Mrs Hurd. He seems strangely puzzled now Tony. Ay, that's a sure thing. himself, methinks.

Miss Ned. What better could be expected Tony. [Still gazing.) A damned up and down from being conneted with such a stupid fool, and hand, as if it was disguised in liquor. [Reading.). after all the nods and signs I made him! • Dear sir,' Ay, that's that. Then there's an M, Tony. By the laws, miss, it was your own cleand a T, and an S! but whether the next be an veruess, and not my stupidity, that did your buizzard or an R, confound me, I cannot tell! siness. You were so nice, and so busy with

Mrs Hard. What's that, my dear? Can I your Shake-bags and Goose-greens, that I thought give you any assistance ?

you could never be making believe. Miss Nev. Pray, aunt, let me read it. Nobo

Enter HASTINGS. dy reads a cramp hand better than I. (Twitching the letter from her.] Do you know who it is Hast. So, sir, I find, by my servant, that you from?

have shewn my letter, and betrayed us.

Was Tony. Can't tell, except from Dick Ginger, this well done, young gentleman? the feeder.

Tony. Here's another. Ask miss, there, who Miss Neo. Ay, so it is, (Pretending to read.] betrayed you. Ecod, it was her doing, not * Dear Squire, hoping that you're in health, as I mine. am at this present. The gentlemen of the

Enter MARLOW. • Shake-bag club has cut the gentlemen of the

Goose-green quite out of feather. The odds Mar. So I have been finely used here among -um-odd battle--um-long fighting-um.' you! Rendered contemptible, driven into illhere, here; it's all about cocks, and fighting; it's inanners, despised, insulted, laughed at ! of no consequence; here, put it up, put it up. Tony. Here's another! We shall have old

[Thrusting the crumpled letter upon him. Bedlam broke loose presently. Tony. But I tell you, miss, it's of all the con- Miss Nev. And there, sir, is the gentleman to sequence in the world. I would not lose the whom we all owe every obligation. rest of it for a guinea. Here, mother, do you Mar. What can I say to him? a mere booby, make it out. Of no consequence ?

an idiot, whose ignorance and age are a protec[Giving Mrs HARDCASTLE the letter. ) tion. Mrs Hurd. How is this! [Reads.] Dear Hast. A poor contemptible booby, that would Squire, I am now waiting for Miss Neville, with but disgrace correction. a post chaise and pair, at the bottom of the Miss Nev. Yet with cunning, and malice

garden ; but I find my horses yet unable to per- enough to make himself merry with all our em• form the journey. I expect you'll assist us

barrassments. • with a pair of fresh horses, as you promised.

Hast. An insensible cub. • Dispatch is necessary, as the hag (ay the hag) Mar. Replete with tricks and mischief.

your mother, will otherwise suspect us. Your's, Tony. Baw! damme, but I'll fight you both, • Hastings. Grant me patience !' I shall run dis- one after the other-with baskets. tracted! My rage chokes me!

Mar. As for him, he's below resentment.Miss Nev. I hope, madam, you'll suspend your But your conduct, Mr Hastings, requires an exresentment for a few moments, and not implite planation. You knew of my mistakes, yet would to me any impertinence, or sinister design, that not undeceive me! belongs to another.

Hast. Tortured as I am with my own disapMrs Hard. [Curtseying very low.] Fine spo- pointments, is this a time for explanations? It is ken madaın! you are most miraculously polite not friendly, Mr Marlow. and engaging, and quite the very pink of court- Mur. But, sir esy and circumspection. Madam! [Changing Miss Nev. Mr Marlow, we never kept on your her tone.) And you, you great ill-fashioned vat, mistake, till it was too late to undeceive you.“ with scarce sense enough to keep your mouth Be pacified. shut! Were you, too, joined against me? But I'll defeat all your plots in a moment. As for

Enter Servant. you, madam, since you bave got a pair of fresh Ser. My mistress desires you'll get ready imhorses ready, it would be cruel to disappoint mediately, madam. The horses are putting to. them. So, if you please, instead of running a- Your hat and things are in the next room. We way with your spark, prepare, this very moment, are to go thirty miles before morning. to run off with me. Your old aunt Pedigree will

[Exit Servant. keep you secure, I'll warrant me. You, tou, sir, Miss Nev. Well, well; I'll come presently. may mount your horse, and guard us upon the Mar. (To HASTINGS.) Was it well done, sir, to way. Here, Thoinas, Roger, Diggory, I'll shew assist in rendering me ridiculous? To hang me you, that I wish you better than you do your- out for the scorn of all my acquaintance. Deselves.

[Erit.pend upon it, sir, I shall expect an explanation. Jliss Nev. So, now, I'm completely ruined ! Hast. Was it well done, sir, if you are upon

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