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Capt. Abs. Why, that I should be glad to hear my mistress had been so merry, sir.

Faulk. Nay, nay, nay-I'm not sorry that she has been happy-no, no, I am glad of that-but she has been dancing too, I doubt not?

Acres. What does the gentleman say about dancing? Capt. Abs. He says the lady we speak of dances as well as she sings.

Acres. Ay, truly does she-there was at our last race ball.

Faulk. Hell and the devil!

There! there-I told you so! I told you so! oh! she thrives in my absence!-Dancing!

Capt. Abs. For heaven's sake, Faulk land, don't expose yourself so!-Suppose she has danced, what then? -does not the ceremony of society often obligeFaulk. Well, well, I'll contain myself-perhaps, as you say for form sake.- I say, Mr.—Mr.- What's his d-d name?

Capt. Abs. Acres, Acres.

Faulk. O ay, Mr. Acres, you were praising miss Melville's manner of dancing a minuet-hey?

Acres. Oh, I dare insure her for that-but what I was going to speak of, was her country dancing :odds swimmings! she has such an air with her!

Faulk. Now, disappointment on her! defend this, Absolute! why don't you defend this?-country dances! jigs and reels! am I to blame now? A minuet I could have forgiven-I should not have minded that -I say, I should not have regarded a minuet-but country dances! Z-ds! had she made one in a cotillion-I believe I could have forgiven even that— but to be monkey-led for a night!-to run the gauntlet through a string of amorous palming puppies!to show paces, like a managed filly!-Oh, Jack, there never can be but one man in the world whom a truly modest and delicate woman ought to pair with in a country dance; nd, even then, the rest of the coupies

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should be her great uncles and aunts!

Capt. Abs. Ay, to be sure! grandfathers and grandmothers!

Faulk. If there be but one vicious mind in the set, it will spread like a contagion-the action of their pulse beats to the lascivious movement of the jigtheir quivering, warm-breathed sigbs impregnate the air-the atmosphere becomes electrical to love, and each amorous spark darts through every link of the chain!-I must leave you-I own I am somewhat flurried-and that confounded looby has perceived it.

[Going.
Capt. Abs. Nay, but stay, Faulkland, and thank Mr.
Acres for his good news.
Faulk. D-n his news!

[Exit. Capt. Abs. Ha! ha! ha! poor Faulkland! Fire minutes since nothing on earth could give him a moment's uneasiness!'

Acres. The gentleman wasn't angry at my praising his mistress, was he?

Capt. Abs. A little jealous, I believe, Bob.

Acres. You don't say so? Ha! ha! jealous of me! -that's a good joke!

Capt. Abs. There's nothing strange in that, Bob; let me tell you, that sprightly grace and insinuating manner of yours will do some mischief among the girls here.

Acres. Ah! you joko-ba! ha! mischief-hia! ha! but you know I am not my own property! my dear Lydia has forestalled me.-She could never abide me in the country, because J used to dress so - badly-but, odds frogs and tambours! I shan't take matters so here-now ancient madam has no voice in it-I'll make my old clothes know who's master-I shall straightway cashier the huuting-frock, and render my leather breeches incapable-My hair has been in training some time.

Capt. Abs. Indeed!

Acres. Ay-and thoff the side curls are a little restive, my hind part takes it very kindly.

Capt. Abs. Oh, you'll polish, I doubt not.

Acres. Absolutely I propose so-then, if I can find out this ensign Beverley, odds triggers and flints! I'll make him know the difference o't.

Capt. Abs. Spoke like a man-but pray, Bob, I observe you have got an odd kind of a new method of swearing

· Acres, Ha! ha! you've taken notice of it-'tis genteel, isn't it?-I didn't invent it myself though; but a commander in our militia, a great scholar, I assure you, says that there is no meaning in the common oaths, and that nothing but their antiquity makes them respectable; because, he says, the ancients would never stick to an oath or two, but would say, by Jove! or by Bacchus! or by Mars! or by Venus! or by Pallas! according to the sentiment;-so that to swear with propriety, says my little major, the ' oath should be an echo to the sense; and this we call the oath referential, or sentimental swearingha ha ha! 'tis genteel, isn't it!

