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O. Mir. O, your pardon, sir-but if you had-remember, sir-the lady now is mine, her injuries are mine; therefore, sir, you understand me- -Come, madam. [Leads Oriana to the Door; she goes off. Mirabel runs to his Father, and pulls him by the Sleeve. Mir. Ecoutez, monsieur le count.

O. Mir. Your business, sir?

Mir. Boh!

O. Mir. Boh! What language is that, sir?
Mir. Spanish, my lord.

O. Mir. What d'ye mean?

Mir. This, sir.

[Trips up his Heels. O. Mir. A very concise quarrel, truly- -I'll bully him. [Aside]-Trinidade seigneur, give me fair play.

[Offers to rise. Mir. By all means, sir. [Takes away his Sword] Now, seigneur, where's that bombast look and fustian face your countship wore just now? [Strikes him. O. Mir. But hold, sirrah, no more jesting; I'm your father, sir, your father!

Mir. My father! Then by this light I could find in my heart to pay thee. [Aside] Is the fellow mad? Why sure, sir, I han't frightened you out of your senses? O. Mir. But you have, sir.

Mir. Then I'll beat them into you again. [Offers to strike him. O. Mir. Why, rogue-Bob, dear Bob, don't you know me, child?

Mir. Ha, ha, ha! the fellow's downright distracted! Thou miracle of impudence! wouldst thou make me believe that such a grave gentleman as my father would go a masquerading thus? That a person of threescore and three would run about in a fool's coat to disgrace himself and family? Why, you impudent villain, do you think I will suffer such an affront to pass upon my honour'd father, my worthy father, my dear father? 'Sdeath, sir, mention my father but once again, and I'll send your soul to thy grandfather this minute! [Offers to stab him. O. Mir. Well, well, I am not your father.

Mir. Why then, sir, you are the saucy, hectoring Spaniard, and I'll use you accordingly.

O. Mir. The devil take the Spaniards, sir, we have all got nothing but blows since we began to take their part.

Re-enter DUGARD, ORIANA, and PETIT; with Maid. DUGARD runs to MIRABEL, the rest to Old MIRABEL. Dug. Fie, fie, Mirabel, murder your father!

Mir. My father! What, is the whole family mad ? Give me way, sir; I won't be held.

O. Mir. No, nor I neither; let me be gone, pray. [Offers to go.

Mir. My father!

O. Mir. Ay, you dog's face! I am your father; for I have bore as much for thee as your mother ever did.

Mir. O ho! then this was a trick it seems, a design, a contrivance, a stratagem-Oh! how my bones ache! O. Mir. Your bones, sirrah; why yours?

Mir. Why, sir, han't I been beating my own flesh and blood all this while? O, madam, [To Oriana] I wish your ladyship joy of your new dignity. Here was a contrivance indeed.

Pet. The contrivance was well enough, sir; for they impos'd upon us all.

Mir. Well, my dear Dulcinea, did your don Quixote battle for you bravely? My father will answer for the force of my love.

Ori. Pray, sir, don't insult the misfortunes of your own creating.

Dug. My prudence will be counted cowardice, if I stand tamely now. Aside. Comes up between Mira

bel and his Sister] Well, sir!

Mir. Well, sir! Do you take me for one of your tenants, sir, that you put on your landlord face at me? Dug. On what presumption, sir,, dare you assume thus?

O. Mir. What's that to you, sir?

Pet. Help! help! the lady faints.

[Draws. [Draws.

[Oriana falls into her Maid's Arms.

Mir. Vapours! vapours! she'll come to herself. If it be an angry fit, à dram of asafœtida-If jealousy, hartshorn in water-If the mother, burnt feathers-If grief, ratifia-If it be straight stays or corns, there's nothing like a dram of plain brandy. [Exit.

Ori. Hold off; give me air-0, my brother, would you preserve my life, endanger not your own; would you defend my reputation, leave it to itself. "Tis a dear vindication that's purchas'd by the sword; for though our champion proves victorious, yet our honour is wounded.

O. Mir. Ay, and your lover may be wounded, that's another thing. But I think you are pretty brisk again, my child.

Ori. Ay, sir, my indisposition was only a pretence to divert the quarrel: the capricious taste of your sex excuses this artifice in ours.

For often, when our chief perfections fail,
Our chief defects with foolish men prevail.

[Exit. Pet. Come, Mr. Dugard, take courage; there is a way still left to fetch him again.

O. Mir. Sir, I'll have no plot that has any relation to Spain.

Dug. I scorn all artifice whatsoever; my sword shall do her justice.

Pet. Pretty justice, truly! Suppose you run him through the body; you run her through the heart at the same time.

O. Mir. And me through the head-rot your sword, sir; we'll have plots; come, Petit, let's hear.

Pet. What if she pretended to go into a nannery, and so bring him about to declare himself?

Dug. That I must confess has a face.

0. Mir. A face! A face like an angel, sir. Ad's my life, sir, 'tis the most beautiful plot in Christendom. We'll about it immediately. [Exeunt.

[graphic]

SCENE I. Old MIRABEL's House. Enter Old MIRABEL and DUGARD. Dug. The lady abbess is my relation, and privy to the plot.

O. Mir. Ay, ay, this nunnery will bring him about, I warrant ye.

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Enter DURETETE.

Dur. Here, where are ye all?-O! Mr. Mirabel, you have done fiue things for your posterity-And you, Mr. Dugard, may come to answer this-I come to demand my friend at your hands; restore him, sir, or

[To Old Mirabel. O. Mir. Restore him! What d'ye think I have got him in my trunk, or my pocket?

Dur. Sir, he's mad, and you're the cause on't.

O. Mir. That may be; for I was as mad as he when I begot him.

Dug. Mad, sir! What d'ye mean?

Dur. What do you mean, sir, by shutting up your sister yonder to talk like a parrot through a cage? or a decoy-duck, to draw others into the snare? Your son, sir, because she has deserted him, has forsaken the world; and in three words, has- [To Old Mirabel.

O. Mir. Hang'd himself!

Dur. The very same-turn'd friar.

O. Mir. You lie, sir; 'tis ten times worse. Bob turn'd friar!-Why should the fellow shave his foolish crown, when the same razor may cut his throat?

Dur. If you have any command, or you any interest over him, lose not a minute: he has thrown himself into the next monastery, and has order'd me to pay off his servants, and discharge his equipage.

O. Mir. Let me alone to ferret him out; I'll sacrifice the abbot, if he receives him; I'll try whether the spiritual or the natural father has the most right to the child. But, dear captain, what has he done with his estate?

Dur. Settled it upon the church, sir?

O. Mir. The church! Nay, then the devil won't get him out of their clutches-Ten thousand livres a year upon the church! "Tis downright sacrilege-Come, gentlemen, all hands to work; for half that sum, one of these monasteries shall protect you a traitor from the law, a rebellious wife from her husband, and a disobedient son from his own father. [Exit. Dug. But will ye persuade me that he's gone to a monastery?

Dur. Is your sister gone to the Filles Repenties? I tell you, sir, she's not fit for the society of repenting maids.

Dug. Why so, sir?

Dur. Because she's neither one nor t'other; she's too old to be a maid, and too young to repent.

[Exeunt.

SCENE II. The Inside of a Monastery.

ORIANA discovered in a Nun's Habit, with BISARRE. Ori. I hope, Bisarre, there is no harm in jesting with this religious habit?

Bis. To me, the greatest jest in the habit is taking it in earnest: I don't understand this imprisoning people with the keys of paradise, nor the merit of that virtue which comes by constraint. But I must be gone upon my affairs; I have brought my captain about again.

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