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Soph. The world, sister, is a generation of ignorants: and, for my part, I am resolved to do what in me lies to put an end to posterity.

Char. Why, you don't despair of a lover, I hope? Soph. No; but I, will have all mankind despair of

me.

Char. You'll positively die unmarried!

Soph. You, perhaps, may think that dying a martyr; but I shall not die a brute, depend upon't.

Char. Nay, I don't think you'll die either, if you can help it.

Soph. What do you mean, madam?

Char. Only, madam, that you are a woman, and may happen to change your mind; that's all.

Soph. A woman! That's so like your ordinary way of thinking; as if souls had any sexes-No-when I die, madam, I shall endeavour to leave such sentiments behind me, that—(non omnis moriar) the world will be convinced my purer part had no sex at all.

Char. Indeed, my dear sister, if you talk thus in company, people will take you for a mad woman.

Soph. I shall be even with them, and think those mad that differ from my opinion.

Char. But I rather hope the world will be so charitable, as to think this is not your real opinion.

Soph. I shall wonder at nothing that's said or thought by people of your sullied imagination.

Char. Sullied! would have you to know, madam, I think of nothing but what's decent and natural.

Soph. Don't be too positive; nature has its inde

cencies.

Char. That may be; but I don't think of them. Soph. No! Did not you own to me, just now, you were determined to marry?

Char. Well; and where's the crime, pray?

Soph. What! you want to have me explain? But I shall not defile my imagination with such gross ideas. Char. Have a care of this over-niceness, dear sister, lest some agreeable young fellow should seduce you to

the confusion of parting with it. rueful figure in love!

You'd make a most

Soph. Sister, you make me shudder at your freedom! I in love! I admit a lover! Like you, to choose myself a tyrant! a husband! Ugh!

Char. I am afraid, by this disorder of your thoughts, dear sister, you have got one in your head that you don't know how to get rid of.

Soph. I have, indeed; but it's only the male creature that you have a mind to.

Char. Why, that's possible too; for I have often observed you uneasy at Mr. Frankly's being particular

to me.

Soph. If I am, 'tis upon your account, because I know he imposes upon you.

Char. You know it?

Soph. You don't know, perhaps, that Mr. Frankly is passionately in love with me?

Char. I know, upon his treating with my father, his lawyer once made you some offers.

Soph. Why then you may know too, that upon my slighting those offers, he fell immediately into a violent despair.

Char. I did not hear of its violence.

Soph. How, madam! Have you the confidence to question my veracity, by supposing me capable of an endeavour to deceive you?

Char No hard words, dear sister: I only suppose you as capable of deceiving yourself as I am.

Soph. Oh, mighty probable indeed! You are a person of infinite penetration! Your studies have opened to you the utmost recesses of human nature; but let me tell you, sister, that vanity is the only fruit of toilette lucubrations. I deceive myself! ha, ha, ha!

Char. One of us certainly does! Ha, ha!

Soph. There I agree with you. Ha, ba!

Char. Till I am better convinced then on which side the vanity lies, give me leave to laugh in my turn, dear sister.

Soph. Oh, by all means, sweet madam! Ha, ha!
Both. Ha, ha, ha!

2

Char. Oh, here's our mother, father's new wife; she perhaps may decide the question. Ha, ha!

Enter LADY WRANGLE.

Lady W. So, Mrs. Charlotte! what wonderful nothing, pray, may be the subject of this mighty merriment?

Soph. Nothing, indeed, madam; or, what's next to nothing; a man, it seems. Ha, ha!

Lady W. Charlotte, wilt thou never have any thing else in thy head?

Char. I was in hopes, nothing, that was in my sister's head, would be a crime in mine, madam.

Lady W. Your sister's! What? How? Who is it you are laughing at?

Char. Only at one another, madam; but, perhaps, your ladyship may laugh at us both; for it seems my sister and I both insist that Mr. Frankly is positively in love but with one of us.