Capt. Abs. Very genteel, and very new indeedand I dare say will supplant all other figures of imprecation.

Acres. Ay, ay, the best terms will grow obsoleteDammes have had their day.

Enter FAG.

Fag. Sir, there is a gentleman below desires to see you-Shall I show him into the parlour.

Capt. Abs. Ay-you may.

Acres. Well, I must be gone

Capt. Abs. Stay; who is it, Fag?

Fag. Your father, sir.

Capt. Abs. You pappy, why didn't y directly?

you

Acres. You have business with sir Anthony.—I expect a message from Mrs. Malaprop at my lodgings.

I have sent also to my dear friend, sir Lucius O'Trigger.-Adieu, Jack, we must meet at night, when you shall give me a dozen bumpers to little Lydia.

Capt. Abs. That I will, with all my heart. [Exit Acres.] Now for the parental lecture—I hope he bas heard nothing of the business that has brought me here I wish the gout had held him fast in Devonshire, with all my soul !

Enter SIR ANTHONY.

Sir, I am delighted to see you here, and looking so well! your sudden arrival at Bath made me apprehensive for your bealth.

Sir Anth. Very apprehensive, I dare say, Jack.— What, you are recruiting here, bey?

Capt. Abs. Yes, sir, I am on duty.

Sir Anth. Well, Jack, I am glad to see you, though I did not expect it; for I was going to write to you on a little matter of business.-Jack, I have been considering that I grow old and infirm, and shall probably not trouble you long.

Capt. Abs. Pardon me, sir, I never saw you look more strong and hearty, and I pray fervently that you may continue so.

Sir Anth. I hope your prayers may he heard, with all my heart. Well then, Jack, I have been considering that I am so strong and bearty, I may continue to plague you a long time.-Now, Jack, I am sensible that the income of your commission, and what I have hitherto allowed you, is but a small pittance for a lad of your spirit.

Capt. Abs. Sir, you are very good.

Sir Anth. And it is my wish, while I yet live, to have my boy make some figure in the world.-I have resolved, therefore, to fix you at once in a noble independence.

Capt. Abs. Sir, your kindness overpowers me.→ Yet, sir, I presume you would not wish me to quit the army?

Sir Anth. Oh! that shall be as your wife chooses.
Capt. Abs. My wife, sir!

Sir Anth. Ay, ay, settle that between you-settle that between you.

Capt. Abs. A wife, sir, did you say ?

Sir Anth. Ay, a wife-why, did not I mention her before?

Capt. Abs. Not a word of her, sir.

Sir Anth. Odd so!-I mustn't forget her though. Yes, Jack, the independence I was talking of is by a marriage the fortune is saddled with a wife-but I suppose that makes no difference?

Capt. Abs. Sir! sir! you amaze me!

Sir Anth. Why, what the devil's the matter with the fool? Just now you were all gratitude and duty. Capt. Abs. I was, sir,➡you talked to me of indedependence and a fortune, but not a word of a wife.

Sir Anth. Why-wbat difference does that make? Odds life, sir! if you have the estate, you must take it with the live stock on it, as it stands.

Capt. Abs. Pray, sir, who is the lady?

Sir Anth. What's that to you, sir?-Come, give me your promise to love, and to marry her directly.

Capt. Abs. Sure, sir, this is not very reasonable, to summon my affections for a lady I know nothing of ! Sir Anth. I am sure, sir, 'tis more unreasonable in you to object to a lady you know nothing of,

Capt. Abs. You must excuse me, sir, if I tell you, once for all, that in this point I cannot obey you.

Sir Anth. Hark ye, Jack ;-I have heard you for some time with patience-I have been cool,-quite cool; but take care-you know I am compliance itself when I am not thwarted; no one more easily led -when I have my own way; but don't put me in a frenzy.

Capt. Abs. Sir, I must repeat it—in this I cannot obey you.

Sir Anth. Now d-n me! if ever I call you Jack