Lady W. Who, child?

Soph. Mr. Frankly, madam.

Lady W. Mr. Frankly in love with one of you! Soph. Ay, madam; but it seems we both take him to ourselves.

Lady W. Then Charlotte was in the right in one point.

Soph. In what, dear inadam?

Lady W. Why, that for the same reason you have been laughing at one another, I must humbly beg leave to laugh at you both-Ha, ha!

Char. So, this is rare sport. [Aside. Lady W. But pray, ladies, how long has the chimera of this gentleman's passion for you been in either of your heads?

Soph. Nay, madam, not that I value the conquest; but your ladyship knows he once treated with my father upon my account.

Lady W. I know he made that his pretence to get acquainted in the family.

Soph. Perhaps, madain, I have more coercive reasons, but am not concerned enough at present to insist upon their validity.

Lady W. Sophronia, you have prudence. [Sophronia walks by and reads] But what have you to urge, sweet lady? How came this gentleman into your head, pray? Char. Really, madam, I can't well say how he got in; but there he is, that's certain: what will be able to get him out again, heaven knows.

Lady W. Oh, I'll inform you then; think no more of him than he thinks of you, and I'll answer for your cure. Ha, ha, ha!

Char. I shall follow your prescription, madam, when I am once sure how little he thinks on me.

Lady W. Then judge of that, when I assure you that his heart is utterly and solely given up to me.

Soph. Well! I did not think my lady had been capable of so much weakness.

[Aside. Char. How! to you, madam? How is that possible, unless he makes you dishonourable offers?

Lady W. There's no occasion to suppose that neither; there are feelings you have no notion of: he knows my virtue is impregnable: but that- -preserves him mine.

Char. Nay, this does puzzle me indeed, madam. Soph. If you had ever read Plato, sister, you might have known, that feelings of the greatest dignity have not their source from veins and arteries.

Lady W. Sophronia, give me leave to judge of that; perhaps I don't insist that he is utterly Platonic neiiher: the mansion of the soul may have its attractions too; he is as yet but udum et molle lutum-and may take what form I please to give him.

Char. Well, madam, since I see he is so utterly at your ladyship's disposal, and that 'tis impossible your virtue can make any use of him in my vulgar way; shall I beg your good word to my father, only to make me mistress of his mortal part?

Lady W. Heavens! what will this world come to? This creature has scarce been two years from school, and yet is impatient for a husband? No, madam, you are too young as yet; but-Cruda marito. Your education is not yet finished; first cultivate your mind; learn of your sister here, to live a bright example of your sex; refine your soul; give your happier hours up to science, arts, and letters; enjoy the raptures of philosophy, subdue your inclination, and renounce mankind.

Char. Oh, dear madam, I should make a piteous philosopher; indeed your ladyship had much better put me out to the business I am fit for: here's my sister has learning enough o' conscience for any one family; and, of the two, I had much rather follow your ladyship's example, and use my humble endeavours to increase it.

Lady W. My example! Do you suppose then, if I had been capable of gross desires, I would have chosen your father for the gratificator of them?

Char. Why not, madam? my papa's a hale man, and though he has twice your ladyship's age, he walks as straight, and leads up a country dance as brisk, as a beau at a ball.

Lady W. Come, none of your inferences; I was governed by my parents; I had other views than love in marrying Mr. Wrangle.

Char. Yes, a swinging jointure.

Lady W. What is't you smile at, madam?

[Aside.

Char. Nothing, madam, only I don't understand these philosophical mysteries; but if your ladyship will indulge me in marrying Mr. Frankly, as for the rest I'll take my chance.

Lady W. What a giddy confidence! But thou art strangely vain, Charlotte, to be so importunate for a man, that, as I bave told thee, has the misfortune to be passionately in love with me.

Char. Indeed, indeed, madam, if your ladyship would but give him leave to open his mind freely, he would certainly tell you another story.

Lady W. I will send for him this minute, and convince you of your error.

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